Government. Of. Discipline.

Old and New testament

Jesus , jes means we or yes, yes us…

Jesus= yes us, we the children of G. O. D.


Je: noun. : something (such as an appealing quality) that cannot be adequately described or expressed.


Wish: verb. :feel or express a strong desire or hope for something that is not easily attainable; want something that cannot or probably will not happen.

The G.O.D didn’t stop after publishing books, they realized brick and mortar guaranteed profits, why stop at 25% from taxes when they can get another 10% in the baskets!

Money is the root of all evil but yet every bill states  “in G.O.D we trust” along with slave owner faces…

But yet the Washington Redskins was racist… they took their land and now their team, I’m not sure Commanders is any better… Commanders killed Indians… OFFENSIVE

Teachers taught Christopher Columbus was a hero not a murderer and ******.

****** is still doing damage, World War II is still going on look at all the SUPER HUMANS aka ****-heads… a special thanks to Japan, this recipe has been delightful.

“United We Stand, Divided We Fall” As 2 parties go to war breaking us apart in an effort to pick 1 leader…

Sin a result from forbidden bitten fruit, ironic how 90% of us have sin in our pockets…IPHONE

G.O.D has us paying monthly payments in order for us to be heard, recorded, tracked and followed.

When it gets really bad dilute the pain with a dozen cold cans of overpriced poison.

There’s a tax for everything you need, want and purchase… even our property and shelter…

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

don’t worry if you’re short this month just raise your debt ceiling… but yet the G.O.D has the real HollyWood spreading lies with the fake news  designed to divide us all into labelized categories.

Banks get robbed because banks are robbers, double digit interest rates hurt just as bad as bullets, 7 year terms feel like a life sentence…

At best you live 10 decades, why do we give a **** about the stuff that doesn’t really matter, time is the most valuable resource but we allowed them to confine us…

8 hours to sleep, 8 hours to work, 8 hours left of the day and all it really is “ Home, car, gas station, work, lunch, work, home and every single thing listed came with TAX!!! MoNoPoLy .
Pass go pay G.O.D $200

Done for now, to be continued…

Born to a non ****** Mother
A Father just wasn’t present
So no one to give me up
For the forgiveness of you
There was no manger
Just a backseat of a car
Nor any wise men
Just really abusive ones
But none of this means
I still can’t be a son of God

I was never nailed to a cross
Just physically hit a lot
Nor did I ever help the blind see
But I do try to create awareness
I’m not always willing to forgive
Everyone who wrongs me
But with time I do try hard
To make things right with them
But none of this means
I still can’t be a son of God

Amidst a life of exposed lies
The truth lay hid beneath
I prayed to be forever healed
Confused about having faith
The answers I tried to seek
Seemed like a hopeless wish
As my words fell on deaf ears
Or so I thought back then
But none of this means
I still can’t be a son of God

An Angel disguised as a lover
Captured my soul and demons
Teachings of love and values
Built with efforts of compassion
A connection like never before
I felt safe and secure with her
My first time experiencing that
But a pandemic hit our love
But none of this means
I still can’t be a son of God

Creating a void between us
My angel decided to move on
I laid weak, hurt and insecure
With no one at all to turn to
All alone drowning in my sorrow
Feeling like I had no one at all
To turn to or to lean on anymore
Fears of myself becoming toxic
But none of this means
I still can’t be a son of God

Our Heavenly Father
Has no prejudice nor type
For his blood was given
For that of our forgiveness
With no pre qualifications
For all, his hand will reach
If they seek for him to claim
All it requires is love and faith
Regardless your faults or sin
Your invited , He who takes all,

Your Heavenly Father

https://m.soundcloud.com/robert-grove-821180401/he-who-takes-all-mp3

Problems patiently wait,
Solutions constantly await.

We have options,
We have decisions. 

              K   in the   R
           R                      O
       O             ?               A
    F                                     D

If you need saved,
then why do you remain the victim?
If you need saved,
then why don’t you become a hero?

A whole life affected from only one decision,
A lifetime of patterns broken from only one decision, 
A whole life resurrected from only one decision.

One decision doesn’t need to fix every single problem, 
One decision doesn’t need to fix every bad habit,
One decision doesn’t need to fix every past flaw.

One decision can and will become addictive and lead to other ones…

One decision can and will provide strength and courage to ones mind…

One decision is all it takes to change your life!

We focus so much on the BIG PICTURE, Overwhelming!

We focus so much on trying to get results overnight, IMPATIENT!

We focus so much on everything and everyone else, DISTRACTED! 


Equal days and nights to combat the past time we have already spent in-order to overcome the Mental-Damage!

it’s not fun.



              K   in the   R
           R                      O
       O              ?              A
    F                                     D

                S   E    L   F
                    T       O
                  A            V
                 H   O    P    E

HOPE FOR THOSE THAT CHOOSE
SELF-LOVE

Within the brain
Amidst the pain
Frequencies fade
Signals lost

Within the heart
Amidst the pain
Messages fade
Signals caught

Between the two
Amidst the pain
Thoughts fade
Signals gone

Within the soul
Amidst the pain
Decisions fade
Signals torn

Within my life
Amidst my pain
Life fades
Signals ignored

Lost between three
Past, present and future
Stuck in the middle
forever between the two

Trauma, trauma, trauma
Self defense mechanisms
Insecurities and flaws
Mental disadvantages

To put in simple terms
Feelings form into words
Confusion the product
The solution yet to be discovered

“I keep looking”

At 30 years of age
I still remain chained
To a childhood
Black Plague
Looking back now
I see all the mistakes
I feel sickened by the acts
I cannot believe I missed
THE OBVIOUS
But it wasn’t me
AMIDST the PATTERNS
High-school dropout
Teenage pregnancy
16 year old dad
EMANCIPATED
runaway
Paternity established
GED obtained
Working 2 jobs
to provide for them
My girlfriend and son
She left me
We separated
She cheated while I worked
I guess it’s boring
being home alone all day
Custody battle
We share joint custody
no child support order
WE ARE EQUALS
Co-parenting now
for going on 14 years
A failed marriage of 7 years
I went through
and when she left me
I went off the deep-end
GONE
I MOVED TO VERMONT
after working a sale there
I lost all communication
with all my loved ones
4 months of this
living astray
out of a suitcase
working non-stop
I crossed paths
with my last love
We locked eyes
and they never separated
I moved in with her
and together we
helped each other
My son Nick
came to live with us
She made me
a better man
she gave me
PURPOSE
She fought me
tooth and nail
For she knew
I needed to prevail
From past pain
from a current brain
from a heart crushed
from loved ones hurt
She fought me
but no-matter what
I REFUSED to
OPEN-UP
Until it was
TO LATE
Nick goes back
to be with his mom
in Indiana
I stay back to
figure things out
I move out
We try to
work things out
Failed attempt
after failed attempt
We finally gave-up
Amidst Covid
with no job
I go crazy
within
MY THOUGHTS
Her words
replay in
the back of my
MIND
GET HELP
Im drinking heavy
to drown the pain
afraid of possibly
a necessary CHANGE
REQUIRED ?
I fall back to
an old acquaintance
I remember my previous
HEARTBREAK
POEMS ON A WEBSITE
From 2014
now it’s 2020
I reset my password
and make a new login
COSMOFUNNEL
I start identifying
my past troubles
dissecting them
inside and out
Writing every scenario
I can remember
day in and night out
NONSTOP
THE THOUGHTS KEEP
COMING
MY MIND FEELING  REFRESHED
With each escaped memory that was trapped
From the time I wake up until I go to bed , I am drinking and writing poetry from my childhood past
My identity then
REBORN-ROB
freestyles, narratives, tragedies, romance and every other style you can think of
All wrote in blood from a kid trapped within my skin
I even started to freestyle RAPS
knowing through my journey I learned one thing and that is to just let your mind release things freely without attempting to dilute the feelings or emotions and afterwards listen or read back and you will
LEARN SOMETHING
ABOUT YOURSELF
Everyday I felt a change taking place , clearing space amidst my mind
My brain retraining itself to not be such a bad guy
My heart starting to desire change from hidden bitterness to calls of forgiveness wanting to be ANSWERED
THEN .... came a dream
MY GRANDFATHER YELLING AT ME ....GO HOME !

Off to Indiana I go , against my wishes as I’m now forced to face the culprits that created
THIS VICTIM
But to be close to my son
it MADE SENSE as I want to be for him THE SUPPORT I
never had in an EFFORT
TO BREAK THE PATTERNS
FOR THE FUTURE
GENERATIONS
AND NOT JUST ME
therapy sessions now along with poetry still , music still being made , exercises still being played , SUPPORT IS
STRONG
But now it’s
TIME TO MOVE ON
RIP REBORN-ROB
He was just a character made up to help ACCEPT the bad
CHILDHOOD MEMORIES
In an effort to heal from
the pain I was a victim to
for many years without
knowing although showing
THE CONSTANT SYMPTOMS
     So I deleted the profile along with all 450 poems ! They are no longer serving a PURPOSE they have achieved their goal
by helping a trapped boy inside a MAN LET GO AND GROW
now it’s time for other traumas , habits and vices
That’s where Shallow Waters
came into play
Shallow meaning I’m able to stand , I feel it’s possible unlike before when I was in the
DEEP-END
So yes my name is Rob
technically
Robert James Grove
but that’s the end result
as that’s who I will be
WHEN I HEAL
FROM THE FLAWS
I WAS GAVE , and I WILL
but until then
I REMAIN
IN SHALLOW WATERS

Drowning
in past sorrows

Head
barely above waters

Struggling
just to survive

Fearing
for my life

Body
becoming more weak

Energy
depleting very quickly

Why?
I ask myself

Viewing
the light above

Bright
like the sun

But
it isn’t it

Rather
the bathroom light

Broken
and very insecure

Fears
create false situations

Imagination
runs with it

Caged
Within our heads

I grasp for my last breath
as I look down and the reflection of a chrome plug catches my eyes

I am in control and I do get to decide , as I pull the plug and the water slowly pours out from the drain

But wait , this isn’t the tub nor am I in the bathroom, quickly I realize I’m in the ocean and it was a piece of jewelry that caught my eye

I’m totally submerged under the water and the sun is beating down as the rays create lines pointing up like an arm reaching for me , calling my name ....

I go to kick my feet to swim to the surface, the sand crashes between my toes and consumes my heels as I feel so confused my legs extend up and I stand

I’m in shallow waters and I realize it’s just another panic attack  as I take a couple deep breaths , my mom calls from the shore “ son are you alright “ I pour out in tears crying uncontrollably

Yes  mom , I’ll be fine

...K
   N
HOW
   W

KNOW
        H
        Y

    K
    NOW
    O
    W

KNOW
N
O
­W
L
E
D
G
E
           A
KNOWLEDGE
           L
           O
           WEALTH
           S          E
                       AND
                        L
                       IT
                        HEALS
                                ­  T
                                  U
                         ­         D
                                  YOURSELF

Birthed a victim,
raised a suspect.

Trauma,trauma,trauma

To their hands,
from their hands.

Pain,pain,pain

Heartbreak inevitable,
heartbreak forever.

Hate,hate,hate

Mentally, physically,
physically, emotionally.

Abuse,abuse,abuse

Self defense mechanisms,
self sabotage mental illness.

Aware,aware,aware

Life is patterns,
patterns are life.

Broken,broken,broken

Safety required to grow,
safe environment necessary also.

Grow,grow,grow

People make mistakes,
God made people.

Forgive,forgive,forgive

If not yourself,
no one else you can.

You,you,you

If you cannot,
don’t feel bad.

YOU’RE NOT ALONE,
alone I remain.

Me,me,me

For some pain cannot be overcame,
for some pain like mine.

Tough,tough,tough

It’s not my fault,
fault I cannot change.

Past,past,past

Pain,pain,pain

Tough,tough,tough

Me,me­,me

You,you,you?

Aware,aware,aware

Trauma,trauma.trauma

Hate,­hate,hate

Abuse,abuse,abuse

Broken,broken,broken

Forgive,forgi­ve,forgive

Grow,grow,grow!

YOU’RE NOT ALONE,
nor am I!


Same words, different order, new pattern, new love
BREAK PATTERNS

I don’t have to keep what I was given,
my inheritance was all trauma.

Hereditary flaws the cause for poor choices and decisions.

Not one healthy leaf on the entire family tree, I had to branch off.

Free finally gaining the courage to flee, I couldn’t save them all.

I saved myself, I had to cut all ties in order to fix my life.

It’s not their fault, since grandpa left the whole family fell apart.

He was the glue keeping the house of cards from falling.

It’s crazy how one person can have so much wisdom and power.

Resentment arrived the day he died and made it clear it was never going to leave.

Every scar has a loved one’s name, blood hits harder than water.

Lost sons and daughters, cousins incarcerated from the patterns.

Being a good uncle or aunt doesn’t make you a good parent, I know.

Ever since that day I gained the courage to step away…

MY LIFE KEEPS GETTING BETTER!  
One chainsaw, one big bad tree filled with generational pain, one emancipated teen who desired something better…TIMBER.

They all had to be dead to me in order for me to live!

Canvass
        /||\
      brush
      hand
     ARMS
eyes    eyes
                                        ART
eyes   eyes
    ARMS
    hands
    brush
      \||||/
   Damage

Canvass
        /||\
      brush
      hand
     ARMS
eyes    eyes
CONTROL
                                        LIFE
eyes   eyes
    ARMS
    hands
    brush
      \||||/
   Damage
REGAIN

Death has knocked on my door many times, so often we actually became quite good friends.

And although we haven’t met in quite some time, our last visit Death made it very clear.

“It won’t be me that takes your life, but that decision will be yours.”

Death has knocked on my door many times, so often we actually became quite good friends.

And although we haven’t met in quite some time, our last visit I heard Death’s advice crystal clear.