Sitting here alone by myself
Surrounded by shadows from the past
And ones that almost become the future

Yet, present is such a harsh word
The only N-word i hate is "now"
Even my pen hates writing it
My keyboard refuses to type it

Because now, we're stuck in the "now"
Now nowhere to go or to be gone
Nowhen? Is that even a word?
I don't know
It's equivalent with the direction i'm going
Forward/backward in space-time because right now, nothing is right right now.
Nothing is right but i'm no lefty
I can't write. About anything.

About you
About me
About shadows that sit next to me
About us used to
About us that almost might to

If I were you,
I don't want to be with me
Not even a shadow to company

If I were you,
I wouldn't be here
Even if it's imaginary.

i sent a leaf
down the river
it was easier than
folding paper boats
and
swimming
upstream

i watched it leave
down the river
it said goodbye
father rock
mother tree
and
cascaded
downstream

Life feels too heavy.
Too many worries.
Too many pressures.
Too many responsibilities.
Too many hardships.
Pain.
Despair.
Hope turns to despair.
Happiness turns to numbness.
Calmness turns to pain.

Too fast.
So bleed.
Bleed.
Bleed.
Till everything is silent.
But it’s not silent.
It’s not working.
Making me panic.
Why isn’t it working?

If I love you enough ,
my love will find a way
to your heart .

No,I don't believe in miracles -
it is my love
that I trust.