I care so much
And I feel a hunch
That you don’t care as much
It makes me feel like I need a crutch

I care so ******* much
One might say I care “too ******* much”
But I don’t care
Finding someone like you is rare

That's what I thought
But you left me to rot
I don’t get it
Why did you throw me in this pit?

What the **** did I do to deserve this?
Why did you make my life such a twisted abyss?
I know I’m not perfect
But is this the final verdict?

Have I been sentenced to life without you?
Can I not sue?
Can I not fight this sentence?
Time is of the essence

Can you please explain
Why did you make me feel so much pain?
How did I **** it up?
Why’d you slam the door?

I must’ve ****** it up
That's why you leave me on ignored
Can you please come back,
And not attack?

I sound like a crazy ex
Which of us makes this feel so complex?
It's just a simple misunderstanding
Why does it feel so reprimanding?

Why did you target me,
Not the other three?
What did I do to deserve this ****?
Did it have to end with this split?

Can I at least get an apology
You broke my heart that's basic biology
If anyone's guilty it's you
Not me and the crew

Don’t make it seem like its my fault
Stop it with the salt
It's like you’re rubbing it on my wounds
Don’t feed me to the hounds

Can I just get that
Just a simple chat
Where you confess
To starting this mess

To dragging it out of proportion
To causing this distortion

I’m the problem,
I know you want me out of your system.
I can see it in your eyes,
You’re hiding under your disguise.

I know how you feel,
I can’t believe this is real.
I thought we would be here for life,
But we didn’t even reach close to midlife.

You say you don’t hate me,
But you’d leave me to drown at sea.
The water freezing,
MUffling my pleading.

I’ll beg for forgiveness,
Like I’m a deadly illness.
You’ll wish me dead,
Your hate making you see red.

But it’s fine,
I’ll still shine.
You’ll act unaffected,
LIke the bullets were deflected.

So what are we now?
Do you want me to take a bow?
Do you want me to run out crying?
Or do you simply want me dying?

“It's just one time”
It won’t happen for a lifetime.
Lies I say
They’ll never see the light of day

“I’m full”
“I can’t eat another spoonful”
That's what I tell them
“Just a white lie”

No more lies
Just more “tries”
I don’t them to worry
So I must be wary

I need them to be okay
I can’t see them all gray
“I’m getting better guys”
Only clear skies

If they’re okay I’m okay
If I’m okay are they okay?
Once I finally fix me
We’ll all be free

Or will we…?

Am I insane?
For wanting out of this pain?
I feel so twisted
For wanting everyone to forget I ever existed

I want to start fresh
I want to rip off my flesh
I hate being in my skin
It feels like I’m committing a sin

All I want is a new life
I want to stab mine with a knife
I hate my desires
I want to light them with fires

I hate what people think of me
But what would they think if they saw the real me
Would they scream?
They definitely wouldn’t beam.

I know I’m not perfect
I know I’m not worth it
I won’t blame them for leaving
I mean I’m the one being deceiving