the ocean is restless tonight and moonlight breaks apart
then comes together like hearts of hopeless lovers
the earth turns just slow enough to see and not see the stars move
your shadow walks along wave's crest
passes ever so slowly and is eventually devoured by night
though I strain to still see
ghost ***** dance silently
free of their daytime tombs
indifferent to this pathetic being lost in useless thought
they scatter as the Sun begins to rise
and more of them bring their chairs

if I wrote you the most beautiful poem ever written
would you at least contemplate the possibility
that I could love you?
if you saw me at the end of your most calming dream
would your eyes open to one who aches to see you smile?
if I could erase all the scars and all the pain that has been heaped upon your staggered soul
would there be hope for me to capture the light that remains?

i followed you
into the depths of your suspicions
your paranoia
your accusations cut deeper than you know
the night and day
black and white
love and hate dance we shared
brought me to the edge of my own delicate sanity
and to life itself
I loved you like no other
and hated you as I would my worst enemy
you were fire and ice
beauty and cancer
peace and war
I miss you to this day
and curse you for every day I lost

i want to write
but the words dangle like crow
on a wire
against the Sun
their black shine ablaze
i no longer fly to join them
they caw and move on
the old man is done
i watch as they become small
and fade into the darkening skies
time to put the black book away
the Sun has set

hold the silence to your ear
and hear
the voices of the dead
in their desperate loss
or eternal joy
they may cry out for one more breath of life
or
whisper the solace they have found
in the light
the soul is not lost
the spirit carries on
in the silence they await
for you and I to open our hearts

what is it that I seek
here in the dark hours
the spirit's time
I awake to fingers dancing upon
the nape of my neck
and whispers of a lost soul
seeking connection
to it's once breathing consciousness
to me
why am I drawn to your realm
perhaps the answer resides in the truth that
I was not intended
conceived against doctor's orders
avoiding certain death
many times
including my first hour
perhaps this is the reason I feel closer to you
than my mortal self
counting the breaths
as I edge nearer the kiss of death
my birth