Your perfect teeth and beautiful smile
Your freckles
Most of all
Your hugs
The feeling of melting in your arms
The smell of your curly hair
The warmth of your mulatto skin
The energy you would bring
The tighter the hold
The deeper I would sink

I Miss You :(

Is the view as gorgeous looking down as it is when I look up towards heaven?

R.I.P Beautiful

I miss you.
The sweet you
Caring you
Beautiful you
Gentle you
The kind you
Forgiving you
The you before you were broken
The you before you were stolen
Taken captive by those who are undeserving

I trusted too easily.
Will you please forgive me?
Can we start over?

I will spend an eternity picking up the pieces to make you once again whole.
I will be careful with you this time.
I will keep you protected.
I will keep a watchful eye.

My heart

Walls of steel will shield you.
I will barricade you by doors.
I will protect you with locks.
You will be secure.

You need not worry.
But you have to know when to let me go.
Release the mind-set of being numb
Trust me enough
To be careful with you
I will be attentive of who I give you to.

I will hold on to you
I know you are a little unsteady
But if you don’t release me
How will I ever find love?

I hate it
I hate liking people
I hate being vulnerable
I hate that I want you

I hate that you have power over me
That I don’t want you to
I hate how beautiful you are
I hate your perfect teeth and clumsiness scars
I hate your weirdness
And your awkwardness too

I hate your sarcasm
I hate your adorable laugh
I hate that your voice is cute

I hate how open I am with you
I hate that you are broken
I hate what you have been through
I hate that every piece of me wishes I could help you

I hate your accent
I hate your perfect hair
I hate your caramel skin tone
I hate your lips
I hate that I still want to kiss you

I hate that you are going to read this
Knowing I am speaking of you
No regrets for what I say
All it is is truth

Most of all,
I hate that I have to pretend
I hate that I have to conceal
I hate that I have to become nonchalant to the fact that I feel for you
So I will continue to hate all the things I like about you.

My eyes tell stories my mouth fails to speak
Words are a burden
When the causes leave streams of tears on me
It is all better left unsaid.

If I lower my lids will my secrets be safe?
Shut the windows to my soul
Keep them closed
And the awful memories be erased

Or will they come back to haunt me
Again another day?

When will I truly be happy?

The sweetest words escape a mouth full of lies
You think I am unaware
I see beyond the disguise
I know what love means
I know how love feels
I know the love we have
Just isn’t real

Stuck in the daydream
Of a hopeless romance
We started out perfectly
I thought it would last

The passion addicting
The *** –amazing
Your kisses breathtaking
But I was mistaken...
Your exterior perfection
The interior heartbreaking...

You are not who you say you are
My trust now abused
Drawing an ending sooner than we both knew

No more second
No more third
No more fourth and so on chance
My patience for you has now reached its max

I try to forgive
I try to forget
But you lie and you lie
Again and again
I believe you

The audacity you present
To look me in my eyes and say
I Love you
I Love...you
With a mouth full of lies

The facade of innocence long overdue
This deception now expected
Years you've perfected the craft
A true player’s form
Always sure to cover your tracts

But I was always two steps ahead of you
I had only turned a blind eye
Accepting less than deserved
Now I question why
I am finished now

No more second
No more third
No more fourth and so on Chance

Love does not lie
Love does not cheat
Love does not cause pain to extents I weep on my knees

But still I thought I loved you
I thought I needed you
I wanted you
But you are not the one for me
This love not pure
Tainted, young and naive

I too shall move on
I too shall love again
I too shall be happy and live with sustenance

Fall deeper in love than the earth’s core
Meet someone who digs deeply enough they find my broken soul
They will pick up the pieces to securely heal me
Then I will say honestly
To the love who is true
I Love you.
Sincerely
I. Love. You.