I feel as though I lived multiple lives
Existed through multiple timelines
Experienced super phenomenal things
But I do not believe in reincarnation if we are to have a soul.

I've been a woman, with many grandchildren and kids, happily stowed away in the rural painting away from the city. Swinging over the edge of a hill colored yellow, because of the sea of sunflowers beneath me, on a wooden swing my husband made for me.
This was a good life.

I've been the boy who was traumatized, isolated, neglected, driven under...

I've been the suburban girl who had a seemingly steady life, as a common crate, but with enough resources to stably get to where it needs to be because it's protected and considered more valuable.

I've been a sky knight, gifted his wings through tedious training, with the goal of protecting the lives of the civilians that pledged underneath the Oath of The Highest Power.

I've seen many things...
But sometimes I have deja vu

And I'm starting to think that deja vu is connected to these lives, BUT also connected to the theory that someone keeps changing the future, by changing the past.

I don't want to go insane
Chosen to play a bitter game
And even if I'm really bad
My goal will still remain the same
I'm flawed to repel blissfulness
I won't get to see happiness
And honestly, I must confess
All I want now is just to rest
Crushed down into a little bug
Clipped off my wings so I won't flee
Stuck in a loop, I need a hug
It's gotten harder  just to breathe
Left confused in a darkened place
Cursed to walk it all by  myself
I see the dread, I know it's taste
I'm quickly losing all my health.

Open your eyes, love
Remove the debris from the corners
The sun is always up above
Get out of the fantasy
Erase those borders.


Be more selfless
More loving
More caring
More of what you wish was there when you felt your worse...

Because adding to fire won't save the forest.
And without the trees, we all suffocate.
Restrict the fire and even if we save one tree, we've won.
Just because you don't save as much as you would like
It doesn't mean that saving any less is pointless.


It's a matter of perspective.
Change the world,
But to do that, you'll have to open YOUR mind
One tree can bring many
And many trees can disappear by one flame


One will leave you empty
One will fill you with life

°
I
Bathe
In
Light
To
See
The
Obstacles
That
Will
Try
To
Thwart
Me


•
I'm
Covered
In
Darkness
To
Adjust
To
The
Mystery
T­hat
Is
Blinding.

i once had a dream that i was
in a gray world
and
It was time to leave school
to go home
however
i had supplies
on the desk
and everyone was leaving the class
but i was still there
all alone
In this gray void
where
An entity
hoped i'd be
and As i rushed
to put my things away
shifting from organized
to messy
i no longer cared
i just wanted to make it
out of the room
so that i wouldn't be alone
once again
all by myself
where it could be able to
feed on me

Wistful feelings I felt while I was deceived by my heart
As I let him whisper hope into my ears I choked
Swallowing my words of disapproval
Smiling bitterly as I gave myself another gamble
And as the dice came dancing down at my feet
Waiting for a pair of even twins
I got two eyes.


I must mind my feelings
because sometimes he can be mischevious
and I can't afford to gamble again
no matter the potential prize
The risk can destroy me

Hello child
You don't know what you've just done
That hatred and that malice you've shown
It's made way for the evil one
Now hear the sky and it's demand
Nor you shall know the cries of men
Unleashed the hell of broken sons
Unnatural demons are on the run
Don't try to hide
Don't even scream
It won't help you
It won't help you
It won't help you
uoʏ q|ɘʜ ƚ'ᴎow ƚI
q|ɘʜ ƚ'ᴎow ƚI you
I҉t҉ ҉w҉o҉n҉'҉t҉ ҉h҉e҉l҉p҉ ҉y҉o҉u҉





Scream the names of targets now for he must take everyone down and you can cower under sheets forget the light now darkness seeps and lost for words you may now be with crackled eyes you cannot see and shattered begs your silent now don't try to fight when you are bare.

:::)>)

Fueled by the fiery finding of gold
Gushing through my fingers,
I have to have it.

Greedy for the find, what a steal,
It's mine,
I've got to have it!

Time seems to quicken, and my body suddenly stiffens
when the word love is mentioned...
Feelings bully my conscious.
That's a poem for later

What a game I'd never like to play
The edges on my thoughts are rather rough today

I shouldn't pour my soul out if it leaves nothing behind


That's why I watch this world's suffering shine

Don't mind me while I sip my sweetened tea

I'm sitting in the shade watching life play out like a poem
without
meaning...

I told someone exactly what I meant
Taking away a privilege because I realized my worth
Humbled by my mistakes and the person in the mirror
I noticed that after all those tears last night
Those life-changing temptations in a blur
Behind those evil voices destroying my character
I made it home, and I made some food
Despite feeling hungry
I didn't want to live another day any longer
But I spoke to someone about my classes and future
I set up a counselor for myself
DESPITE all that, I went to work
I want something,
and it hurts to not have it right now
But I haven't lost hope
Despite being dragged around time and time again
I wake up with almost childlike faith the next day
Subconsciously, I know I am protected
I got up and I started my day
and now I’m here, mellow
Knowing I could lose everything
Be all alone
But never alone
And having everything
Because I'm here and I'm determined
I'm happy
Feel alive.

ᶜᵒˡᵈ ᶜᵒⁿᶜʳᵉᵗᵉ ᵃᵐᵘˢᵉˢ ᵐᵉ ˡⁱᵏᵉ ˢᵐⁱˡᵉˢ ᶠᵃᵏᵉᵈ ᵇʸ ʰᵘᵐᵃⁿⁱᵗʸ
ᴬˢ ᵇˡᵒᵒᵈ ᵗʳⁱᶜᵏˡᵉˢ ᵗʰʳᵒᵘᵍʰ ᵗʰᵉ ᵛᵉⁱⁿˢ ᵒᶠ ᵐᵃᵈⁿᵉˢˢ ᶜᵒᵐᵉˢ ᵗʳⁱᶜᵏᵉʳʸ
ᴹᵃʸ ᴵ ᶜᵒᵐᵉ ᵈᵒʷⁿ ᵈᵉˢᶜᵉⁿᵈⁱⁿᵍ ˢˡᵒʷ
ᴸⁱᵏᵉ ˢᵖⁱᵈᵉʳˢ ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᶜᵒʳⁿᵉʳˢ
ᴼʳ ˢʰᵃᵈᵒʷˢ ᵒᶠ ʷᵒᵉ
ᴹᵘˢᵗ ᴵ ʷᵃᵗᶜʰ ᵖˢʸᶜʰᵒˢ ᵇᵉᵍ
ᴹᵉʳᶜʸ ᶜᵃⁿⁿᵒᵗ ˢʰᵒʷ
ᴵ ⁿᵉᵉᵈ ʸᵒᵘ
ᴵⁿ ᵐᵃⁿʸ ᵗʰⁱⁿᵍˢ, ˡⁱᵏᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ʳᵃⁱⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵉᵗʰ ᵈᵒʷⁿ
ᶠᵒʳ ʷⁱᵗʰ ᵗᵉᵃʳˢ ᵗʰᵉʸ ˢʰᵃˡˡ ˢʰᵉᵈ ᶜᵒᵐᵉˢ ᵗʰᵉ ᵇˡᵒᵒᵈ
ᴼᶠ ᵐʸ ᵐᵉᵃˡ
ᴰᵒ ᵗʰᵉˢᵉ ᶜʰⁱˡᵈʳᵉⁿ ᵗʳʸ ᵈᵉᶜⁱᵖʰᵉʳⁱⁿᵍ
ᵀʰᵉʸ ˢʰᵃⁿ'ᵗ ᶠⁱⁿᵈ ᵃ ʷᵃʸ
ᶠᵒʳ ᴵ ᵃᵐ ⱽᵉⁿᵃˡˢᵃᵘⁿᵗᵉʳ
ᴹᵃⁿⁱᵃ ⁱˢ ᵗʰᵉ ʷᵃʸ
ᶜᵒᵐᵉ ʷⁱᵗʰ ᵐᵉ
ᴵ ˢʰᵃˡˡ ᵗᵃᵏᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵐᵃᵏᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ᵐʸ ᵖʳᵉʸ
ᴵ ᵃᵐ ʸᵒᵘʳˢ
ʸᵒᵘ ᵃʳᵉ ᵐⁱⁿᵉ
ᴸᵉᵗ ᵘˢ ᵃˡˡ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵒᵘʳ ʷᵃʸ

:)

Grounded
To the floor beneath me
I still within my flesh and call out to the holy star
Drenched in the energy of the night, restrained within the vacancy
Absent in will, I shudder underneath the fear collected
possessive, aggressive, obsessive
Relentless, claustrophobia triggered by the closing walls
within me

blurring my vision, i feel heavy, as if there is something on me
\i\\cannot feel my legs, my eyes stuck open
forced by the grips of hell and then...

...i saw it...

Welcoming me with it's discomforting grin,
"let me in"
It would utter
a monster it is
And yet I cannot move
Singing to me, it retells my life, piece by piece, bit by bit
Every single moment I've ever encountered

The tears I wept eased into the hue of my blood

I could finally speak...but the sound that left my mouth was not my own

"I like my new home; I feel grounded"

When the sugar hits my mind
I lose the sense to make sense
Complicated caffeinated composure
Crafted by this new exposure
Is it me that I am seeing
Running so fast through the hour
Elevated so high up
On this rush-built tower
But then there is a crash
And when it crashes it crumbles
And I fall as fast as I flew
What a rollercoaster sugar is

I am a poem
Long as I am short
Delicate, as I am tough
Deep as I am simple
Raw as I am protected
I am a poem, that forms poems
Echoing many emotions and birthing them into writing
To be called a poem by a poet
a beautiful lyricist that can form adventures through their very thoughts
.
.
.
To call me a poem, and a beautiful one
In itself is a poem.

He is trying
Trying to consume me
But I mustn't let him know
That I am not going
For he may not realize
I am not prey
Now that I have light in my way
For he may roar enmity
I shall not show fear
His grin and his walk
No, I cannot care
I hear the sky
It's warning me
Must I walk closer
It's soon coming
I'm not a slave
Nor am I doomed
Your request's declined...
Your demands are too.

:/

Am I real...?

I mean, I think I am.



Reasons to believe that I am real:
- I love!
- I hate...
- I cry...
- I laugh!
.
.
.
.
As I've found myself falling away from time
I can't tell you how good it feels to leave all of it behind
But this path is a lonely path, no wonder they call it solitaire
A game that can only be a solo...a game that doesn't feel any fair...

Another bug on the wall, yet now, it's just me for another day
Though some may think me beautiful...I get killed anyway
And with my death, I become a new nonimproved ghost...

Another game of solitaire...a game with me as the guest and the host.

Is there something wrong with me
For me to be punished as I am?
Gifted with sincere love after high school, but before I was alone
Lacking the social skills those years were meant to teach me.
Only ever to experience one one-sided romance, hardly tempted to call it a real relationship.

Still, utterly single...but I can handle being so.
I simply don't want to.

With each passing year
I feel like a beautiful peacock
With each feather plucked by the year
For each time i failed to find my mate.

But when I let down my feathers
And I try to go about it naturally
I am unseen...

To be named beautiful
appealing
good looking

yet to be treated like I am just a temporary good moment


I'm crushed
because I know my worth...

but just because I do
that only leaves it one-sided

I can be without a phone, but if I am surrounded by a sea of those with one, no one will notice me.

I feel like a ghost
who wants to be seen...

How ironic is it to be a hopeless romantic who lacks that?

There was a heart that glowed
Its love was strong and forever gold
Until a shank pierced its way in
Inking the heart black in the end

He never left my mind
Though I see a different light
Distorted this time
It's hard to pick out what's the sight
A person or a monster
Such a mystery he is
But I want him next to me
For regardless that's how he exists
Like a brother who has died
He somehow is dear to me
Even when he kind of tried
To rip my soul away from me
Such as he has lost his heart
He still isn't that apart
For he's here, I wonder if I'm there
Haunted me
But here I am rewriting thoughts
Though my mind is not the same
Less distraught and now I'm dead
At least now my heart is tamed
I just feel like he is here
yet I don't feel I am there
kind of feel a bit insane
but is that the trick of the game
Haunted soul, I feel I am
Rocking, shifting, am I ******
What did happen to little old me
Haunted soul hunted by grief

What's the point of speaking
If you're put on mute

One more life left.
Then it'll be game over.
The clock will reset.
Here come the falling feathers.

Try Again?

Yes or No?

Choose the next path.
May it be for better...or worse.

It's a thrill
A rush
A feel
Down the tunnel
Touch the soul
Overdosing
Textured landslide
Coated novocaine
Crashing faster
falling
Wonderland
Pleasure
Living loosely
Chaos baby
Bold and tested
Here I come
Sweet
and
Ready
Make you numb

I noticed something that I wish I didn't...
And now I have to leave
before I stop feeling the adrenaline.

I am choking on the present
Nothing really feels the same
Frozen in time, my soul said it
Drowning in eternal shame
But it ends when I turn back on
Start my day over again
Reappear and I respawn
I feel a sharp yet subtle pain
I wish my life was not by Dice
And I could be truly free
But like the game of cat and mice
The word for it is it's ******
Hope it won't be me that ends
With someone stepping on my neck
Maybe reality bends
To keep us from a fated wreck