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Broken Promises — a poem by Olivia
They hand me empty promises and lies
like gauze for wounds that are only slightly recognizable.
“You're a fighter though!” they say,
not realizing how much they’ve hurt me
with their actions and their words.
I slowly decay,
yet they say, “I’ll pray.”
But praying won’t help,
because you put my “cure”
out there like fixing one thing
will heal all the blurred lines
and begs that are yet to be heard.
You can stitch all my scars,
you can place gauze over bullets,
but that doesn’t fix all the outside and inside hurt
that’s tortured me behind more than just caged bars.
You pretend some don’t exist,
thinking changing one thing
can fix the rest.
You mistake my frustrated silence
for invisibility —
as if I don’t exist.
Everyone believes a “cure” or a “small fix”
can relieve some pain.
But the days draw long,
and the pain lives on.
My body is hurting
in more ways than one.
No one is listening
to the full story.
Am I not important enough
to get the help I need —
to literally survive
and keep going?
I feel like a burden
when people truly listen.
They try to help,
they try to “heal,”
but I am too far gone.
I’m the storm
raging in my own body,
leaking small streams
to be “discovered.”
They patch me up,
thinking one change is enough,
until I boil over
and yell, “I'VE HAD ENOUGH.”
When I blow,
I'm told,
“It’s your period,”
or “If you work on your anxiety, it’ll all go away!”
Yet YOU are the one that betrayed me.
YOU make those comments.
YOU think I WANT this?
I want my life back.
I want to live.
I want to exist.
I want to do everything
Everyone else can.
I wish I could eat
the biggest bowl of pasta
with tomatoes right now —
but It hurts.
I wish I could have something carbonated…
BUT IT HURTS.
I WISH I COULD LIVE PAIN FREE,
BUT MY BODY IS BREAKING ME APART.
I FEEL LIKE I'M FALLING WAY TO FAR!!!
I don’t want this life.
Someone, please hear me.
Every time you pretend to listen,
to hear,
you miss the end.
I’ve written it out before.
Your broken promises —
“Everything’s going to get better”
and “You’re a fighter” —
aren’t enough.
I know you’re trying.
But I’m falling apart.
And your broken promises
will never be enough.
I’m a burden.
I understand.
But please listen anyway.
My wounds are deep crevasses
that aren’t fixable
by a band-aid
or some gauze.
Please look at the full picture,
and don’t look at it
like there’s just one cause.
My body is like shattered glass
piercing into my soul.
My mind is a tornado
I can’t hide from.
They hand me prayers
like shredded paper
that’s supposed to “shield the pain,”
but it’s all in vain.
They always admit it’s easier
to patch a crack with a band-aid or gauze
than to fix the gaping holes
that are spewing thoughts,
pain,
shouts,
pleas for help
when no one is listening
to the true pain.
They say words like “strong,” and “fight,”
“Brave,” “Bold,” “persistent,” or a “warrior”
like those are the things
that will make it right.
But they say that
so they don’t have to sit
in the blood, sweat, and tears
of my broken body,
my storm-tossed mind,
the wreck inside me.
Those times in those offices,
while they spew how I should change.
But when I try to put those in play,
It's a grave mistake.
The clock ticks slower,
my mind races fast,
thinking one change of a medication,
one simple diet change,
will help all of these facts.
I won’t stand for people like this.
I want to live like a normal kid.
I want to exist.
I don’t want prayers.
I don’t need sympathy.
I just need help.
Please don’t give me broken promises.
I need more help
than what’s been given.
I’m not a lesson to be taught
on how to appear “fine.”
I’m not your charity case
holding a briefcase of lies.
I am HERE —
bleeding,
breaking,
falling apart.
Are YOU finally listening?
Don’t act like you know how to fix me.
Don’t act “smart.”
Just support me.
Will you be my support buddy?
Can you help me?
MY EVERYTHING
A Poem for Toby.
—————————-
My Everything,
My ray of light,
My beam of sunshine,
My love at first sight.

My baby boy
lays here to rest.
His eyes—sunken—
pain taking him away
from being his best.

Golden fur, fluffy tail,
a smile that lights up the room.
No matter where,
a heart so big—
it ignores all the creatures,
except for bees, which he tries to devour.

My baby boy
used to chase us around.
Never interested in sticks,
but a ball—
is where he shows his favorite tricks.

You have all the cheer
in each little bark.
When we play tag,
you’re always near.
I know how much you’re hurting,
but I’m always here.

Sunlit trails, cloudy night skies,
rainy days, and a fall surprise.
You walk along these woodchip paths,
always loving walks—no matter the path.
A loyal friend,
always by my side.

You bark and guard our house
from “dangers” outside.

Footsteps come,
or a car pulls in.
Your voice yips
and barks—
so proud,
so loud.
So spunky once—so full of life,
a burst of joy, of sunshine, of light—
no hint of strife.

Then cancer came... the tumor too.
It hurt your mind,
and body too.

Your eyes hold gentle rain—sadness—fear,
as you don’t know what’s coming,
and we don’t either.
Your heart beats brave and strong.

My love will last forever,
even when you move on.
I hold your paw,
I hold your head,
to try to take the weight off
from your shoulders.
When you so tired,
And ready for bed.

Each day is a gift,
a chance to love, laugh, and lift.
I thank you for every smile—
you’ve made my life better, so worthwhile.
So rest now, my dear baby boy.
In every breath,
Love is what we give.

Illness might dim the light behind your eyes.
You might be hurting,
not ready for the next surprise.
But you are forever—
My duty is to love.


Toby, I love you to infinity and beyond.
You, my everything.
May–when you go,
Fly pain-free like a dove.
The Sunshine Stingray
——————————-
A shimmer of glitter,
in the clawing waves of the sea.
A jewel of light,
a candle of hope,
stingray’s grace
letting me be me.
Birds take flight
above the deep, dark waves,
hiding secrets underneath —
betrayals and caves.
I used to get trapped.
Lungs burned,
feeling like fire colliding into my ribs.
Legs flailing,
giving up when I had nothing left.
Water up my nose, in my mouth —
choking, pleading for help.
I couldn’t swim.
I was tossed and toppled
into the bruised sea,
dragged underneath
like someone was pulling down on me.
The sky was so dark,
like a brewing storm.
I had prayed for light
that never came.
But now I’m leaving my mark
on the golden — in my stingray.
Beneath a new dawn, a glow lights above.
The bruised and battered sea— fights,
tossing me off course,
so far.
I felt like I was flying
out of a speeding car.
My wings spread wide —
golden glitter over pale skin,
covering fading gashes
like a tarp.
Trying to stitch light into the wound,
trying to patch up my past
with shimmer and silence.
Even though I know
I didn’t earn it —
because I didn’t fight back.
Still, the warmth of the cloudy sky
and the new sun
offer a kind of mercy.
Night meets day.
The fire is no longer ablaze.
The sky is a glass mirror
beneath a veil of shaded fog.
The clouds hide only a little of the sun.
I dive down deep.
I’m not afraid anymore.
I know I’m loved —
I’m strong.
I can fight through life,
evermore.
Corals play and dance
around the sea,
like lanterns swinging
in a breeze.
The sun finally opens
for all to see.
The fish come out —
not scared, they don’t flee.
The colors of the coral
light up and ripple
through the fading darkness
of the sea.
There’s peace at last.
Land ahead —
reefs open up,
ships rise to full mast.
The aftermath
is broken and ******,
but scars slowly heal,
one step at a time.
Day by day,
the stingray glows
brighter than the start
on our new starry night.
The sun leaves the softest ray.
A candle still burns.
I’m rebuilding my life,
hugging with the ocean —
a true embrace.
I’ve left most behind,
leaving hurt without a trace.
Day turns to night.
The world falls silent.
Waves lick the sandy shores.
Seagulls go hushed
as they fly back home.
The deep, battered, bruised
fades into space — and time.
Now meant to be left behind —
crevasses of empty holes
that never healed.
Empty words and prayers,
never answered,
now lay strewn… sealed.
My stingray glows
through its pain,
its shame
for not being who it is,
for not being brave.
“It’s okay to be afraid,”
people say —
but what they don’t realize
is the world is eating fear.
So I’ve learned to steer clear.
My light now shines.
So does my ray.
The storm and sea now fade
into what life is — into infinity.
A sunshine grows
as the cloudy sky subsides,
and I’m slowly becoming brave enough…
to be myself — and try.
My ray is new.
Glitter is what it holds.
And holding onto more,
underneath it all —
is hope.
“What is the sunshine stingray?”
you may ask?
Well… it’s me.
Starting life over,
day by day,
night by night.
Pain, bruises, storms —
I just wait for them to subside.
I try my best
when that’s what’s asked.
I put forth my effort,
to love myself during my worst,
and learn from my mistakes.
I’m human.
So when you see that shimmer,
when you see a sunset or sunrise,
or a stingray gliding below —
a survivor is moving free
from chains
that once held it taunt.
I will try to live,
in the life,
of the sunshine stingray —
and hold onto hope,
no matter the days.
I’m reborn,
alive,
glowing,
grounded,
Free,
My life.
My sunshine.
My stingray.
The Sea That Sparkles
A poem
——————————————-

Sunlight spills like melting gold
Pouring down on velvet-like sand
Running through my fingers
Sifting through my skin

Each shell
Brushes along the sandy shore
The waves licking the surface
Like little puppy dog kisses
showering the sea

The lighthouse shines on the glittered sand
just right
And the birds whisper
As they fly

Above the watercolor of sea
Tints of all colors  
Open into a valley of water
Full of life swimming bout
The sheltered coral
Drifting to stay upright the in shy waves

The sun
Like gold jewels
Of a gorgeous dream
The clouds of new themes arise from the
Crystal sky
Cotton candy clouds
Fill in a small space

Distant murmurs of
Tides steady tune
A salty-sweet tang mix
Fills the ocean air
A faint scent of seaweed, and flowers
Scatter the sea side  

tiny ***** scurry around the sand
Forming little shadows
And hiding in the crevasses
Of watered down rocks
Foams lace the water
Like fabric scattered
After a storm

Light bends around the horizon
Filling the sky like glitter
where the sky meets the sea
The little things that sparkle
Is the beach
And I let it consume me
It’s always my dream
It’s who I am
The little things that sparkle
Shows me
The sea
I am NOT my old self
A poem- By: Olivia Williams
——————

You still blabber on,
as if I haven’t changed yet.
You’ve bended the way I've grown  
You’ve put out my steady fire—
my true flame—
When I fought to make that new one,
In the first place.  

You think I haven’t mended
You think I won’t have “bad” days
You think I’m still following all the demands,
That old cycle,
The betrays,  
And my old ways.
Down the worn-soaked path of love and hate.


I am fighting for independence,
I am fighting to be free,
Sure, I've made mistakes!
BUT that SHOULD NOT define me.

I am strong enough,
I am loved enough,
I am brave enough,
I am outspoken,
I am ME.
mistakes shouldn’t be the “NEW” me.
I shouldn’t have to mend,
To be the daughter,
You wish I could be.

I'm admitting to my past.
I've made lots of mistakes,
I’ve had to learn the hard way,
I accept my consequences.
I am old enough to recognize,
That I'm being hurt,
And I should be stronger than that,

It’s funny how you remember the worst,
When I’ve already changed.
It’s funny how you can recount,
ALL my mistakes.
It’s funny how you pretend it still affects you,
It was many years ago.
Or how it might have been a month ago,
But you won’t let it go.
You pretend my worst is all I am,
Like I’m just a pessimistic kid.

you still haven’t seen,
All parts of me.
I'm MUCH more than that,
I still keep secrets,
The good-kind at least.
Like the birthday surprises,
Or some of my beliefs.

Believe what you want,
Replay what comforts you,
When you fall asleep at night.
DON'T expect to see the girl you think of,
Because I've been more than ”changed”.

I’ve outgrown my old skin
Reshaped my life
Like a mold
I’ve risen above the stars
When you look up
You won’t see one tiny star
You’ll see a galaxy of light

I’m NOT my old self
And you should know that now
I want to be better
So..come..join me now.
Preview -
OF “CEREMONY OF COLORS”
- THE SHORT STORY-
— — — —

In this town each person has a color that means what rank or position they are in society. They get their color when they turn ten,but one family has an unknown gene discovered after an accident that created a baby born with a unique color. How will they be treated?How will they ever fit in? Who will they become? And what place are they truly..in society.
——————————
“COME ON, EVERYONE LET'S GET TOGETHER BEFORE THE CEREMONY OF COLORS!!!” Jack yells

“COMING” yelled the group in unison

“Trinity are you…ok?”

“Yeah…just a bit nervous.”

“You know you don’t have to be, you’ll be yellow! I’m sure!

“Really…you think!?”

“Of course! Now! Come on, we're going to be late!”

She smiled as she watched him sprint away from her as he yelled to Mark.

“EVERYONE PLEASE QUIET DOWN, THE CEREMONY WILL START NOW!”

Everyone hushed and the auditorium creaking was the only sound, an eerie one at that.

“WELCOME to the ceremony of colors!”
(Clapping consumed the auditorium then quieted, as if practiced)

“First we will call your number on your black t-shirt and you will come up to be scanned!”

“Alicia Robens, number 1!”
“Jack Macalom, number 2!”
“Mark jackson, number 3”
“Hannah Kendrick, number 4!”
“Greg tanker, number 5!”
“Frida Carlson, number 6!”
“Esten brand, number 7!”
“Danika Jenkins, number 8!”
“Penny render, number 9!”
“ Anderson king, number 10!”
“Wesley Ansikten, number 11!”
“Zing fredmend, number 12!”
“And lastly…..”
“Trinity sandman, number 13!”
All thirteen of you have reached the age of ten and are now ready to receive your colors. I now invite ONE parent from each child to come up to grab the scanner to do the honors of revealing their place in society, their color, and their job in our town of…. Malloryville!”

Each parent stepped up, grabbed the scanner and positioned themselves in front of their child.

“NOW, WHEN I SAY “GO”, YOU WILL SCAN YOUR CHILD WHEN I CALL THE NUMBER AND THE AUDITORIUM WILL GLOW THE COLOR THEY GOT AND SO WILL THEY I WILL IST RULES OF COLOR THEN WE WILL COMMENCE.

RED-DOCTOR- BRAVE BUT KIND
ORANGE- FIREFIGHTER- BRAVE
YELLOW-GARDNER- GENTLE AND KIND
GREEN- CARETAKER/TEACHER- CALM AND RULE BOUND
BLUE-POLICE OFFICER/GUARD- LEADER AND DETERMINED
AND PURPLE- HOUSE BUILDER- STRONG AND BRAVE

“NUMBER 1!” (Turns yellow)
“Number 2!” (Turns green)
“Number 3!” (Turns blue)
“Number 4!” ( turns Orange)
“Number 5!” ( turns purple)
“Number 6!” (Turns red)
“Number 7!” (Turns blue)
“Number 8!” (Turns red)
“Number 9!” (Turns yellow)
“Number 10!” (Turns purple)
“Number 11!” (Turns orange)
“Number 12!” (Turns green)
“Lastly! Number 13!” (Turnsssss.. GOLD!!!…”
“***!”
Everyone goes quiet in shock
Many run out of the auditorium
“IT'S TRUE!…YOUR…YOU’R.”
I remember…
———————-
I remember your slobbery kisses,
That covered my face.
I remember your hugs,
To which you spared no grace.
I remember your eyes,
So full of life,
And your smile,
That even with bad breath,
Would light up my world.
I remember your tail,
That would swing,
With joy at every little word.
And how you’d tilt your head,
Whenever we said something you loved.
The word “treat” would bring joy in your eyes,
And your legs became spunky,
As you bolted to the cabinet,
Or when you chased your favorite toy.
Your ears would jump,
As you were to catch your ball,
While you sprinted to chase it,
And prevent it from escaping to the woods.
I love you Toby,
I’ll always remember,
I know you don’t have long.
No matter what,
I love you always,
And I always have.
With everything that happens,
No matter how vocal or mad you are,
I’ll love you forever Toby.
Past infinity.
Past and past,
So very far.
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