pause
if for a moment
let your life force
melt into the energy that surrounds us
from battles fought within this
and alongside those occurring centuries past
from the first innocent child to see the Sun
we are the sum of these energies burned
we are the children of what came before
ever changing from ingredients
added to evolution's melting ***
from sea to cave to moon
and beyond
perhaps a home reflected
in the eye of the Hubble
energies link will lead us there
our beginning

you appear from the East
into a scene of purple and red shafts of light
that split the darkened rain burdened clouds
as the Sun falls away
catching a thousand eyes
mesmerize

silently gliding
capturing the minds of child and elderly alike
yellow beams of energy pulse as if alive
encircle you in waves
you pause and pull the thought from your admirers
we see the universe for just a moment

and you are gone

certainly our imagination caught us twitching
and today
reason has resumed

I have risen above the storm
while other men succumb to less
no-one turns as I pass
or nods in respect
yet I have conquered foe
they shall never see in their lifetime
I have faced evil in the coldest of nights
pulled another from the reaper's clutch
where many accept
I resist
where many remain silent
I question
I shall pass into my eternal home
as I arrived in this one
identity my own
dignity intact
my soul clean
as falling snow

In a High School classroom
I read a poem many years ago
about a man who stood before another man
vaguely pleading under his breath
for the other man held a knife
and appeared willing to carry out this act
there was little fight left in him
even before this stranger arrived
for his life had become a succession
of empty days
and long nights dreading the Sun
he had become a victim of his own bitterness
a sad, depleted soul
and he almost welcomed an end

'the blood of fleeing life
and the tears of anguish fell in drops
to the time-worn floor of the dismal room'

such a pitiful fate
even more pitiful is the fact that there was no stranger

'a blinking hotel sign revealed a dead man
lying beneath a mirror smeared with blood
and dried to the image of a stretched palm
many hours later'

i am unprotected
at the mercy of
in the grip of
these most vile tormentors
they visit when i am most distraught
and play for me my most delicate dreams
the precious moments i have lost
that lead to solace i'll never know
outside these lucid scenes

demons of a tortured mind
the life i've missed
played before me these eternal nights
the lost dreams of a fool

I want to live at half speed
to absorb more fully
your beauty
your laughter
your love
to allow the view to settle
the words to sink deep
but alas
I would fall behind you
tomorrow's sunrise would arrive without me
and I would lose you
to time

and as I face the fires of a new day
I place my truth in a jar
like an old man's teeth
twisted, honest smile
waiting for me
and the hours burn
the shore more distant
the eye less clear
yet I make my way
and undo the lid
hoping, searching I return
to me

and these snarling teeth
something out of a horror movie memory
from some murky black ooze
clamped tight on my lower half
tearing it away as if I were a sandwich
it pulled back into the bubbling black
grinning as it chewed
one shoe dangling from the corner of it's mouth
rows of razors churning like a great white
it stopped before going completely under
and let me watch it finish
I only wished to die before it's second strike
but it coiled, then sprang
from that endless neck
it's jaws opening as it came closer
through the haze I saw what appeared to be writing above it's eyes
branded into it's thick skin
X X
I then heard above my pounding heartbeat a click
and all was quiet
and the beast halted
mouth agape
close enough to read the word burned in black on it's hideous head
inches from me
E X X O N

I awoke
it was Friday
time to fill up

the moon
once the beautiful loner
giving final nod to lovers
in backs of cars
to consummate their fire

the moon
mystery orb
prayed to and lied to
hearts gravity
the God of all desire

the moon
one small step
size 11 imprint
like red paint smeared across Mona's face

no longer the nod

when snow has settled
and Sun is high
when dark gives way
to familiar sky
centuries have passed
since the final cry
fell silent on deaf ears

life begins anew

this same moon sits above the tree line
and with it’s light I can distinguish,
even in the bleakest of nights,
that line set against the pitch black sky

I grow cold
and my bones ache of age
as I languish here
drowning in this sea of irrelevance
this vile, slow torture
that awaits my every dawn

they look at me with a curious eye
that quickly turns to distant fear
those who sleep above their dreams
and question not their souls

I once relished the night
as it took me in like a lost child
child that I was
it's shadows a source of comfort
curtain pulled across those shallow faces
'rest my son and do not fear the darkness
sleep to the hum of a thousand souls watching over you'
my protector

but I have lost my way in this solitude
that was once my salvation
this island I called home
and when I seek the warmth of my beloved
she turns away as if I am the demon of her dreams
why did you abandon me
my shadow
where does one turn when they have outlived the night

In the dim light of the kitchen
I noticed she was standing,
gazing through the window
for quite some time
I took another sip of coffee
and made my way over
her back to me
I put my arm round her shoulder as I often do
"What do you see out there in the dark?"
she didn't answer
just continued to stare
then turning slightly toward me
I saw a tear had made it's way down her cheek
her hand was shaking just enough that I would notice
"I don't remember walking over here"
she said in such a pitiful voice
that I had to fight back my own tears
"You're just tired
Maybe we should turn in early"

Like the dying light of a distant star
I was losing her
a little more each night

In the dim of the kitchen
I sip my coffee
and eye a black patch of sky
where once flickered the light of a star
so brightly

looking back through time shaved eyes
I am blessed by these corridors of memory
otherwise hollow
should you not be present
epic torture of a miniscule life
only room for so many kings
return to me on the power of thought
fleeting though it was
it was
I lose myself in the open valley
and rolling hills
on this daybreak drive
and I am there
with you in those precious days
when our love burned
through the boundaries
of time

I leave through my mind's eye
I see you in the distance
along the shoreline
on these islands that you described
in our dreams
where do our thoughts meet
when will our souls touch
I see you here
night after night
before the intrusion of waking life
but you are always walking away
towards a blur
the end of my dream
then you turn for just a moment
and cover your eyes from the Sun
I am pulled away
my calls taken by the Sea

It began its free fall from somewhere above 100
Bobbing and weaving
The white reflecting the sun
As it twisted and turned
On it’s long journey down
Amazing to watch really
Such a delicate sight amidst such chaos
I wondered what was written
Maybe it is just a page of a 200 page report
On the benefits of switching from rubber
To plastic door stops?
Or perhaps a blank sheet of copy paper
Ripped from it’s wrapping
Ripped from it’s family
Whatever it was
It was beautiful to see
I followed it all the way down
91,44,20,11,7.…
Until it came to rest gently in the dust

I must know
It is right there, so close
I must know before I join the others
Or I shall leave this earth with that question
Unanswered
A fate I wish on no-one

In the blinding, falling dust
I made my way to the paper
My eyes never leaving the spot
Past those faces that one can only imagine would look
In the balance of life and death
And I came upon it
I felt great relief in seeing letters
Beneath the fresh dust
I brushed it gently and began to read

Dear Mom & Dad,
We are learning to use e-mails on the computer today. Our first assignment is to write a letter to our Parents. We learned lots of cool stuff in class. We learned about President Kennedy who sounded like a great man. But then we learned that he was assassinated and everybody got real quiet. Why did that bad man **** President Kennedy? Why didn’t they stop him? Mr Turner didn't know why. Then we learned about the Empire State Building and other real tall buildings like the one you work in Daddy and how we can feel safe in them because they are built so strong. Well, it’s time for recess and Mr Turner is going to play touch football with us. See you after school!! I love you guys! Bye, Bobby

My first tear was eclipsed by a great shadow before it hit the ground

Ghosts of bitter sorrow reign
within my somber, dark domain
tears of Angels streak my walls
cast aside, they walk these halls

voices echo in the night
whispers of their lonely plight
lost souls searching, drawn to me
window to the living sea

I am haven for their grief
once the king of disbelief
hidden here like tears in rain
they find solace in my pain

it is truly sobering
what life has to offer
once one begins to listen
begins to search
begins to accept
what our senses are telling us
it is there for us to explore
and oh
how I have explored these last few years

when the doubts have subsided
we can enter this illuminating world
we can touch the other side
hear the voices of the past that are not chained by time
observe those that observe us from afar

this is the life I have come to know
phenomenon within my grasp
the unbridled certainty
the crystalline clarity
the cleansing freedom that comes with the knowledge
that we are not alone

sharp as a razors edge
your tongue slices hearts and souls alike
I dare you to speak

at the outset of self foundation
i am bewildered into self containment
for nothing i see is me
and what i am now
lay naked and reluctant
to seek the unattainable goal
contentment
which is in itself
confusion

it was somewhere within a nightmare
she appeared
quieting the storm
and sending black rolling clouds
into the Sea
the Sun returned while sounds of  nature magnified
and slowed
as they do in dreams
she turned and walked towards me
her white flowing gown
being slowly removed
we made love to a song I'd never heard
but knew
her blue eyes spoke in words of love I'd never heard
but remembered
while our bodies dripped with the colors of our dream
I fell asleep during a kiss
and awoke to the sounds of life
to the smell of reality
wondering if such beauty
could ever be realized

I am no longer the focus
of Victoria's view
the object in her direction
her sights now raised
above the dwindling light
of my affection

this dangerous game we play
like fire on ice
the closer we get
the more likely we are
to drown

when the fires truly begin
will you find yourself hesitant to depart
to begin anew...spirit cleansed

they scatter like klegetts when we turn our lights on
they see well in the Sun
this is why we wait for night’s cover
to begin the hunt
when they search for food

we note that they are beginning to feed on themselves
as their numbers diminish and their food supply wanes
we’re not sure when they started here
notations from the last visitors
reflect a pristine oasis
if we are to make this place our home
we must eliminate this useless species
after years of study they are shown to have
only negative impact on their surroundings

in the beginning I felt remorse for these creatures
however, after learning that they have caused the extinction
of numerous species
docile inhabitants
my remorse has turned to determination
to see them vanquished
and to clear a path for the return to the majestic beauty
that once thrived here


the humans are close to elimination
the cleansing is nearly complete

I remember a line from a movie long ago;
'There's a hole in my heart that cannot be filled'

It was five years ago I had first heard of him.
'Hayden sat next to me at lunch, Daddy,' she would sigh,
and we would tease her,
her older brother, sister and I.
'Well, you need to talk to him, tell him that you like him'
'I can't do that, the kids would make fun of me. Besides, I'm only six!'
From kindergarten through 4th grade,
this modern day Tom Sawyer had captured my little girl's heart.

We sat in the back of the church,
Hayden's Father is saying goodbye to his son.
She rests her head on my shoulder,
her strength deeper than my own.
I came to know him this day,
this beautiful child who brought a light to my own.
His huge, brown eyes reflecting love of youth
and the joy that resides in innocence.
Those moments so pure,
her thoughts of Hayden will no longer grace our lives.
How wonderful they were.
There's a hole in my heart that cannot be filled,
and the light of childhood has been dimmed.
The balance of joy and pain has come much too soon
to one so young, my little girl.

in the bowels of the ever after
a conscious soul resides
it distributes hope and heartfelt laughter
where true love slowly dies
it borrows smiles
for wasteful lies
and never asks a wage
provides a word to struggling poets
to offset certain rage
calms the heart felt burdened
by the madness in this world
and opens thought once buried
to peace and joy unfurled

there are sharks within the shadows
trolls amongst the trees
witches in the holler
and serpents in the seas

storm clouds harbor distant spies
from the dark side of the moon
your tv has a set of eyes
and they'll be coming soon

they do not like the thinkers
they despise the unbound thought
freedom has its limits
is that not what we were taught?

Now rise above your fear of those
who would have you begging please
search beyond the gilded cage
get up off your knees

who's that on the grassy knoll
disappeared down a rabbit hole
what's that on the picket fence
puff of smoke it all makes sense
metal flyin' everywhere
we all know but they don't care
mauser was the toy they found
it don't match the killer's round
soldiers soldiers follow me
I'll tell you what you need to see
there's only one goal
only one mission
believe the lie
the Dulles Commission

Time, ever present
Fleeting ghost
Like a dream it will send you drifting
Floating like a whisper
Through a sky of echoes
Drowning like a thought
In seas of color
Adrift in sleepy detachment
Like an infant
Fixated on a clown mobile
Dangling above it's crib
Until a memory grabs you
Perhaps the smell of vanilla
Or the barely heard barking
Of a distant, restless dog
As you lay in the quiet moments before sleep
And you are back in the warmth, the comfort
The shadow
That is yours alone

isn't it a pity
we're heading towards the end
there's a war without a winner
and no-one left to mend

an idea that's long been buried
by those who run the show
give peace a chance is over
a dream we'll never know

for the dreamers now are silenced
truth they can't afford
the end days set in motion
resolutions go ignored

isn't it a pity
they hurried us along
made us smart but we're not ready
now we see why that was wrong

they watch and wait and wonder
do they save or let us go
are we worth our own salvation
or do we start again...

all things come to pass
and the day will soon be here
so we smile and make our way
as if we have no fear

isn't it a pity
isn't it a shame

what do I need to say
to say I love you
how can you not know
how can I not know
if you think of me
in such a way

I will tell you soon
when the moon is right
when your smile is bright
and cuts through all the pain
of waiting

sometime in the early 60's
when I was still that near-empty canvas
about to be painted
the dark strokes began
the old man with the long grey hair
***** beard and tattered clothes
digging through the trash outside the Smithsonian during a first grade field trip
we all stared...no words spoken
no explanation from our teacher
that is my first vivid memory of the dark strokes
the second was an incident in Dallas, Texas
this was black paint in very bold lines
that never seemed to dry
smaller dark strokes were interspersed with bright colors as well
for this is the painting of life
learning we were poor
that my father worked two or three jobs to feed the eight of us
over the many years
such a good man
a quiet genius set out to provide at age thirteen when his father passed of TB
it was all he did...work
but he was a brilliant man
if not accessible...a poet as well
which I discovered after his death
his colors
his painting was very dark
save for one bright stroke of light that drew the eye first
the crowning achievement of his lifetime
my Mother
who added so much light against the darkness in all our paintings
an Angel on earth
the balance that provided hope
moved us along
matched every dark stroke life threw our way
gave us all reason to view our paintings upon completion
with the joy of knowing that we would soon be with the artists
once again

float like a butterfly
sting like a bee
may you rest in peace
Muhammad Ali

"You take their lives with no compassion,
as if killing a fly.
They are Human Beings."

"They are cattle! and should be treated as such."

"But you were Human."

"Silence!
I have lived 10 thousand years.
Do you really believe I still carry compassion for these creatures?
You will lose compassion very quickly, my boy.
When you are sick of rodent and dog.
When nights pass one after another and your hunger is all that guides you.
When you grovel in the rain and mud waiting for a farmer to check his fields.
When their blood is your survival.
Talk to me of compassion after 100 kills."

"I don't know if I want this.
Must I lose my soul to gain immortality?"

"Don't be silly, my boy...your soul is already lost."

when things slow
the cheetah after a futile chase
lay in the grass and ponder
gathers his breath
I watch the ice form and quiet
the rushing river below
or the Sun
retreat
submit to dusk
it is here I find the corridor

Sixty plus years ago
and the pall that covers us today
takes me there
as if I'd never escaped
the dark secrets are darker
the lies run deeper
and the consequences are greater

'those who fail to learn from the mistakes
of their predecessors
are destined to repeat them'

and here we are
watching helpless as we drown in the muddy waters
of apathy
silent
we are even more unaware
as to what is truth and what is fiction

we will soon pay the price
for not listening
not reacting
to the desperate plea of salvation
and to one man
who knew the consequences

and this time there will be no chance
to find solace in our dreams
peace within our hollow contentment
for we have lost everything
that is sacred

I hear her name
and a piece of my soul breaks away
and drifts into oblivion

I recall her face
and a twinge in my heart
sinks deep and takes root

I feel the one kiss
that sustained me as water
to a dying plant

Time can be cruel
it never forgets
true love

I find myself slipping
dripping
sipping on old coffee
my useless dreams diminished
my dreamscape world
is all but finished
I don't do well when in this place
it reminds me of a darker space
when I was young
and ran from sleep
to chase off the morning
the dark
the deep
I would plan my escape
until the last fading thought
then awake to the light
that so hard I had fought

I find myself slipping
to a place I once knew
but the nights aren't as dark
for their numbers are few