Standing on hardwood
Staring at the Rock in its ocean’s
Place
It fills the picture window
Yet all I see is your
Face
You were the decor
A room never needed more

Joshua ~

I used to believe that pain had
some kind of cosmic
threshold

could only go so far then strengthen me
making me
bold

I've been branded with a much deeper, darker,
wider, weeping & gnashing of teeth
type of pain of which I thought was
reserved for an un-earthly
hell

Now I know it can exist
long before death so far as I can
tell

As my adrenaline skyrockets,
My palms sweat profusely.
Telepathic audio clips play,
While I sift through personalities
to find what suits me.
They say that there're
plenty to of fish in the sea,
So I avoid the bottom feeders.
Yet I'm an angler,
about as ugly as can be.
Though all fish wander,
Some swim too deep.
I managed to scrape some of
The common sheep.
Slyly swimming swiftly Sleek,
By producing a lumen ornament;
I hypnotize the weak.
Awestricken by the allure
I use the light as a shield.
Yet cloaked in darkness,
Oh what such
a deadly weapon I yield;
These are Examples of actions,
Executed for meals.
Like the ornament's prance,
Or death's Dance.
Incomes a new victim,
If I wanna slay this hunger here's my chance.
Have you ever heard the saying don't step into light?
Swim too far,
And you'll see these teeth tonight.

Can a guy ever fantasize,
Without being criticized?
As he looks off at the distance,
His goals are seemingly within reach.
So he takes off,
He sprinted.
Funny because what he's after is really just a peach.
His footsteps repeatedly replicate.
His coordination? pristine.  
Faster and faster as he reciprocates,
Lifting one foot, he leaped for his cuisine.
The peach?
Cliffhanging by a swift stem awaiting its savior. But then the wind blew,
changing its behavior;
the peach now dangles eccentrically,
And the man you see...
He missed a few meters.
So he landed face first in the dirt
So forcefully
He slid into the tree.

I can hear you reaching for her
In all the things that you don't say
Not to me
Without words
I am screaming that I am right here
But you never seem to hear me

I understand, I understand
How many times do we understand
Before the pain actually stops?

You said you don't write
Because of a love lost
You don't have to be honest
For me to know you do
But you don't have to lie
When it's written across everything

It's not your fault
No, it's not your fault
I thought at times you were just vacant
But now I'm realizing
Your heart is just already occupied
Maybe It feels like I am on the outside
Because there wasn't much room
for me left over

You are the best thing
That ever happened to me
But while I dream about our future
You dream about the past
And waiting for someone
Doesn't ever guarantee
their heart would ever choose me

In my heart I want to marry you
And Yes, I know
that can't make someone love you any more
I want to have your children
I know you'll be a great dad
I know you'd fall in love with them
Yes, everyone knows
having a baby Can't make someone
fall any more in love with you
At least I can say It's for the right reasons
Even if dreaming is going to hurt me
Does love make me stupid?

I'm never angry at you
I understand, I understand
I just needed you to be honest
Tell me where do I stand?
You tell me that you love me
But it's so easy to lose my balance
When I dream about you
While you dream about her
I don't want you to want me
Because it's easier than being lonely
Tell me you wouldn't throw me to the wolves
if it meant you could to have her back?
Tell me you're not going to leave me
Because heaven sounds better
Tell me where do I stand
And what do I do with myself
What do I do?

When I said I felt like a ghost
I never meant that I wanted to be one
They say do wait,
but don't wait forever
How do I know when to stop
When I love you enough to spend my forever

How do you love a widower
Without breaking your own heart?