Should we go in?
If we do, I know I'll just say yes,
I'll let them have what they want,
And who knows what could happen,

Then I'm back against the wall,
Forced to make the choice: "Yes"
So in we go.

Then another choice but this time,
I make them decide on,
A cup disguised as harmless,
But there's fire in the ice.
"Yes"

And in but a minute,
Enough is in our veins,
To colour the world,
In rainbows and glitter,

These laughs and trying to,
Stop. But not for long,
Before both in hysteria while,
Confused, strangers pass.

Time could pass,
Between my footsteps,
Eternities in each pace,
Before I'd realise.

The sky could dim,
And glow and dim,
And glow thousand times,
Before I'd look up.

Waters of ages could fall,
Or rise to meet my breaths,
And carve the path before me,
Before I'd blink.

But if I stopped,
I'd see.

No meaning is held by light
Beyond shadows, sequence or shallow form
No release may grace the night

And screams my mind for sight
As limbs for rest in brutal storm
No meaning is held by light

As time drips too slow to fight
My eyes from life to numbness torn
No release may grace the night

Blind, I stumble from love into spite
And flail through wire and thorn
No meaning is held by light

But though my life is finite
I will not let them mourn
No release may grace the night

Is there any greater art but to write?
In darker times ink kept me warm
No meaning is held by light
No release may grace the night

The first settling snow,
Came late this year,
And the usual dancing was muted,
To little more,
Than a sway.

Once exhilarated,
Our feet this year,
Are heavy, placed and firm,
For no reason more,
Than fear.

A whisper,
When I rest in your arms.
A thank you,
As we sway to some far-flung,
Dream of a song.
A promise,
As you tightened your hold,
And as you did I felt,
Safety,
All fear, all tension,
Blurred from focus,
Until they were no more,
Than background.

In this house,
We all scream,
No future,
The world is over,
But nobody noticed.

On this floor,
We all dream,
But no truth,
The end is here,
But nobody cared.

In this room,
We all cry,
No solace,
The present is frozen,
But nobody was looking.

In this life,
We all die
No escape,
The date is set,
But nobody will know.

When her words fade into the echoes,
The whispers of night take their place,
They gossip with tongues made of shadows,
And snarling they spit at my face.

When her smile has escaped from my sight,
The wheels of my iron heart slow,
I lose faith in the promise of light,
And reject every reason I know.

When her hand has dropped back to her side,
And ended its too-swift goodbye,
My wish and my choice must divide,
I won't be with her 'til morn's sleepy eyes.

I am told to hide,
To keep me safe.
To protect me from,
The hateful spikes,
That already smother my skin.

For their sake,
To simplify,
So they won't be confused,
Or so they won't disown,
I keep truth muffled within my heartbeat.

To make it easier,
I live this lie,
Allow my soul to weep,
In silence.

As the seasons change,
I cannot.

I can never flower,
Never blossom,
Nor cast aside my past.

Instead,
I allow my true face,
To be covered,
As snow blankets the ground,
(Or once did).

Instead,
My own character is frozen,
In place.

For I am told,
That to live safely in the dark,
Is preferable,
To living freely in the light,
Because that way:
"You won't get hurt."

Well,

I would take,
The pain of whatever tortures,
The human mind can design,
If it meant I could be,
Who I am,
Who I want to be,
Without deception,
Without fear,
And without compromise.

But that is not good enough.

So I hide.

I tried to resist for so long,
I did! I promise I did!
But the grey will not fade

And the clouds will not part,
For more than a moment,
Before thunder returns

And the pain is constant,
As the tapping on my wall,
As the dark when night breaks day,

And it breaks me again,
Shatters my mind so I cannot
Even think of what words to say

And though I cannot write with ink,
I must write with my blade,
Or my blood.