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Silence is golden
Silence is a response
Silence is needed
Silence will always be
Silence
Silence
IS
LOUD
Silence is mine
Silence is time
Silence is not timid
Silence is yours
Silence speaks
Four little letters with big meanings.  
Introvert
iNtuitive
Feeling
Judging

They all add to me.  Hanging out at home but capable of extroversion.  Intuitively pick up on those emotions of the room.  Feel the value of the future and organize for everybody.

Art, music, spreadsheets and friends just to bail for home.  Thoughts and emotions, OCD and quiet.  

Understanding me in four letters
Music is the way we speak.  It takes us so deep.  Music is the heart of my soul.  The voice that not everyone knows.  You speak my language and its gotten to me in ways I could have never understood.  Music conversations are the only conversations we have at the moment.  Feelings in raps and ballads.  Love in a heart beat.  Stereo Hearts that play for each other but not for others.  Pain, gain, strain, love and compassion in a list of artists. Truth bombs for the shy, the introverts and the heartbroken.  The song list grows and grows.  His song, my song, OUR song.  To be heard, to be seen, to be understood is why we have a music conversation.  Music carries so much weight.  Its not a date but a conversation is our minds and speaking to our souls.  Hearts desires, words to explain wants and needs.  Makes the words flow and climb in our minds.  No touches to complete the text just another song.
How do I do it?  
Fear!
No choice!
Destiny!
Single parenting isn't for the meek.  It is not usually a choice.  I chose to stay single to do this work alone.  It has people misunderstanding me and plaquing me with "I don't know how you do it".  I didn't have a choice.  I feared what would happen if I didn't show up and show out.
I think it was always meant to be this way.  It didn't always come easy but it worked out for me.  Standing on the cliff of being almost done with this parenting gig is got me waxing poetic about life and next steps. So here we go again.  Fear of the end, no choice but to bend.  Destiny showing me how to do it.
I wonder if you wonder.
I wonder how you can’t care
I wonder how to explain your lack of everything and why you're never there.
Questions always to ponder
Wondering how to understand

My life is incomplete without the tiny soul here.
I wonder if you understand the loss you have
But you have no cares
I wonder if he will always wish you were here.
You gave me back my voice that you forgot I had.  
Now you stare at me in terror
For the truth that I could speak.
You wonder if I have told them
The farce that you have always been.  
No one knows the truth that I can speak.
I keep it in
Drop truth so slightly that they don't even hear me speak.

I will speak with a voice that was stolen from me.  
Hear my voice from the ashes singing finally.
Survival of the fittest is a funny thing
Day by day you make it work
Drowning can become the air you breathe
Survive
People think your strong
You feel tired and weak
They don't see you cry
Survival gets you left alone
Everyone thinks your fine
Day by day you make it work
Drowning has become your normal
Survival of the fittest is a funny thing.
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