How do I know when I’ve reached my mind?

Such intelligence is not something you build but a substance you find.

Enlightenment is found on a retreat from sustained ignorance and conformity.

No separation can be made on a common path followed for such a path is taken normally.

How do I know when I’ve had my day?

Acceptance of uncertainty, to surf is to be constantly prepared, should this be my wave.

Gravity is the same irrespective of perception, views created by man attach balloons to the grounded.

The day you look like you’ve lost your mind to the masses, you’ve finally found It.

When we’re coloring we don’t always stay within the lines.
The painting of our lives often leads to colors we never thought we’d find.
I cried, a lot, while you assumed I was obsessed with unknown hands & salary ranges.
We’ve been taught life is a paper & pen where we don’t get to make changes.
One of the most puzzling experiences is looking through 100s of pictures wondering where the love went.
But I guess when we take the air out of something we don’t really get to vent.
It’s not always so obvious, still the trombone still needs the sound from the piccolo.
Everyone sees the art on the wall, never the countless hours in the studio.
You can’t erase a crayon, but we can choose to keep coloring, keep adding colors.
Grey skies can’t wash away the colorful schemes we created for each other.

The canvas did wash away, that’s true.
But why let them say I painted nothing for you?
When I painted any dream you wanted me to.

Presenting to a room of hundreds has ceased to be a challenge, writing has become severely easy.

I’ve submitted to my generosity, I’m closer to giving all away than the ability to be greedy.

Spiritual discipline would be an underwhelming description, I’ve incinerated my former self.

Minimalist is an identity I can claim, a high earner inhabiting a dorm with shelves.

My daily duties for my career are child’s play, thus there is only one challenge in my life I can find.

Oh does this fill me with unbearable joy, for It is the outlier on the list, a simple matter of time.

Thus, my script is not egotistical, such is not my kind.

I am simply observing that all in my life but one thing, has risen to accompany my level of rhyme.

So, Give It time.

If when we die we leave earth indefinitely, we’ve been given our own forever.

For the loss of breath is the gift of the inability to dislocate all the things we worked to put together.

Our efforts will be etched into the nickel and become ours for all time.

The inability to see time pass is equivalent to It stopping, my forever, I am obsessed with mine.

Even some efforts extend beyond our moments, what admiration I have for those who invented the sail.

Here is the wind, we can’t see or control It, as It comes we shall harvest that, we can prevail.

Isn’t that life? The luck will come and go, I must fully harness a way to make such a force my slave.

Fulfillment and peace, the only two things God will allow us to bring to our grave.

Uncertainty is my friend, money is something they print, when I list all the blessings God continues to send,

I see reality is something he meant for me to bend.

"Would the Wright brothers have succeeded if they obsessed over wealth instead of how to produce the first plane?

Desires have become a disease, content is being shared by those not obsessed with the domain.

Societal driven reaches for recognition, money, or status; these are all productivity flaws.

History is littered with the truly passionate, those obsessed with their domain and it's laws.

You hear the difference immediately between an artist who loves to sing and someone who had to make a song.

Ironically, all the things people chase in life are natural symptoms of obsessing in a place where we belong.

Einstein dreamt the theory of relativity, Tate McRae & Ryan Tedder wrote, produced, and laid hit song "Exes" in a mere 30 minutes.

True obsession can not be faked and it's all that can sustain you once you're in it.

Those who do not love the domain, may get the rewards. Novelty will then wear off and they'll begin to search for something else.

Psychologically, to be miserable is the same neurologically as thinking about yourself.

I’ve begun to slip into madness.

Reminders of society bring about thoughts and stomach sensations that kind of feel like sadness.

They’re more reminders I could become sad but It’s a distant yet familiar hole

It’s like glancing through prison bars separately me from my soul.

However here I must remain as I chase my dreams in my self manufactured exile

The obtainment of true freedom, ironically requires one to be locked away for awhile.

I’m starting to believe summiting Everest is all about grip.

That’s the thing about going to the edge of reality, you just might slip.

The suspense of impending insanity perturbs me,  so I dive forward full force.

Freedom I preach, the path however, I do not endorse.

I don’t take any of It for granted, not one minute.
Not even the days It seemed like the food came w/roaches in It.
I just got this, how is It already bad?
We put things down & forget what we had.
Don’t let It go over your head.
But if it’s not supposed to why do they call It under stand?
Glass half full. Lemons to lemonade. At least I’m not at the back of the line.
Never noticed those who turned their back because I was behind them the whole time.
If no one ever broke It, we’d hand It over wrapped with a ribbon.
Just to say thanks for giving.
& when my head doesn’t work, thanks for forgiving.
The days we wish we weren’t here, love feels like thanks for living.

Well, such an embarrassment are the occasions when my ego grasps and glides my pen.

But I grow increasingly frustrated with confusion between those who buy eggs and those who raise hens.  

With a line of support, the ego immediately looks to those who doubt.

In my freshmen season, there were flashes of talent but none that should alarm the scouts.

But you see, I’ve closed the gyms, I’ve exhausted the film, I’ve crammed & crammed for standardized tests.

If that wasn’t enough, I’ve dramatically reduced physical labor, emphasizing recovery and rest.

The freshman has been dismissed as crazy, irrational, behind the curve, the new inferior peer.

Which is fine, long as no one should cry uncle or play victim my senior year.

The universe is an endless menu where very few order what their hearts desire.

You have to get close to the source, current transducers measure by touching the wire.

No narcotics are needed to get the jolt.

If it’s not a law of physics, it’s made up and you can choose to revolt.

Why seek truth? Believe in utility.

My dreams coming true is less about my abilities and more about my ability,

To believe the finish line is my destination, that her hand is mine.

The universe only serves those who get in line, then leave the line, because we choose our time.

What if we put in adult movies all the messages we see in kids tales? In all the animation?

We create these rules and guidelines with well intention but become prisoners to this lamination.

Can an adult return to a child like cerebral at will? This is my life’s fascination.

Should more attention be paid to my imagination than my reality? A question worth serious consideration.

With the answer being a resounding yes, I find myself here in the physical realm less.

For I am now top of Everest, dipping in the Amazon, in a Yoga studio of south Japan beginning to stretch.

Or maybe I jump around the multiverse, forgetting my profession, maybe I’m a sculptor, what is my age?

Perhaps my lyrics have touched the masses, I stare in awe at them singing from a Boston stage.

“Raris & Rovers , these girls love The Clover

I paid them back what they loaned her, now her stressing is over.”

As Porfiry sipped from the brightly blue drink she’d bought him, words did not rush from his lips in their usual manner.

“You’re so… , I mean ha , your eyes, they’re umm, haha pardon me” he rushed for his straw once more, beginning to believe he’d lost the ability to flatter.

Across from him, behind eyes that glowed of malachite, a smile radiating joy, and bangs hinting feigned innocence, was a girl not of his type.

Yet, here he sat, a journalist lost for words. No longer simply unable to speak but beginning to feel as if he could no longer read or write.

Floral scents from her aroma seemed to invade his space, shimmer down his spine, and follow him back to his flat.

Staring at the ceiling in the black of night, he challenged his desires, why did an outlier fill him with butterflies such as that.

The next two dawns roaming through town, he felt chills as the sight of bangs harassed him. All the traffic lights were emerald and the world looked new.

Twenty four hours later, Porfiry learned he had the flu.

Obsession with an idea brings focus to an internal struggle, surroundings fade away.

I do not fear failure, I fear my inevitable success leading to the remembering of the world that day.

My isolation has been a myriad of peace, to be alone is to reduce probability of accelerated entropy.

As he begun to go deaf, Mozart wrote his best symphony.

Silence of external noise allows us to hear the beautiful songs that are being whispered within us.

Hand rails they told us would hold us up are covered in tears and so while grasping for stability we are cut by thin rust.

The only math they know is plus, thus, in such social constructs, win you must.

Cars, homes, clothing, one's true self is usually buried under such stuff.

Life is chess not checkers, Ironically an internal check leads one to stop mating.

It's all so cheesy, trying to fill superficial holes is just soul grating.

There is a belief we can’t buy peace of mind but hundreds of books in, you feel as if you’ve bought some.

Save more wheat than you’re milling, you will be ready if a drought comes.

Next sacrifice things furnished to be a furnace, you shall keep the house warm.

Don’t assess the bee by the honey, observe the health of thy swarm.

There is no courage without vulnerability, that strong probability of failing or getting hurt.

Why do people pursue certainty in their lives? Going through life finding comfort in spoiler alerts.

Why buy tickets to a horror movie where the fear is spilled in the commercial?

Will your life be an example of abstract expressionism or a familiar rehearsal?

Without uncertainty what's the point? I want to wonder what I'll see and guess on the source of the sound.

I leap for the feeling in the air, not for promise of landing back on the ground.

The student surpasses the master but the master is claiming confirmation of himself if he can teach.

Teaching is more about the master’s completion than what the student seeks to reach.

You have not truly mastered a domain or achieved a skill until you can give a lecture.

Teaching is a kin to putting knowledge and experience into an oven, changing their flavors and textures.

Thus, if you can not teach a class on a subject It is most wise to withhold your opinion.

Or get in front of the class, & when your voice cracks you’ll quickly realize there you have no dominion.

but, Happy Thanksgiving :)

I just figure It out as I go so I’m still learning.
On days where I feel I’ve come the furthest I can still feel my ears burning.
Do clocks ever tick in reverse?
Even if they do, I’m not sure we’re meant to avoid the hurt.
We pray for peace but grow so much in the back & forth.
It’s disappointing to hear stories read where we play the role of Voldemort.
But these days I’ve stopped responding, I grow so much more when I just listen.
When you look in the crowd I’ll be standing & cheering when you’re winning.
Just go easy on me.
When you be speaking on me.

Novelists, poets, tend to be hopeless romantics only capable of writing romance once we find our hope.

Gosh, I know, my dear friends, some time has passed since my last love note.

Reduce your worry, for love is soon to burst from my pen more inspiring than ever before.

In my efforts to be exuberant yet patient, I will briefly describe this woman I adore.

Her smile makes you forget you’ve cried, her strength strikes in you, weakness, life with her makes you question if you’ve ever lived.

The view is difficult to describe, I am watching a thief steal something I am yearning to give.

She’s a reminder that God in a relationship makes heaven the ceiling.

For those who have missed the love in my scripts, she is restoring the feeling.

Direction, inertia, momentum, that’s my secret sauce.

The first cut is the deepest but the first loss is the best loss.

The most important part about moving on is you are moving.

Every defeated person is inevitably learning while they’re losing.

I wish I knew how to be a good loser so much earlier in life.  

Wounds can’t heal until you remove the knife.

While we can’t see them coming we know they will.

Accepting losses and moving on, this is the holy grail, the panacea skill.

Life’s hard, but me no want It easy on me.

Life is a book where we’re surrounded with pages, where should we look?

The hardest memories are the ones you cherish but regret the route you took.

Whether we look back, up, or forward, what we wrote brought the story to now.

As I say, intelligence is measured by attaining one’s desires, what is less important than how.

I don’t know how to write my story, I don’t know if I’ll love what I read, but the book will grow.

Maybe gravity makes heights so hard because all the good things are found when we’re low?

Nonetheless, I feel my life is a book where the pages are in a river, I’m no longer fighting the flow.

and maybe someday down the road I’ll sit back and say to myself, “yeah I thought so.”

Can holding a note replace holding a hand?

Can a record catch help the fisherman forget the mistakes he made on land?

Heart broken, we turn to our talents. Consumed with pain, It seems better to be self absorbed.

Have the achievements ever helped with forgetting the ones you adored?

Promotions justify neglect, an increase in earnings helps with overlooking that which you’re losing.

Celebrating the purchase of new house drowns out the fact you must keep moving.

There’s a new PR, you’ve made partner, the shot went in, the Mercedes surely does ride smooth.

Reality would be perfect if these things really did soothe.

Truth is though, you run there because this place, these things, make you feel like enough.

For a moment it feels like the talent, the success, replaced all the love.

and when they buy a security, they also hope that he’s in It.

Because you can not find luck without seeing that P with It.

Why is it the people who talk like It all comes so easy, don’t have much? Can’t teach anything we can use?

Socializing above a threshold becomes potential abuse.

Not the chance of harm, but the destruction of our capacity.

Everyone who changed the world, imagined a different world, the direct opposite of actually.

Actually, what they call It is reality. They say “be realistic.”

Truth is they’ve lost their imagination and their negativity is how they mourn and miss It.

I have a friend who imagined the Olympics and now he’s lord of the rings.

I’m drowning in a world where Wizards are born, engulfed in the magic it brings.

You can do It, you can have It, you can get there, please believe me.

As long you know the price, It doesn’t all come so easy.

Good things, good people, are most appreciated when they’re leaving.

An easy Sunday morning isn’t noticed until Sunday evening.

It isn’t until landfall that the sailor notices the path was smooth.

For those who feel under revered this should be a thought that soothes.

It may rain today, It may shine today, but the flowers sprout as the time creeps through.

Slower is the preparation of herbal infused teas but such a sweet brew.




.

Nightmares are just dreams we’ve lost.
Paranoia is the side effect of us being told happiness has a cost.
So the bad feels comfortable & what feels right scares.
You’re a dream & lost dreams are nightmares.
We close our ears to the sounds, pull away from the touch.
I could stay in this sauna for hours, & not sweat as much.
As much as when you’re around.
Embarrassed I go to a forest, they say things that fall there don’t make a sound.
When we’re grown there aren’t any night lights and Teddy bears.
& even though I’m scared I still choose to dream nightmares.

The use of cubism by Picasso introduced multiple viewpoints to enhance grading.

Any enthralling image requires light and dark areas, this is my shading.

Covered by a sad song, we seep into a bleak place where we feel we belong.

Far I’ve come but my grandmothers are gone. I feel as if I took too long.

I’ve realized past partners are projections of myself in order to understand my mind.

Is this why x is behind double you and in front of why?

Life is vices behind, like workaholism, *******, and liquor.

Then the ego introduces goal posts as the next kicker.

Checks and balances, they never told us that once you master the game

You’re terrified. To fall short while capable means there’s no one to blame.

So, I write to take weight off my shoulders, to say to you that you mustn’t always be so strong.

In this short life, we all know there are days It can feel too long.

Please don’t reach out me.

Think watching too much Dalio got to me.

Trading too ease,

I’m plucking them out by the threes.

Don’t need a vacation to decide to be on a beach.

Fly my mom to Africa she just pick the week.

Changing my number a need, made an exec 100% now he text me everyday like a fiend.

There are things even poets do not have the words to describe.

Such emotions once they’re felt, they demand the absence of your pride.

I guess, that’s where I walk towards now, escaping my vanity.

Where I used to hide from tears, I’ve stepped from under the canopy.

Empathy exploding, understanding bursting to near delusion.

To think you know is doom, guidance is found in accepted confusion.

I don’t know where I’m going, I don’t know what will happen, but fear has stopped its drumming.

The only thing I know is all I need to know, I love who I’m becoming.

I want to be in the world without the focus on the being, being me.

For to be free is to just, be.

Isolation is no friend to intimacy but to deviate you have to simultaneously love and ignore your peers.

My most difficult moment as well as biggest breakthrough was in a mirror asking “having you done so any of these past years?”

Now, this is something no one likes to hear so I evaluate my own life and none else.

Proceeding to ask myself if my path looks like everyone around me, how could It be this is my true self?

Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life. This is how It goes see.

There are multiple choices & if mine matches the class, I know how hard the test will be.

I've been focused on my distant light the last 14 months, I feel like I'm living in a telescope.

Unprecedented sacrifices, committed to living with my mother until I never have to tell her nope.

My great grandmother is 89, we saw her today they think she's leaving soon.

I couldn't catch my breathe to tell her that her prayers blocking my demons gave me breathing room.

Not sure why we assume we have the whole clock to air it out.

I'm pressing my lungs everyday until the air is out.

She had my grandmother and uncle in a one bedroom shack, three mouths to feed.

Has me ashamed of the things in my life I was ever foolish enough to call a need.

My eyes are wide open so I listen to less of my peers, I have a distant ear.

Playing who wants to be a millionaire but my lifelines are starting to disappear.

I'm a product of generations of sacrifices, my destiny is the heights my lineage will soon taste.

We couldn't rob Peter to pay Paul, in my family they were usually roommates.

I only have one idea. I don’t know what my idea is but still I continue.

That’s why I’m writing today, you know that feeling deep inside but you don’t truly know what’s within you?

We’re all rough so if you go into the depths, there’s always a diamond.

I’ve realized questions are simply signals from answers, they’re begging us to find them.

So I’m digging. I donated all my materials to move in with my mother, bringing only my shovel.

I made more money this year than I ever have, It didn’t comfort me in my struggle.

To leave this world without discovering my gift is my greatest fear.

I don’t know what’s buried in my soul but God is my witness, i know It’s there.

If you take the square root of luck, multiply by P, what will you get from this alchemy?

Our beliefs consume us with obsessive compulsion, this one has claimed all of me.

The consistency we desire exists within our minds.

Happiness is something we conjure not something we find.

The fountain of youth is an imagined lake.

I’ve become addicted to such sorcery after discovering how magic tastes.

To live a full life is to shed fear of death, to live into old age and welcome flesh’s end without daunt.

The joyous thing about life, and believe me when I say this, everybody gets what they want.

The caveat is you can have anything, just not everything.

When I sleep, when I imagine, when I make believe, when I pray,  It’s always the same dream.

Killed my ignorance with books, in my office it can lie buried.

A plan for the risk is the difference between divorce and staying married.

Life challenges brought me to my knees then I rose to stability on one.

Proposed to my dreams hoping the lord says yes once I’m done.

The only measure of intelligence is if you get what you want out of life.

One must know what to want in the first place, what’s worth what price?

The food for thought used to take several trips, It felt like a full plate.

Now It takes half of the fridge to maintain like I gained a roommate.

However, I live mostly in my head alone.

Such a crowded home.

The thing about all facts are they’re bound to expire.

When you set a blaze your ego peace is found in the fire.

You can measure how strong a man is by how often he says “I don’t know.”

An open mind is like buying shoes for a child, you must leave room to grow.

I’m more intelligent than Einstein, I’m breathing today.

Yet, I’m cursed to be an idiot in the past, new answers will emerge as I decay.

And so the shrinking of my ego is my goal, seeking one subject where I have minimal peers.

Piling up “I don’t know” through the years, I’m only one man with just one idea.

If I die before i wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.

But should the lord find an empty bay, my soul is a vessel I gave away.

For I loved my friends and family like It was always my last breathe.

Knowing life is not a fair game, this is how I’ve cheated death.

I’ve jam packed my will and reduced all the days I said I wouldn’t.

Giving all efforts in my youth, turning my head to see all perspectives I once couldn’t.

Not arguing with my loved ones allows me to argue with death and get the last word.

For at my funeral you all will say things I’ve already heard.

Why do things become more simple, the more times we fail?

The failure is perceived as a setback, yet it’s a step closer to the moment we will prevail.

Yes, It is a strange occurrence indeed.

Success is what we want, and failure is what we need.

Experience is experience, no one ever mentioned or asked about the results.

Hence whether you won or loss, there is still value in your consult.

So do not hang your head if you took a shot but It did not go in.

You can share what not to do, or be closer should you shoot again.

Go, tell a friend.

Failure is the beginning, not the end.

Redundancy seems to invite white blood cells that accumulate into decadence.

Leading to tumors composed of debts, to empires operating with consistent deficits.

Seneca solved the dilemma, finding a vaccine that staged off all of wealth’s symptoms.

Banks infect their communities, a search for a borrower is a search for a victim.

Wealth when fully utilized should bring the choice of where to be, what to think, when to listen.

Often the only difference between a slave and rich man is one has decided to rent his prison.

Seneca knew It was illogical to amass resources and yet not be free.

For to have debts certainly means you have somewhere you must be.

Earth's canvas, leaves fall on paint.

The sun becomes a recent memory, there but faint.

The air feels like a restart.

It wasn't my year, but this is my part.

When the leaves fall, I pick myself up.

Holidays, where we forget the selfish stuff.

Hold my hand, search my eyes, & judge my plate.

Cold weather, warm houses, and allergic faith.

The only judge to success is if you can look in the mirror and see your honor.

Life is permanent but in your court you decide what you get to launder.

I don’t require a jury, I plead guilty of becoming prisoner to my imagination’s fluctuations.

I say my goals out loud and then get to the end of my sentences like punctuations.

My mom, Pops, the only people I talk to when I’m on trial.

Ive been the bar since a child, if I can’t go the distance I’ll challenge the legitimacy of a mile.

They made that **** up anyway, this is my world and I define far.

To turn my back on myself would be the only time I could be behind bars.

Still, I sacrificed my small freedoms today for immense freedom later.

You know how It goes, rocks are next to hard places, cut It all out and get paper.

Magic isn’t just something Elves made up.

Love is something that novels, TV, and social media made tough.

the right connections aren’t labor but, ironically they just work, scarcity is a thought to divorce.

Extinction is the one prerequisite to sustained loneliness, else wise go to the source.

For if you fell in love with an erudite, make the library a place where you dine and camp.

There are those in wheelchairs who agonize over stairs, and those who search for ramps.

If you loved nurses maybe your next spark can be found in your next cold.

Wax can either hinder your ability to hear or act as a base to the new flame your wick will hold.

My point being is if you lost your favorite blonde you can fly to Norway, or pout in Phoenix.

But one thing is clear, the people who truly want something, we can tell they mean It.

Is no one  seeing the irony that a self help industry is something a mass of people consult?

My dark statement is my attempt to shed light, nothing can promise or predict results.

Unfortunately, we don’t know to what degree we have free will but there is little these books will free.

True discovery and growth comes from reality, from a feedback loop epiphany.

Furthermore, to change one line in a code will not change an algorithm.

Someone who is not willing to transform their life, will not transform irrespective of how many books you give them.

last year, I read 200 books to find a myriad of people saying the same stuff.

In the end there’s those looking to skip steps, and those profiting off of selling or posting such fluff.

Explore ideas rather than steps, clear your mind, shift habits drastically, then wait.

All of these books are the best sellers, if everyone is reading the same books who separates?

Black ink covers my finger nails as i press my poor pen rugged.

A stretched dome for this poem as you deserve confident competence to complement the subject.

Advice on life that avoids a tune like judgement is always the toughest.

Altitude you must divorce, magnitude you can see casually, but direction, direction you must love It.  

Life is not about heights or completion, for all streaks end with an extinguished fire’s scorn.

All of the most valuable things in your life were not earned,  they were simply born.

What could you do to grow more organs? What true friendship is based on your social prestige?

No, forward. The desire of forward over upward, achievement, or approval is a craving you much reach.

For anyone charging up, must come down.

And well, forgive me for sounding much to elementary, but any smile coming down is at once a frown.