It took me seven years
to realise
the words in my mind
were too deep for
my mouth to dig up
I thought it was easier
to open my skin
and let the truth
pour down my arms

It took me seven years
to realise
nobody should be allowed
to touch parts
of your home
or hold pieces  
of your heart
that you don't yet understand

It took me seven years
to realise
I will wear these scars
forever
I'll carry them
through every smile
every kiss
every concerned gaze
I'll carry them
to my grave

It took me seven years
to realise
the pain carved
into the walls
of my castle
etchings of
attempting to disappear
are not a story of weakness
but a tale of
how I survived

I feel so stereotyped
I say I like one thing
And that’s all I’m known for
I said I liked
A game
That’s all she saw
A girl
They labeled me lesbian
A genre
They insisted I’m weird
Why is it
People only see
One side of me?
I’m so much more
Than a game
A crush
A book genre
Or some naive
Little kid.

They told me to sit small,
legs crossed like folded paper,
voice tucked behind my teeth
as if silence were a virtue.

Cover up
Because if you don’t
It’s your fault

Your fault for their actions

If you ask for help
It never works
“He has a bright future”

If you need it to stop
Need to make a change
You can’t

It’s your body
But it’s their choice

Your skin, a weapon
turned on yourself
distracting, disgusting

You would never ask the same of a man

People ask
Man or bear
The answer may seem obvious to them
But no
Bear
Bear
Always bear
Because if it were a man
It would be so much worse

A man in a room of women
Ecstatic and elated
A woman in a room of men
Terrified and petrified

My shoulders?
Do they distract you
How about the bulge in your pants?
That distracts me
But I can’t say that
That’s unacceptable and awkward

So for once
Maybe instead of protection
Education would be the way to go
Because the answer should never be bear

I was raised as a mother,
Never as the daughter.
A burden they carried,
Never the healer.

I was the giver,
Never the receiver—
And for one single mistake,
I became the villain.