A moment, a day, a month, a year
I don't have it in me to care
Perhaps I cared too much
That much is clear
Too little too late
I was always here
I'll keep living
In this glass globe of all I've ever feared.

In my hallowed keeps I roam
Never knowing if the path I'm on is right or wrong
Only discovering when I step on
It is both and none,
Libraries of old
Holding stories never told
Walking the halls and rows
My cup overflows
As I drink from what I've always known,
My soul is busting these bones
I know I'm heading home
The compass points north
To the lands in which I've grown
As my journey grows
I write the unseen and untold
For anyone to see
It's time the stories are told
The oracles speak and minds are set free
Settle down and listen
To the Storyteller who has come to wake you from sleep.

I turned to see their distant faces,
My heart wanted to call out to them.
In my soul, family is all
But this is not home
And this blood is not mine to behold.
I long to hear them and belong with those supposed to be home
But they are not,
My soul reminds me every time.
My blood I know is home
But today, in this life
The ones of this flesh are not home,
Though I love them dearly
I know this red that flows
Only runs here.
Some day I'll go home
My blood will call to me,
And my aching soul will answer,
"At last I'm home."

A dream or nightmare I wonder to this day
Since I was young it's come to me
A man unlike any other haunts me
He changes form and so do the scenes
It's inception with turning streets and buildings with twisting peaks
In one he is fat,
Smooth like supple flesh
His weight deadens the air making it difficult to breathe
My limbs are heavy and I cannot run
The sound may be the worst
It dulls my ears as the drum beats down to my very bones
This slow torture is only relieved by another horror,
The man changes
He is no longer smooth and plump
He is tall and porous
Crackled like hollow bone
He is dry and his skin is brown
He is quick and chases me
Our surroundings crumble
Sharp, piercing sounds tear through my ears and jaw
This change may occur several times
The textures and sounds battling my mental grounds
At four this dream was frightening
At twelve this dream was a familiar fright
At seventeen the dream began to morph
At twenty it would paralyze me
At twenty-three I stood my ground and didn't flee
At twenty-five it haunted me in the moments before I fell asleep
Now my hands and legs become foreign to me in twilight sleep
A reoccurring dream
It's grown with me
I wonder if I'll ever figure what it means.

I saw the barren street,
Full of empty sound.
Children looking for some place to be,
With no one around.
Such a proud people once roaming free.
The marks you left on this land are clear.
I see it on the rocks, etched in stones.
A wisdom forgotten,
Of stars above and seasons long ago.
Now that's slipped into eternity,
But I still see the proud gleam
When you sing,
The chant a rhythmic pulse.
I feel the dance of your feet against the ground
And I know this empty land still calls you home.
I smile when I hear your drums
To a life buried but not gone.
I live not far though this is not my own.
This land knows and these mountains speak,
The red of this ground flows in you,
Children of the ground.

I write things that feel right
But often the memories don't line up
I wonder why
In dreams my life speaks
Of horrors and pleasant things
Gripping a rifle at the bottom of a hole
Buttoning a child's coat when she's cold
A secret life that isn't mine
Yet is just as real as tonight
I wonder why
These memories are in my mind
I write of many lives
And I'm starting to think all are mine.

I like to write
Sometimes I stay up all night
Maybe it's an obsession
Or I spend too much time inside my head
It's always been my place to go
The silence never bothered me
In fact I never heard it at all.
My mind has gotten full
So now I come to express
All the thoughts dancing in my head.

I walked in the hills by my home,
I heard a whisper in the trees and stepped closer to see,
A vulture talking to me.
"Do you think they know?" He asked as I watched him pick flesh from bone,
A carcass decayed and old.
It was a sickening sight to behold.

"It shouldn't bother you so." He said.
"The grass and trees. Do you think they know?" He asked again.
I shook my head, confused.
"Where the soil and nutrients come from in which they grow?" He asked

I listened to this bird as he scavenged from death.
I thought him mad,
But as he spoke I saw the wisdom of his words,
"Dead things come to grow and life never goes."
I watched him eat his fill,
And it was no longer ugly but a beautiful thing.

I walked away wondering if they know,
If any know how we grow.
From soil on mountain peaks to the river that flows,
Death is only fear of change from what we think we know.

Whistle, breeze and blow
Full of words and promises
Some are sweet, others cold
Some sting and bite
Others are wise and old
Hear them all
But do not make them your own
Unless they sit right and speak to your soul
They often whistle, breeze and blow
But it doesn't always make it so.

Walking on air tonight
Steps mere breaths of mine
Lights of all colors reaching out
Playing life like a dance
Come dawn this will pass
This gentle rise of floating mass
Will plummet back
To winter's sun and cradles dust
Slipping on skin, like a glove it fits
Muscles twitch as sleep lifts
Wake for another day
To work and play
Looking to sky and clouds drifting by
Remembering lights from far away
My soul wore a body today
But tonight it will not stay.

In forgotten light came birth
In cries and screams
It came to be
A mother torn of the child she bore
No father offering a home
Life was already worn
It happens this way
A child born but forgotten
Cries and fingers high ignored
The child grows hard and old
Before knowing why it feels alone
Looking for why
Finding no answers in the world's eye
Until the day the whispers came
Speaking of love in a distant place.
The child goes searching,
For a place calling its name
Of family who never gave it away.

My mind fizzled today
Hasn't been at it's best for many days
Thought I'd write and found myself rambling
Until I read the last line did I see there was a method to the disease,
I thought myself empty until I saw my face complete with neither love nor hate in my company.

I saw death today
It roamed the halls and walked away
I asked why it didn't stay
It said it isn't a hunter looking for prey
Or a scavenger seeking decay
I said I've seen it come on better days
It shook its head and smiled my way
"I only come when life is ugly or has gone away.
But not today.
I'll be swift on that day, I never care to cause delay."
It walked away and I counted the steps it took on its way
So I'd know when it comes that it's my day.

I write because I've had enough,
Of days and nights above
Drowning me with no love
Asking for more when I gave enough,
For blood, sweat and years
Every knock at the door,
Asking for a little more
I choose not answer anymore
I've had enough, you hear
Push anymore and I'll surely swing
I don't live an angry life
But do not think me weak
I do not hold the fears you breed,
Threaten with death or poverty
I do not care,
I do not bow,
My enemy is mine,
There is a darkness in me
And I have made peace with it, you see
If you have come to take,
I will make you bleed.

He came near from blood and bones I fear
Stalking through the streets he called to me
I told him to leave but he didn't listen to me
So I gathered my things and left this place
I heard him call my name and ask me to wait
He promised sweet things but I told him not today
He thinks me mad for acting this way
But I saw in my dreams and heard from the dead
Never give in until he sits patiently and offers you nothing you haven't learned within
So I keep moving without hesitation
Waiting for the day when he sits and asks me how it went
I'll say fine or some other line
I'll stop moving and sit for a bit
Ask if he's heard from my kin
I'll admit it's been a long trek and yes I'm tired of this skin
There were days I wanted to sit but couldn't quit.
He'll ask why now I chose to sit
I'll say I've known for some time life is a shadow but till he saw this was my life to live I had to keep on
But I'm glad he's here to welcome me, my old friend.
Death follows and calls my name
But I keep moving till the day he stops calling me home.

Turned myself inside out
Like a bag,
Looking for something lost inside
Handed out all the spare change,
Threw away the wrappers,
And bits of paper once important before.
Found a few IOU's,
Stacked away from many days
I should cash them in
Give myself the time.
Getting a little worn,
Time to have some fun.

It was a difficult place to go,
Some old friends hadn't made it out.
Perhaps now they have. She thought as she set the flowers down and whispered their names.

A little boy came up next to her,
His face was smudged and his shirt was torn. She picked him up when she saw his tears. She asked if he came alone. He wiped his tears and nodded solemnly.
"Don't cry little one. This is only temporary." She said.

"Do you have any family here?" She asked. He shook his head as his lips quivered. She held him tight and hushed his cries.
"You'll stay with me until they come." She promised. He placed his little hand on the watery wall in front of them. Flowers and notes lined the vast wall as far as the eye could see.
"What if they don't come?" He asked
She smiled and looked at the roses she had just left. Yellow just like her mother loved.

"They always come. One guarantee about the living is they always die. We'll see them soon enough." She said as she held his hand and led him away.

Empty nights
Followed by pleasure
When bodies crave another's embrace
To stave off loneliness like a plague,
Finding a moment among the hours
Days passing into years
A life built of memories in passing.

People having grown from children
But knowing none the wiser
Still in need of mothers and fathers
In a world unforgiving.
Operating amidst the layers
Life and love can be sold for a dollar
Hidden behind screens of mass expression
Are the delusions of our acceptance.

Still seeking meaning amid thorns
****** hands haven't shown anymore,
Wash the blood
Let the peroxide sting and foam.
These bodies demand attention
Forsake them and they'll trouble you till the grave calls you home.

Moments of meaning are all we seek
When the aching heart is answered
It grants sweet release
In pleasured moans or dying throes
Sounds of our loneliness escaping in the night
As the joker deals the game of life.

Like a painter with a fresh canvas
Oils waiting and brushes ready
A writer uses words to convey,
The feeling of a spring day and the heartache of a lover gone away.
Stripping the feeling to write what is overflowing inside,
A writer writes.
On a later day if they chance upon their work they read what once was said
An emptier version of themselves now that the feelings are dead,
The words are hollow until they read the stains,
What wasn't said and left for imagination's sake.
To write and never know if you'll feel the same,
A hollow pursuit to tether a writer in place.
A reader becomes what the writer said and more importantly didn't say
They feel as the writer once did,
Passively undertaking words from another's heart.
A writer dies a little in each write but come the day when the body goes,
They come to life.

I give it away
What once was said
In the dark of night
Under sleeping skies
As honest as the words may have been
You said it was your dearest truth
But I saw the flicker in your eyes
So I wondered but disregarded why
I shouldn't have
If my heart didn't trust you
Neither should I.

A fair green brooke
A gentle place
Steep in cliffs and mountain hooks
Nestled down in a valley of little space
Sits a town
Old and new
With a sky of grey and fields of brown
The air is wet from dew
What a place
It almost feels like home
But it only has one road
Once you go you never leave
So I gaze from the hill
Wishing I could travel down
Knowing once I did that would be it for me.

Vapors of breath coalesced as dew
Crisp pain sears the chest
Cold breath in the night
How I wish for some warmth tonight
A weight pressing down
Is this my dying sound?
Breath escaping in silence now
The burden of these days and nights
Proof of growth or pain, I don't know
Sensitivity blind
I am afraid and it's been heavy as of late
I look up at night
So the stars will blind
The cold inside

If you could take it all away,
Would you?
Every regret and hurtful thing?

I look at them some days,
Finding them disgusting in every way,
But if I wash them away,
Scrub the pain till it's raw and fades,
I find myself staring at an empty space.
A bitter thing to find,
That your suffering was by design.
Leaving no choice but to make a place,
Build some sturdy shelves
And embrace the pain.

It makes you whole,
Defining you in little lines
Of how you love or hate,
If you can lose or find peace in simple things.
I'd keep them all,
Every hurtful thing.
Fill my shelves
So someday I can count how many times I fell to my knees,
A library of my deceit.
Written in books I'll feel complete,
That my life was a challenge and not once did I give up on the journey.

I’ve never smoked a day in my life
But today I could breathe that fire one time.
Don’t care about looking cool,
Those aspirations are long in the review mirror.

They say grief is a sacred giver,
But today its hung up its visitor sign
And its settling in.

One breath of fire,
Isn’t going to solve a thing,
But it might make the ache spread.
Make my lungs feel like one exhale,
Could blow it all away.

They say grief fades with time,
But today the future doesn’t mean a **** thing.
Hang the noose of hope round my neck,
I’ll wait this out one day at a time.

It’s quiet now,
In my mind the smoke rises above me,
A memory of what I thought would be.
Come to me sacred grief,
I’ve got no light but I’ll pretend,
That I could smoke this grief into yesterday.

Skin with skin
Holding tight like it was the last night
Said you sleep better when I'm by your side
I ward away the sleeplessness
And demons of the night
You watched me breathe
Worried when I shook
Little did you know,
I had my own battle to fight
My peace that warmed your eyes
Was something earned every night
I never asked for you to hold me tight
But I needed it all the same
When the demons of the night come
I'll help you fight them off
I've been to this place
The demons know my name
War leaves scars
I know
I'll stay by your side
When the day comes I lose my fight
I hope you'll be by my side.

Come to empty your soul
Of its wants and needs
Pay with your desire
This is Walking Weep
Where talk is cheap and the band never sleeps
Take the left road there
Right after the willow tree
We sit on the crossroads of hell bent and apathy
Have a drink, it's free.
Sit on down and tell the barkeep,
Whatever keeps you from a good night's sleep.

I came into this world as refuse,
Loved by a few.
They clothed me in white
And told me to be obedient and true,
If I was perhaps God would remember me when it's through.

There are some things you should never do,
Break a child is one, someday I'll tell number two.
I say this now as one who knows,
I'm no longer little or innocent
But I won't lie and say
My heart doesn't still shiver
When I'm reminded I'm refuse.
Thrown away and shredded in white
I no longer suffice
It's bitter and untrue
But all those years of guilt and Truth
Have burdened me,
So at twenty-six I feel ninety-two.

I can't shake this burden,
I'm too scared what will happen if I do
So I smile and nod,
Saying all is well and how are you?
My white clothing is in shreds
But don't think I've forgotten how it wears.
If one thing they taught me it's how to punish myself.
I was born into this world as refuse,
Loved by a few
Perhaps one day I will too.

Earthquakes came
Decent size they say
Broke the angel's cry
Dropped the trumpet from his golden hand
Probably a sign
It matches the mess of things
Even religions don't know what to say
Schools are closed and churches are empty
That's a sight
This town is full of both
They're on every street
Wierd to say
But I think we needed to breathe anyway.

If you speak the same to prince or pauper every time,
               Honor will walk beside

If you walk with dignity even when life is disgraced and your burdens are too great,
             Strength will be your mate

If you give your all even when you think you'll fall,
               Greatness is your call

If you are humble enough to think you are small but never kneel to a mighty man's calls,
               Slavery's walls will fall

If you love with no fear and let yourself experience tears,
      Regret will never mark the mirror

If you can have and lose without becoming bitter,
          Freedom will be in your eyes

If you look up, see the stars and wonder who you are,
           Curiosity will take you far

If you've seen the slave and carried all he gave,
              You've seen a better way
          
If you walked away from power because it didn't set right in your bones,
        The time comes for you to lead

If money never held your eye because the value never matched inside,
             Wisdom will have its day

If you fight when you've been beat too many times,
              Your spirit never dies

If you do not bow when authority becomes tyranny,
             Revolution is set to rise

If you've slept in the dirt and brushed it away the next day with no shame,
          Nothing stands in your way

If these are things you crave and they are your way,
      Humanity will step from the fray

I’ve seen the day,
Coming down the road,
Scribed in my dreams,
Lived in my nightmares.
I’ve always seen,
My ghost of a soul,
Has always known,
And it whispers to me in the dark.

For whom the bell tolls,
An answer hits the mark.
Voices call me home,
Though I squeeze my eyes shut,
All I see are lights
And visions of afar.
Silver bird of light,
Screaming in the dark
Of places beyond heaven, hell, and earthy might.

Why do these plague me so?
I’d ask if any were perhaps to know,
Though the answer already lies in my soul.
It is for me to know,
To dream,
To live the hellish scapes,
To see beyond winter’s end,
And summer’s embrace.

With utmost care,
I transcribe these things,
Perhaps for no one or posterity,
For simple insanity,
And for all those who cannot breathe.
This isn’t for me.
I’m here only to see
And perhaps write these wordless things.
Come the day I journey across the sea
I’ll send a dream,
To the ghost of me.

There is a head over there
Careful where you step
Oh yes, watch out for that ditch
Horrid place, lost a night or two in there.
Mind the flying imagery
They'll pick you up and take you for a wild ride.
Like that skeleton over there?
I'm working on its flesh.
Books are scattered everywhere
Feel free to pick one up and read
There are copies of comic books, history and poetry.
There are a couple of dead horses over there, beat them if you like.
Don't let the ghosts frighten you
They are characters who haven't quite found their heart beat.
Don't stray too far
There are a few wars here
****** things you aren't ready to see.
Sit down and have some tea
Let me tell you how you came to be.

I didn't cry that day or the next
I never do
I'm ashamed that way.
As I've grown I know I loved you dearly
And even today I wish you were here
So I could say all these thoughts of mine.
I think we probably shared these things
But back then I was only fifteen
And I didn't know how to speak my mind.
I've learned now you knew and felt these things
It may be the blood we share
So I write this for you grandfather
As I write so many things
Of the day I saw you go.

I don't know if you knew I was there
I saw your children cry and grandchildren too young to know
I know you knew, when we last spoke
That you had to say what was on your mind,
When you told me to never quit
That I was better and to remember this.
So I say this not in tears, but with some pride,
I never did and I remind myself sometimes,
Of a man I knew who was kind and burdened in ways I never knew.

I didn't have the words to say that day
But now I do, it's taken some learning and truth.
Illness took you too soon,
This broken family still needs someone like you,
I know why they say the good die young,
You were burdened but never stooped,
And I dearly hope you knew how much I cared for you.

There was a dark place,
A little hole I called home,
Just for a night
It sheltered me when I was cold,
I dug deep just as I was told
Keep your head down I heard them say.
I watched as the stars above fell
And fire rained
From my little hole,
One by two,
My hole in the ground.

The hills are cold
Winter grows
Moon light touches snow
As another season goes

This land knows
Of every secret told
And life that's grown
Since it holds every bone

As I crouch down
I place my hand to the frozen ground
Knowing the plants will grow
From seeds sewn

I marvel at this place
A friend of old
Who's always home
Who takes me now and when I'm old

Basking in the sun
Every day it comes
Bathing in the moon
Whether quarter, half or full

I take a breath
And smile
Grateful
That for now I call this home.

She walks through the streets
Her steps echo from the taps of heels on concrete
It's long gone dark and everyone's asleep
The moonlight glistens on her cheeks,
Her mascara has run clean.
She stops under a street light
Her shadow is facing the wrong way
A muffled cry escapes her mouth
And she begins to weep
She's already wept many times tonight
Her tears seem to find no end
"Come with me my dear." Said a figure in black as he wiped her tears.
She whimpered as her body released one last shivered cry
I watched as he led her away,
A beautiful woman
Even as a ghost she seemed alive.

One went away,
In love and heart
He left a ****** trail along the way.
Another passed like a ship at night,
He wished he could stay
But the army called him away.
The third has yet to capture me
My heart is locked away
But it will return some day.

Bottom of time
Working clocks a simple lie
Gravity descendent upon our lives
Answers raging in our minds
Never to the questions we desire
Breaking Fate's design
Hoping we'll outwit time
Our hearts and minds were not built
To die and pass without light
Folding space
Creasing our lives
Sandwiched in dimensions
Of reality's escapism
Gravity transcended time
So we reached back and saved our kind.

Do you despise
What is wise
Empty your mind
Of thoughts of every kind
Blues and greens
In a ring serene
Eyes of crystalline
Gazing at the signs
Ask what you already know
To confirm what's inside
Speak of divine
The oracle peers one last time

The shelves are empty
The streets are filled with masked panic
Everyone is afraid of the unseen
But a bit more by the chaos it's causing
TP is the new gold
Rice and beans are the foods of kings
A chuckle at first followed by worried grin
A virus throwing us amuck
It didn't take much
We didn't have far to fall.
Enter one, enter all
To the throne room
A porcelain throne awaits
Absent a square of paper
Not a roll to be found
The first world falls.

Languages die and the faces change
Names fall away and cultures die.
Once we worshiped gods,
Now that's changed.
When asked of the divine,
Our answer was simple on the divide.
Gods never die and men always do,
So raise your glasses of wine
And drink to our dying kind.
The mortal life is fading light,
Greeks and Romans knew this plight
As did many others who lived this life.
No matter your race or creed
Let's dance one last time.
We have the fate of dying,
Each and every time.
For the undying watch,
In grim murmurs
Of mortal life.

It slithered black, purple and cold,
Against my soul.
So cold it burned as acid etches stone.
What horrors fill my soul?
Changing shape to fill any void.
Spiders, oil, squid, and smoke.
Coming to cloud my soul.
Try as I might I can't **** this thing.
It darkens my door to settle score,
Of some deep fear.
I burned it last night,
But it slithered back to the recesses of my mind.
It's made a home and I wonder if it will always be so.

Hallowed wind
The storm begins
The windows creak
The timbers moan
As this house shelters alone.
Clouds blowing in,
Wintry snow falls slow
Waiting for the storm to blow.
Shaking the trees
Dusting the peaks.
Windy nights
Wrestles snow from its clouded home.

It comes by
Passing time
Telling stories of yesteryear
With a gleam in the eye
And scathing wit for the blind.

Look at life this way,
A simple lie told at night
To children who have never seen the light
And wonder what it must be like.

A wanderer once came
Speaking of foreign things
Perhaps the madness is true
And the watcher watches you.