Oh dear,
My imagination and fantasies,
Of you,
Will destroy me someday.

Though it has become voluntary now,
The moment passed without your thought
Feels most unnatural,

The celebration of you in my mind,
Is designing my shrine,
I keep you near in my heart,
Reality gave me a heart attack.

Actuality and illusion,
I'm in between life and death,
Still, I'm hoping for a slight life in death,
Though I'm aware of Destruction,
I choose to be buried in you,
Not the real you but Mostly how I see you.

I wish it were the real ghosts
which haunts me,
Instead of the thoughts
"You can't do it", " You are failure",
"Didn't I tell you it'll never work out",
" Just give up", "You are dumb".
My mind replays these at night,
My brain stops working and my hands tremble during exams,
I wish it were ghosts that haunt me,
But yet somehow I see some scope,
I believe in change,
My holy water is hope.