You've got my head spinning
But in a good way
Who is the being you see at night
Is it me in your bed
Or the other boy that's in your head
My life is turning to gold
The past me is coal

I lay in your bed
I am breathing uneven
You hold my hand
You whisper something under your breath
What was that you said

I am eternal I am the lion
I am not you and you are not me
We are we but who is we
We is whatever you want it to be
This is not the end it's just a redo
A beginning of a new you

I am the one you call home
When you've got nowhere else to go
I am a second choice to the voice of the call
Tell me do you see galaxies in my eyes
Or the dull sense of disguise

On the drive home
You tell me you love me
I don't believe you
Get the **** out of my car
I am racing down the highway
Going 200 miles per hour the wrong way
I am going straight through oncoming traffic
I hope someone swerves the wrong way
Forces me through the windshield
Bc I pull the e brake on my life
Stop

My mouth is bleeding
And my knuckles hurt like hell

I am whispering under my breath
And punching the air

I touch my nose and flinch
That's gonna take awhile to heal

I've been waiting 3 years to see you
How does that make you feel

You should see the other guy
He got taken out by ambulance

I walked through those **** double doors
That place was called "Renegade 9"

You hit me straight in the nose
It sent a chill down my spine

There's blood running from my nose
I can feel it's warmth on my lips
I am dizzy

I didn't even know the guy but he looked like he could pack a good punch
So I started flirting with his girl

That got him real riled up
He was at least 150 pounds heavier than me

My head is pounding
My ears might bust
I think I should probably rest but my legs won't stop moving

I felt like Rocky Balboa
I felt like Muhammad Ali

I was the next world champion
Or the next accidental death at the bar down the street

I lived 50 miles away
I am walking home

I am smiling
I am running
This is my life
I am alive

I do not feel like myself
I am not my own
I am no longer on the inside nor the outside
I'm just.. here
Or maybe there
My skin does not feel like how I remember

Am I a boy or girl
Does it even matter
Gender is an illusion that was pushed on us by our founding fathers
Oh how great they were

They brought us together from chaos
And we could never repay them
Do we need to?
Is that what is meant when they say to not sin?

What if God isn't just one person but an idea
An entity of a group
A feeling that exists in each of us

Today is a new day
And it's still gloomy as ever
The rain drips down my window
I blow out to see my breath crack against the glass
What is the point of redoing everyday
To grow old?
To get married?
Have a wife, kids, a family?
Grow old and wither away

I think that's the answer
We are all part of the cycle
Reincarnate into something entirely new but yet just the same
There is a point to all of this
And with these tears in my eyes
I'm yelling it to the skies

I've been up all night
But I guess you wouldn't know
You've been in his bed
Ever since our last fight

I guess that's it
Single love down the drain
Out the door in this snow
Do you feel my pain?

I'm not getting better
I'm just getting used to the idea
That I'm no longer yours
No one can make me feel like you do

We're just friends
But you still light a fire in my lungs
Make my finger tips ache
From not being able to touch you
They're scared of losing
And so am I
'Ha.. Terrifying'

So tell me
What do I do
Do I wait around for you
Or push you farther away
Don't toy with my emotions
I don't understand what you do to me
I can't handle it
I'm confused
I'll pretend again tomorrow

Fill every crack in my body with cement and wine
Sober me up with stale breath and cold finger tips

Sting my skin with the fire of your words
Make my insides spin when I think of our last moment together

I am breathless but yet full of energy
I am running but my feet haven't left the ground
I am spinning without becoming dizzy
I am without reason
Something you always taught me

Take my silence and turn it into a poem
Something that can be spoken to the heavens
Of higher power to be spewed upon them in a way that is inhumanly
I'll see you at the viewing
I'll be in black
You'll be in your best dress

It was so brief
Not even my eyes could've have caught it
Once there now gone

I am vain
I am emotional
I am king

I feel every morsel of my body tense up
I'm looking at your headstone
Counting the bouquets of dead flowers

You were my rain and shine
You were divine

I am the sign
Saying you're going the wrong way
Turn back now

I am crippled from the thought
I have a headache and this room feels smoky
There's strangers in every dark corner
You always told me not to be in these situations

You disappeared and I fell into the darkness
I am painless I am stainless
Many have tried painting there words into my skin but it's all melted away shortly after

The only thing that ever stayed with me was something you branded into my arm last summer

"I love you. I miss you"