Windows show only crowded darkness.
Face lit with artificial light.
Keyboard clicks maddeningly in time.
A million thoughts
A thousand reasons
A hundred unanswered questions.

Who to blame for this night?
Was it me?
Was it you?
I don't really know,
I only know that I can't sleep
And I don't know where you are.

It's another late night.
Another hour passed, a minute gone, a day lost.
Without ever knowing why.
And in the Darkened window mirror, I see your face
next to mine.

And I wonder why.
Forever, asking why.

Worry not for
The man who freely sheds tears
In the face of grief and loss.

Fear, instead,
The man who feigns
Bravery and deference
In the face of sorrow and sadness.

It is the second man,
Who will act without emotion.
He will hold inside
The turmoil and sadness
Until it boils over.

Like a ticking clock counting
Down the seconds to the end.
It will be he
That needs the support the most.

In the face of death
We need one another.

When I crashed my bike in the driveway,
She was there.
When I fell out of the tree and busted my wrist,
She was there.
When my first love broke my heart into a million pieces,
She was there.
When my dog, my first pet, my best friend, had to be put to sleep,
Still, She was there.

Through every injury,
every heart break, and heart ache;
Through every day that left me behind,
and the problems that were always on my mind;
She was always there.

Now that I have grown
become the person she always wanted for me to be,
Now I know,
that I am here.
I am here for her
Like she was always there for me.

For you, mother, I will do anything.
For you today, I say this:
Happy Mother's Day, I love you with all my heart.

"******, I am certain I have a reservation here"
"Sir, I think maybe you have a stay some where near?"
After this latest crazy guest, I'm gonna need a beer.
Check everybody in.
Throw more towels in the bin.
Out through the door, let out a cheer.

I want you to know me.
I want you to here me.
I want you to feel me.
I want you to love me.

But there's some things you should know....

It won't be easy.
It won't be simple.
It won't be every day that you find me perfect.
But hopefully
It will be worth it.

I think you should also know...

That I have hated myself
That I have wronged myself
That I have hurt myself
And if you hurt me
Then I won't be able to do this anymore
I won't have the heart to keep going.

But most of all....
No matter everything else...

You should know that I love you

It's okay
Once in a while
To have to let go.

You want them
To stay
But some people can't.

Some people need to move on
And you should too

I cannot help but blame
Myself for every time you've failed.
I cannot help but blame myself

For every time I've held you back
For every time I've let you down
For every time I've been the issue
For every time you had to pick me up
For every time I was at fault
For ever one of your failures

I cannot help but blame myself.
I should have been stronger.
I should have been better.
I should have been more capable.
I should have done more.

I gave up on my life because it didn't seem worth it. Now you're giving up on yours
Because you've followed my example.

And so I'm blaming myself. I'm hurting myself
Because I did this all to you

I blame me.