Head tight, closing in, And losing focus, Hearing muffled, Underwater, And struggling to breathe, And sinking in air, Losing balance, Red and green flashes, Cough, Retch, Almost gone but, Not quite.
One need only look to the four winds to find four frowns; eight sad eyes straining to see through stained glass tears. The man said "I die daily" but he didn't have a constant stream of status updates to maintain. I define myself daily. Being special has thus far not protected me from the unbearable weight of today. All of the analog cigarettes and old fashioned daydreams in the world cannot save me now. If I'm not seen am I really here? Heavy hearts and weary heads reside respectively in the chests and on the necks of everyone I encounter. The gas station attendant feels empty and is bereft of a sense of irony. The world ends not with bang OR whimper, but with a deep and baleful sigh... with a deep and baleful sigh... with a deep and baleful...
Today I saw a picture of me in your jacket and my face fell down like rain I just can't stop the racket replaying in my brain Thrown away Thrown away I'm not broken Daddy--please Why did your love for me fade... Nineteen days ago I tore myself from you Like the soft side of Velcro Healthy enough to get a clue Because you stopped calling me "baby" You started to be grumpy Didn't try to talk to me All you did was touch me In front of your friends like-- Like I was a prize Which I sort of liked but Then I realized I became a body for you Your way to accessorize And now you're fine Even when I said goodbye My voice was shaking Even after the news Of you with her Because I didn't want to hurt you You were the boy who Was better than the ones who bruised me And abused me You used to hate the ones who used me I don't know where your heart went I held on so tight But it slipped away What didn't I do right? I'm haunted by The best memories of my life I never thought you'd be added To the faces that scare me at night You protected me Scrubbed the dead skin off 'Til I was squeaky clean And then you started making me feel ***** The worst part Is that I feel guilty Though you broke my heart I'm just wilting Like some stupid flower You picked Not because it was special But because it was crying Please leave me alone Stop visiting me I'm supposed to be safe at home Please, please I can't wait Until the day I stop loving you And the things you say Today I saw a picture of me in your jacket And I wondered as I prayed Why I deserve The racket in my brain