I can't make my poems rhyme
Or flow
Like I wish I could
My brain just
Spits my thoughts out
Onto the empty paper
Like my brain is sick with all these thoughts
And this is the way to get better

When does it stop
When does being lost in translation stop
When does the reality of temporary become permanent
And reality a finality of time
When do shadows stop eating at the nothingness of everything
When do the questions stop and become the answers
When does relief come
Or does relief just falsify into a cast of the illusion of okay
"When does it stop?" I ask you.
"WHEN DOES IT STOP?" I scream at the shadow of your profile in the depths of my painted wall
And my skin feels tight as it is suffocating my shackled veins
"It doesn't, does it?" I ask you.
"IT DOESN'T, DOES IT?" I scream at my shaking hands full of fury and broken glass
I said I was sorry, that I didn't mean it
You said I did, you said I did
You said it was okay, you said it's okay, you said it's okay
Okay is nothing but an illusion of this fragmented world
It's not okay.
It's broken, it's fury, it's shackled and turbulent
It's glass in my palms made of tiny pills
That cut my throat as I swallow you down
In hopes you'll love me again.

Time marches on
fleet of foot
regardless of hope
in spite of love
it's beat, unwavering
drowns out our pleas.

Structure
Puncture,
Leaves of blue and grey.
No one ever said
You had to be one way.

Apple
Laughter,
Hills full of green.
Ghosts of my forefathers,
Cringe when unseen.

Alone
Bone,
Catapult of love.
Sister Mary carries the cross,
As she releases the doves

Take
Bake,
Pretty red head.
All night I lay in the clouds,
Thinking of you in my head

Care
Bear,
Orange tangerine.
Love only takes you,
It doesn't tell you where to be.

Moving
Losing,
Brown paper snap.
Its fur is ragged and warm,
The pooch sitting on my lap.

Attention
Question,
Sirens roar in the streets.
The pavement shakes,
As a million faucets leak.

I breathe you in
The sensation of your love creeped out of my veins and into the fog
Creating a whirlpool of secretion
I cleared a path
The fog hissed
Never leave me
Your breath begins to trace my neck
I am escaping as fast as I can, through the faded night sky.
I breathe you in and out
The fog is taking over my lungs
All I can think about was eyes
How always turned *grey as soon as I said goodbye
Your lips stayed sealed as I reached out for your embrace

In the fullness of time I found a clear path out of the fog and into the light
"I should've left you years ago"

*I breathe you out.

You'll never be good enough
the blade says
as it cuts the wings from my back
the ones I used to think
could make me fly
you can carve perfect in your mind
as many times as you want
but it'll never seep through your skin
To perfume the air
the aura of ease
no longer does it come from you
How can I hope to keep up
when stars fall faster than I
And they know they all know
To catch you when you stumble
I wish they would turn a blind eye
Sympathy burns like rejection
And my blade is kinder
than their eyes

You give me
Such terrible,
Bone crippling
Anxiety
And it feels like
My heart
Is ready
To leap out of
My chest
Whenever you're
Around.

-e.w.