When I let you go
It felt like a hurricane trailed through my body
As if my heart had a cave-in

You said you were glad I was being mature about it
I know you were thankful for the sacrifice
And I know you needed time to fix your health

But I wasn't mature at all
Behind the apathy and silence
Behind the sweetness and indifference
I was watching acres of flowers wilt before me

All I could do was watch our garden die
Even though you never sprayed any pesticide
And there was no lack of water
No lack of sunshine or warmth
There was nothing wrong-
It was only the remnants of shattered hope that poisoned the soil and rotted the roots

I loved you like a melody loves to be sung
Like a poem loves to be read
Or how a performer loves the spotlight

I treasured you like a person treasures their first love
Like a dragon treasures it's jewels
Or how Yin treasures Yang

I felt safe with you like a child in their mothers arms
Like a Princess feels safe with her Knight
Or how a caterpillar feels safe inside it's chrysalis

I've missed you the way the sea misses the shore
The way a flower misses spring
Or how a caged lion misses the Savannah

I long for you like a droughted land longs for rain
Like an idea longs for creation
Or how pain longs for release

I fell for you like a raindrop from the sky
Like a tear from the eye
Or how a snowflake melts into a warm palm

And I'd still silence your storms
Make the world wait for you
Hold your hand till you feel fine
Change the darkness into a blinding dawn
Bloom a rose in the snow

But I walk away from you like a Knight swears an oath
Like a King protects his country
Or how a poor mother gives her child away

I crumble for you like a Kingdom turned to ash
Like a child under pressure
Or how sand falls through an hourglass

I sacrifice for you, like a lover for their beloved

She's a reflection of those who survived great pains
Shes what every person who's ever been hurt wishes they could have turned into
Turned their pain and bitterness into redemption and possibility as she did
Transformed their trauma and loss into kindness and dreams
But not everyone has a fairy godmother
Not everyone can hum and smile away the hurt as she does
But she smiles as if she didn't cry herself to sleep every night
As if she didn't wish upon every star to save her
As if she didn't beg her dreams to stay just a moment longer
As if her loneliness didn't drive her to madness as the mice and birds began to feel like family

But she gave them hope in ways no one else could
Hope that one day they can smile away every trace of a tormented past
Hope that one day poets will write sonnets in their name
Hope, it was her gift to the broken

I've never loved the story of Cinderella
She's a girl who is know for her courage and kindness
But I think she mistook courage for defeat

Courage is fighting for what you deserve, for what is right and just no matter what stands in your way
But she never did any of that
She slaved away for a decade, working her hands to the bone
Covered herself head to toe in soot like a cloak of safety
And she never complained

That was her version of courage
Accepting pain to avoid the discomfort or disruption of others by sacrificing herself
This is not courage, this is weakness

Cinderella should have thrown down her broom
Stood with her head high and if a hand were raised to her let her raise a hand back
Let her speak with defiance and justice
But Cinderella never did such a thing
She worked herself day in day out
And cried when the possibility of freedom slipped away

Cinderella was not the hero of of her own story
She was a girl waiting to be saved
She had no courage in her, only fear and helplessness
She may have been kind, but save herself she did not

Mental and emotional wounds are invisible, but a wound is still felt by those they inflict
Just like a tiny cut, you still feel the pain even if you can't see it
Just like the cancer beneath your flesh and in your brain, it still eats away at you

These are wounds that don't heal or go away if you apply pressure or put a bandaid over
There is no stitch that can put your broken heart and wounded mind back together
You walk with this pain
Feel it in every step and passing look

The goosebumps on your arms
The trembling of your hands
The darkness behind your eyes
The apathy in your voice
You can't see the wound, but sometimes you can see the symtoms

You can't feel the pain another feels
You can't see it but that doesn't mean it isn't there
You can't see a cough or a virus as it courses its way through your body
But that doesn't mean they aren't real

We carry these invisible scars with us
And they never truly go away or fade

Everyone loses their way
Lost in their chasmic minds
Lost in their bismol worlds
Lost in their abysmal emotions
Some find a light to guide their way
A melody; a sign; a feeling
Others search for a distraction
Someway to forget the failure and lose the guilt
But for me, Hermes guides my path
Like a soul into Hades,
He always brings me home
Back from my friendly worm named Loneliness
Back from my terrible sense of direction
Back from my endless attempts at self sabotage
He makes me see the truth; the reality; the destination

Everyone is all so full of deceit and corruption
Pleasing themselves by pleasing others
Becoming someone else to be above all others
Blinded by envy and seething with a jealous rage
They hold out their open hands to me
But he whispers in my ear
"It's all a lie"
And I keep my hand down by my side
And watch as they go to the next person
Holding their hands out just the same
And chaining the gullible fools with honeyed words and empty promises
Binding to them now like a contract over their souls
Enslaved to the whims of the corrupt

He has me dream of lands across the sea
Speaking a tongue that is not mother to me
I fall in love with these foreign things
The sights he sends me, the sounds, the smells
All the excitement of leaving to somewhere new
With no fear of the unknown, trusting only
In the path on which he guides me
I see it now, so far away
I reach my hand out and I feel it on my fingertips
I close my eyes and the words slip into my mind
With every phrase I learn, the freer I become
And I walk his path with knowledge I am safe

In meditation he guides me
On a starlit beach I find myself sinking my feet into the sand
Swiftly he approaches with a grin
He holds his hand out to me and I feel at ease
No strings or "you-owe-me's" await
And with winged feet he sends me back
Gently placing me in my body
And I awaken safe and sound

When our love died
It's blood fell into the blessed earth
And from that drop sprung the fauna of our hearts
Sunflowers and Primroses grew in every place we've walked
Trailing back to the deathbed of Marigolds, Pink carnations and lovely Chrysanthemums
But what only you can see
Is the trail of Forget-Me-Nots
Leading back to me