Its funny how detached you can be,when from the start you tried so hard not to be.
How at the start you thought you had everything. But in the end you realise you're left with nothing.
You notice the subtle ways you've been deluding yourself. Trying to fit in, neglecting what you already had.
Regrets engulf your heart at the very end, you try to turn back time but your pride stands in your way. Pride, pride, selfish sadistic pride.
You realise you're left with nothing. No one. You drop that facade once and for all but you now know its too late. You tell yourself to hang on now, that things will get better. But will it?
Death arises from an unexpected place and you're sorrow filled. You look around for someone to help relive that pain but there's no one there. You sit alone in your room writing this, deluding yourself once again that speaking to yourself will rid of the demons in you that speak of pride and unimaginable 'strength'.
You step aside and then realise.
You're nothing.
Loads been happening recently and im just.. sick of the world. Tired of myself really. 10 years mounted up to nothing anf it hurts. My gramps just passed and everything is just too much and i have no one to talk to which is ironic considering how i spent 10 years trying to find a friend i could confide in. Now i wish i had gotten over my pride and just apologised for all the mistakes i did or didnt do cause it would have been better than now but its too late. Everyone's moved on. And im left here ranting.