Tales of silence
and darkest dread
on a loop I can't ignore -
mind full of regret.

I should have, I can't
I shouldn't have, I did
I will, I don't

The core malfunctions,
overheating in the cold;
it's strange, and the birds still laugh.

Holding strong until complete collapse
is stupid and unavoidable.

Attend the sirens as they wail for a stranger
and feel pity and know
they will soon scream
much closer to home,
the *******.

Flesh is outgrown and shed;
it must be the husk
which lies brittle in my throat
and scratches tears from my eyes.

**** the impossible future and
its surely sour grapes.

My feet are ******* stupid.
They've walked me into so many things we should've avoided.
My brain is stupid, too,
for allowing these
indiscretions.
But where the hell was I -
The me that I think is Me?
Did I ignore Me,
or was I even there?
And why should we live with these
questions?

It takes a special kind to love
unapologetically, knowing
the letdown is already there,
just unseen.
Love this kind back
in equal measure,
and equally unapologetically.

don't be too ******* yourself
but don't be too soft.
expect yourself to do things
but do not expect those things to be
memorable.
just be, i guess. just be,
and know that sometimes
you'll be beautiful
and sometimes you'll be
a bouquet of slightly ugly rocks.

******* I want to write
about beauty
and love and joy and *******
and a frolic in a meadow
and flowers I like and
how drums can spark a dance
and about people who
make the world worthwhile
and good food.
good everything.
I whine instead.
I'm a **** on a shoe
and a mosquito.
but I see the beauty.
I love it.
why can't I create it.

I probably will not make
  even a small difference
and that's okay, I'm sure.
The odds are against me doing great
   or even sorta good things
for this world with which
       I'm so dissatisfied.
I think I'm too ******* lazy.
Or my concern is not serious enough.
I want good and better and best
but I'm none of those.
I watched a beetle on a burning board
and by the time I realized he wouldn't make it to safety, it was too late for me to help.
I should've helped.

As darkness spreads over
the face of the earth
Grant our mother one
final rebirth
Let her know her time
has not been wasted
Show her one last light
and let her taste it

We the children have
all lost our way
We have forgotten
that there were better days
Days when we took no more
than was required
But now our precious world
is in the fire