I want love that lasts decades,
and happiness that never ends,
I want to forgive, give, and understand.

I want to fill voids,
and listen even though the bad,
I want to be adored,
and wanted entirely.

I want to love another,
as much as they will love me.

I want to have a family,
and give my kids everything I never received.

I want to travel the world with one,
and create new meanings of life.

I want to love someones imperfections,
their flaws and past.

I want to live with a love meant to last.

You cut me wide open,
and were angered at the sight
of my healer.

I asked how to be whole again,
and they turned me to God.

I wonder what happiness is,
Because I do not believe I have ever felt it.

Is it the smiles that don't escape
and the tears I've never cried?

Is it the hole I feel within me
or the brightness at times?

Is it what I have been missing in life?

Is it beauty?
Is it trust?
Is it opposite sadness?
--Love?

Is is remembering the pain,
knowing something better came of it?

Or is it pretending the bad didn't happen,
as if a cure.

Is it why I'm writing my thoughts
and acknowledging what I believe is to come of life?

Or is it a subtle plea,
for more meaning...in mine.

Maybe
it
isn't
what
I
thought
it
would
be.

Do you remember?
When I told you about love?
and how I wanted to love you
more than anyone else has?

This
is
not
how
I
thought
it
would
end.

This is not how I thought it would be.

If you knew how much I loved you,
you'd never have to question it.

I
wish
things
didn't
have
to
change.

All this time,
and you still
don't
understand
me.

I'd tell of my love for your smile,
how your hugs are inviting,
your words of flattery touch me,
and your kisses I crave more and more,

If I wrote a poem about you,
I would speak of a bond being created,
that I only wished to have felt before.
A bond that is the beginning to *many, many more.

You crept your way into my heart,
when I didn't believe there was room,
for another to reside.

I loved you...
even though you were broken.
and what did you do in return?
you broke me.

We have an eternity,
I'll take my time,
with you.

I never knew what it felt like to be loved,
the right way,
I had been loved wrong,
until the day I met you.

It's like...
every time the person I love...
lies...
a piece of me...
goes
missing....

They ask too late,
how to fix me,
as if they don't know,
a broken vase,
no matter the mending,
will always remain...broken.

I spend more time,
Trying to find myself,
Because of you,
I always feel lost.

They think they can use me,
I'll show them.

When they said,
the good die young,
I didn't know,
they meant you..

You always knew how to move me,
captivated by your splendor,
I could watch a million skies set and rise,
with your natural beauty.
I feel safe with you,
lying on empty beaches,
with the sand as my pedestal,
and the ocean as my focus,
while your shadow falls over me,
your oranges and pinks touch me,
in ways I never anticipated,
you always knew how I was feeling,
you listened while I whispered my secrets to the winds,
how can I express my gratitude?
I am forever in your favor,
Sunset to sunrise,
I feel myself with you.

I wasted so many years of my life,
waiting for someone who would treat me right,
then when I finally thought I'd found someone different,
they hurt me all the same,
I never went searching for love,
I never want to love again.

It starts with blood racing to the surface of your skin,
As anger and sadness fight for the lead,
It is when your heart feels like a sinking ship,
At first it’s crippling.

It is fleeting emotions,
Fear,
Regret,
Mixed into a bowl of denial,
Because we never could believe our love would intentionally hurt us.

It is the tears that never cease,
Pounding within my chest of a merciless heartbeat,
It is the faint scent of hope,
As I wish the pain were a memory...

Instead my heart has been ripped from my chest,
Only to be taken by you,
Brought to the floor,
And stomped on til' dead.

A broken heart feels exactly so, broken.
It feels sadness—pain,
It aches for the happiness it once held,
It questions if the love is worth hanging on to.
But then shatters again.

Too many wrong choices,
On whom I've given my all to,
I gave my broken heart to you,
For a moment I believed you mend it,
Now I’m left alone to pick up all the damaged pieces.

Are you more afraid of being hurt?
Than you are of being alone?
I didn't force your guard up,
Why am I struggling to bring it down?

Everyone's falling in love,
and I'm left to figure out,
why everyone I love,
leaves.

Sunsets are most beautiful
When watched alongside
you.

These boundaries,
wouldn't seem so blurred,
if I dated a him not a her.

Write with no hands,
Taste with no tongue,
Speak with no voice,
Feel with no nerves,
Sense with no senses,
How can I?
I questioned...
Faith.
My life is in the hands of the poet,
Mold my imagery,
You hold the power of creativity,
Make me read,
Taste,
Hear,
Feel,
Sense,
You.
A black hole could be your refuge,
I promise to follow you.

I spent more time,
Adding up the things that,
Made me happy,
I hadn't realized,
The most important problem,
Was forgetting to subtract,
What was making me sad.

You'll be the only female,
she said,
--my first,
I already knew that was a lie.

I
tried,
but
my
best
wasn't
enough

I sometimes would wake up to an,
"I miss you text",
You'd say you love me aloud,
I wouldn't cry as much,
I wouldn't feel empty,
I wouldn't have to ask for you to tell me the truth,
You'd be happy when you see me,
You'd hug me and give a kiss,
Passionate kisses,
Meaningful kisses,
Not kisses that made me feel irrelant,
You would smile,
You'd touch me sometimes,
You would make me feel good,
You'd appreciate my body,
Maybe kiss me on the cheek while I slept,
My forehead or lips,
If you really loved me,
I would feel the love,
I'd believe I made you happy,
And that I was the one,
If you really loved me,
It would not have ever felt like this.

Empty,
Superficial,
Cold,
If you really loved me,
Why is it that with you,
All I felt was
**Alone.

If you fall in love,
with every person you date,
you don't know what love
really is.
Maybe you are just needy.

If you let everyone,
think they can have you,
I do not want you.

No More
Straight Women.

Stressful days,
become less stressful,
when poetry,
is your release.

At lease I know,
it is natural,
couples fall in and out
of love.

Why
the
****
are
you
still
on
my
page?

People don't change
They only show you
who they,
truly are.

Did you think
I would wait
Forever?

I thought it was my duty,
to wait for you to change,
I've spent more time unhappy,
By putting you before myself.
With you I feel trapped,
I need to feel free with someone else.

The taste of your sweetness,
Still lingers on my tongue,
I am an addict for your dew,
Remember the first time I pleased you,
The time my lips pursed between your folds,
That purr that escaped,
You knew I loved to hear you moan...
Then there was the silence,
You sensed what was in store,
As my mouth fluttered across your wetness,
and my lips engulfed your other lips,
You spoke and told me I'm nasty
But your taste I can't resist,
or how your diamond peaks at me,
Awaiting a tantalizing encase,
To be wrapped within my tongue,
Light strokes upon the center,
Twirling around the cape that no longer keeps it sheltered,
You hated when I teased you,
I could not resist when you said,
Please. Don't. Stop...
As if you knew being craved was my weakness,
I told you what you wanted to hear,
I'm not here to play games,
Firmly wrap your legs around my head,
Bring your garden to my face,
Every drop of dew is a present to my sheets,
Will you be my submissive?
I will handcuff you to the bedposts,
Before I let you run away,
I missed the way your body would spasm for me,
I promise to take my time if you honor me another night,
I only wish to say this blessing between heaven and your thighs.