Numb
Light a match and youre free
From hands once woven
tightly round your neck.
You can escape for a while
Laugh and smile
Like nothings wrong
Let go of all thats going on;
I try to escape too
But when I light a match
the hands squeeze tighter
Instead of coming loose.

I've been fighting
The devilish tongued liars
All night
With the door locked tight
Pitch black in the corner
Back towards the truth tellers
Who refuse to speak louder
Than the hum from a lightbulb
Thats filament has long since shattered;
I know its there
Somewhere
But its dark and my backs still turned
And my ears can only hear what has been said towards my face

You have to know
This sets me off
Into a never ending panic
You cutting me off
Short
Sending me away
Like before
No longer worthy
Of your thoughts
Or conversation even
What have I done now
Maybe
I am
Too much
To handle
Too clingy
Too needy
Too ****** in the head
And I've trapped you in the corner
With my constant problems
And need for you around
Me
I am
The cause
Of all
That is wrong

So

D i s t a n t

Is

what

I

Will

Become

Friday
spent between bent knees
consuming the evening sun,
whiskey,
and burning skin among the bursting bubbles

Saturday
spent behind locked doors
consuming the razor blades,
40s of *****
and the pounding and pleading of them

Sunday
blurred
once in warm arms
then on a cold floor
consuming bottle after bottle
more whiskey
and charcoal

He makes me thankful
for my sins
my **** ups that led me
straight to him
the months I bled
all suddenly seemed
so much more
in the end

You're impossible to resists
as you lick your lips
and look down at me, your prey
"it won't take long now"
you say with a laugh held back
hands quick to pounce
and reach for the ripened fruit
ready for your picking

She enjoys the confined space
and the long lonely hours
spent inhaling day old hot dog fumes
underneath flickering florescent lights;
With pen in hand and pad nearby
she scrambles to invent new lives
for strange passerby's
as they buy their coffee
and expired chocolate candy bars