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Pea Jul 2014
I knew two Randy's in my life
The first was Regina's older brother
I remembered I once saw his photograph
But first glimpse wouldn't stuck so long in my head
So I would tell you about Regina instead
She was a dancer and she cooked well
I once was in the same class as her
She used to bring her cookings to school
Healthy meals but enormously delicious
Not that I have had eaten it before;
I am just exaggerating --

Her parents wanted her to be a doctor
But she didn't know what she wanted to be
So let's forget it because
I, too, don't really care about her

Her name reminded me of another Regina
We were strangely quite close on Junior High
This Regina had cute teeth and pretty eyes
And her laugh made me happy
She was the leader of Journalistic Club
And I regretted I had not joined the club
Not because of her, but
Because I remembered that later on Senior High
I wanted to be a journalist --
Not anymore

The second Randy was an actor
I watched a play and found him
So mesmerizing, his presence was so consuming
His acting felt so real or perhaps it was
He was afraid of death, so afraid
Even though it was because of his own doings
He was the one who betrayed himself and the world
He was the one who did it all
He shouldn't be afraid of such hatred
Because he was the hatred
He was the hatred

Then off stage
I saw his mother and how proud she was
To see her son had played so well
She didn't know what was
Really happening
She was going to be betrayed by her own son
And her son wouldn't be able
To escape that fate
Being the hatred
Being the hatred ----


I knew two Randy's in my life
The first was Regina's older brother
And the second was the hatred who played actor
And I don't think I want to know more;
There were enough Randy's already --
Red
Pea Feb 2015
Red
I cannot eat
you from here, please,
come closer.

You are a flower
blooming in the
wrong season, no,
this isn't always about
you. So when
I sing to you I
sing to wind and
it was you who raised
my voice, so
high only
bats can hear.

Ruby or blood,
I am gonna have them both.
You don't worry
anyway because it
is my growth.

It's not ******* anymore.
And nothing to
do with pregnancy. The
stomachache is
genuine -- so pure and poor,
melodious chemical reactions of leftovers.
Pea May 2014
Do you know that what makes you scared
often is a big circle of rainbow?
You are
colorblind
and it runs through your *** chromosomes.
Blame your mother 'til you are
a chunk of solid, useless rock.
Rock it out, baby!

You wore your little sister's
blood red lipstick
and kissed four
corpses
on the cheek. I saw they smiled. Wide.

I saw you cried
for a lusterless, shriveled red rose
they stomped like crazy as the music got louder, louder,
louder.

Do you know that red roses
never grow like a scar?


Your father is deaf
but I heard him once
hummed you
a lullaby.
Pea Apr 2016
do you want to see death?
i have plenty of them
scattered in my eyes--just
look beyond my irises,
you can't
stab my soul;
she is far behind
the flesh and bones
that slowly are turning
yellow like teeth--the yellow
from my skin seeps into
even the darkest of depth.
Pea Sep 2014
Daisy, it's strange how you become a
flower crown. Soon I will forget where I
put you, although it is always and all the
time on my head.

Forget me not, my chest can no longer feel
the hurt of longing. It was not a longing at
all from the first place, the place where we
stay but do not know each other.

Red rose, you wither, I notice. Now say,
isn't it useless for both of us to keep
changing the water in the vase? Some said
ice cubes would help, but it's been too late.

Jasmine, is it the whiteness or the scent of
the warm tea? I thought of growing you but
I am currently staying in a kind of cold
dorm and you may have some hypothermia.


Soil, and minerals, I would not glorify you
like that. You are no longer a God, I cut the
string connecting you and my lovely earth.
You are just a part of the world, a mere citizen.

*[The geographical errors are still there, not
here anymore, but the roof and all the nice
things we built are now a ruin. But that's it,
really. Let's discuss the opening hours.]
Pea Jan 2017
lover, you were seen
in the dark, galloping
toward an ending

lover, you and i
were a parrot, in the future
are AI. these lives
spiraling

down
down the consciousness
up the skies, i've seen blue
you might say, lover i've
seen it all
Pea Jun 2014
God died right after had given her
The power of creation

Who is she to talk Friedrich
Like her blue premature infant?

I liked the color blue but it is
The color of forget-me-nots

Who am I to talk flower
Like my growing hair down under?

"What are humans?
Why am I different?"

Who is God to ask?
The talking doll now is God

No, no different than
The sky nor the ocean

God is a rolling title
Like a dough, like eyeballs

Who is it to talk breadcrumbs?
The birds aren't like that anymore

I sat on the table
Flipped

No, no different than a shared diary --- Then
Lou Gehrig should be happy
Then Lou Gehrig should be happy
Pea Jul 2014
She used to dream a lot
She really loved it
Until one day
A dream came true
Pea Jun 2015
my breath is gone & my neck is missing.
my forehead is swelling & hot i could just eat my brain raw.
i cannot find my throat but it tastes sour.

my eyes watery & colorblind.
while my stomach works too hard, my ears just can't take it anymore.
& my tongue knows only one taste.

my chest too tight & the bones won't do.
a song is sung, the time is up.
my clock keeps failing my now.

i read bible out loud & i became a saint.
my blood won't cure but it could wash sins.
just don't do this at home.
Don't do this at home
Pea Aug 2015
living with a mind this
gladly doing the ***** i do not aspire to
very slow clap because my hands are full
& the thrill is gone
spending days friendless, loveless
in loneliness
nothing lies within
no pleasure coming
wearing mask, cannot take it off
easy task, only fake sweetness
wrenches me bad, even god
must get the blues
Pea Aug 2016
my fingers are innocent
my palms radical
you, take my hand
like the best of teachers
Pea Nov 2014
It's easy
and light

so clear
and bright

like christmas or
another birthday

But the clouds
are actually

heavy

cruel

painful

They ****

even when
you stay in

passenger seat
next to a stranger

whose head
rests on your shoulder

And when they wake up
oh when they wake up;

The way you smile
is the way

they judge you
so

Don't.
Pea Jul 2014
Too much things to do
I could just pretend to care then ignore

Too much places to go
I could just pretend to ignore but I can't anymore

This body can take it but
This mind is too weak
Pea May 2014
Flowers and fruits have
seasons; You too? I wonder
what scent you would lose.
Pea Jul 2016
the volcano in my abdomen
erupts every time you are away
it keeps bursting, flowing
the liquid is warm, I feel cold
my chronic emptiness keeps being filled
with more void, more vacuum
I feel huge
Pea Aug 2014
I will not choose one-
Scattering the energy;
Is not it a choice?
Pea Nov 2015
All along in my tongue mother comes she stays for quite a long time. it was all in my head when i decided i had my own taste because i certainly don't, i had been so tasteless before i was growing out of a broken moon in mother's funny womb.

My tongue is the ungrateful one. at least i can appreciate the fact that i once had purity but when in this silly world nothing greater than intensity and dirt all over the place so, basically mother saved me. she'd put all her might on my tongue and god it is definitely infinite!

Now stomach is exhausted and head understands too much, now and then they both ache for each other, they both are trying to ruin me again and burn me with jealousy. for all what i've done is mother's doings, for all what i've tasted is mother. honestly i can't remember anymore how neutral tasted like, how my own tongue tasted like.

All along in my tongue mother has been lazy and a queen. nothing moves her except i remove my own tongue, but twist is she only comes and stays and she never goes. (god isn't this pointless, what use of your face if i can't see it, if my feet keep dragging me further from your back, if my glasses keep shattering and my eyes full of sand?)

(Nothing is keeping me away from you anymore, even when mother nags in my tongue and sour thing meddles with my throat.) i have been emptier before but nothing matters anymore, i was here before i am not, now i must have known the taste i've lost because of mother or not because of her, it's actually nothing at all.
Not a joke.
What intentions?
Pea Sep 2014
My eye of storm; she
had taken my storm away even
before I was born.

Hot bath, food poisoning and sour breath;
I made it all
up inside my head.
How did you do it?
Pea Sep 2014
Where is my thunder?
It isn't under the bed
nor under my scalp.
Pea May 2016
when it's dark i can light a
candle & drink the wax
with the can of my first beer,
how stupid didn't i realize
it was your mouth all along.

when it's night i can wish
upon a shooting star & bury the
remaining flame in
my neck, like how you
did with your breath.

let me hold your hands, taste your lips
one last time. press your body
against mine, one last time.
dig me like a child
even if it hurts, or feels gross.

am i too heavy, am i trying to
pole dance on a mcdonald's straw?
i shouldn't have gone away
even if you'd told me to,
i should've clung to you oh

even more, even more.
a little thank you note:
i hadn't realized biting
my own hand was a form of self harm
until you told me to stop.
Pea Dec 2014
When i hide, you go
Seek. Why can't you understand,
As simple as that?
sit
Pea Oct 2014
sit
she does not do
kindness anymore
the back of her head
is made of atmosphere

her eyes cannot blink
she keeps staring
at her thumbs

her brain wants to get out
throat and mouth
and tongue is real
you can't see her

in black suits
she wears green for a reason
she does not do

kindness anymore
her legs
are gone
she lost it yesterday

in a pond
near her bed
she can't swim too far

her lungs
are made of flanel
and a stitch is enough

enough for them
to dive

she does not
do kindness anymore

her neck is a cage
and tongue
is real
Pea May 2014
An atheist experiencing deja vu
An atheist having fear of ghosts
An atheist struggling to live

An atheist meets an ableist
Saying personality isn't such a thing to be divided

I don't believe in you but I have no more than empty

Erasing faces, justifying phases
I am not a moon or I am
I am going to read The Bell Jar for the first time
Or never
I hope I was her

An atheist wishing reincarnation did exist
An atheist's head wrapped by plastic bag

Found you

Another medical pill I don't want to swallow
Triggering white clothes

I am not going to a psychiatrist
Ever
Sorry
Pea Aug 2014
Because my fingers are too
alien, just like how toenails on tulips
facing the clear, bright blue sky.

It is too easy to smile.

Because my fingers are now
a stranger's, just like the dead cells from my cheeks
I left on the road.

I only need more, more, more lamps and
clocks. Tick, tick. Tick.
I want to tick too.
Like a bomb.

Sometimes hair grows like sunflowers
just like how the brain
becomes soil.
You can find a worm or two,
thank them they make it fertile.

I am sleeping with my eyes open,
I'll let them dry. Let them dry
and make them your bookmark.

Just leave me
at your favorite part
so you can have a reason
to not come back.
Pea Sep 2015
i lack.
my eyes heavy.
my stomach no manner.
my feet don't matter.
throat dry.
nose greasy.
head funky.
hair a nest.
skin a test.
ears don't hear.
mouth no tongue no teeth.
i lack.
my heart cool and flat.
my chest a child.
celestial lungs.
carbon and one o.
sleepy sleep.
it's morning already.
Pea Aug 2014
hi, it's friday. i
am saying your name, but no
longer in prayer.
Pea Jul 2014
1/
I gave you hours
Not enough to run through veins;
So slowly absorbed-

2/
Coffee before nap
Tasted like salt o dry throat-
It is you again-

3/
I'd gulped tenderly
The you, o, bitter-salty--
Heartfelt sleepless night

4/
The dawn is coming
I can't ever erase you
I can't ever do-
5/
Thought of getting you
out of my mind yet you kept
appearing again-

And again and again
and again
Pea Sep 2014
I see Isadora and her scarf
and begin to think about the tire.
Or an ice cream made out of the stars,
though it would taste more like fire.

Was it fire or was it gas, when
a dance was the wildest?
Do not let them tame you, Budd. But you
have nothing to do with anything here,
so go **** your warning, Budd.
No one ever really heard you.
They only saw the erratic dance, spread
like wildfire, it burned their eyes but did not make ashes.
Even a candle could not be lit, the government just
did not want anything to be melted.

I see Christine and a box of silver!
My heart reeks of reptile or a motorcycle
or it is just an excitement of a .38 you know what and the vocabulary
isn't wide enough to rhyme sleepily but
let's see this together, Budd.
They put you under the label hero.

If I were them, I would not.

[Calm down, Sylvia. Yes, yes, your Dame Kindness
is so nice!]

I see Vincent and Ryan.

[Calm down, Sylvia. You were a deer, a peacock, a thorny tulip,
yellow thing with white skin.]

They are hungry, one was dead, another is still alive
with a smile ear to ear, disgusting as it does sound.

[ ]

I close my eyes and I see a sun and hear mountains,
river flows and swimming lungs,
the unconsciousness glows
like a midnight hunger.
But it was not the clock that ticked, it was all
in my head.

[Calm down, Sylvia. You are
now too pure already.]
Pea Jul 2014
I didn't know it is really possible
To laugh and cry at the same time
Without an exact cause

I think I am insane
But he told me I am not
But he didn't really know what
We were talking about

It was about me and me and me
How many me's?
I will count it later like the stars not the stairs
Fail and fail oh I can't even turn the lights on

The water tastes funny
The world is so funny today
Today is the right day to
**** all the catcallers in the universe or
Just ask God to dance something
(Don't you think that Heaven has its own traditional dance too?)
Or we can watch a grand, glorious
Dance battle
Between Michael and Lucifer
Then watch Maria and Joseph slow dance;
It would be fun
Trust me
And the best of all
We won't run out of good wine
(Yo, Jesus!)

Oh, I can't believe you!
Why don't you laugh?
I can't believe you are
Not laughing
You don't even cry! How boring;
How boring --
The heaven would get mad
So mad, so mad like Sylvia
Or Khadīja or Rebekah
Or don't ask me who they are!
Do you even really know who you are?

I think I am insane
There was a time when I am
Really sure that I am, but
Then I learnt that truth was not that simple --

He said, just like him, I think too much

What do I think?
I think I am insane
But he told me I am not
But he didn't really know what
We were talking about
Pea May 2014
She was a spider
Eaten by a butterfly
O, rainbow bursting!
Pea Apr 2016
my head hurts like cotton candy breath of a unicorn, beneath the rainbow in food poisoning glitter. we all talk like neighborhood fantasy, green grass and red tulips on the way to our houses, we can show our teeth to each other. let a pause take its time when sunday comes the day comes in blessings. do not fear for i am with you, forgive them for they know not what they do. mother, behold, your child. child, here is your mother. can you not? go find death before you die, conversations do not equal exchanging words, they all have to do with childhood dreams and granted wishes. which are nothing. look at my feet, they are the one closest to cinderella's only that i have calves like a horse and thighs like pumpkins. my biggest regret would be a decision if i decided to put on the label miracle, despite the raging womb of mother blows a fetus out of question. all motherhood is the same, only that i was born from a waning moon. be proud of your daughters, in a worst case scenario they probably take after you.
Pea Jul 2015
"It gets better."
"I cannot see that."

"One day you would."
"But when is one day?"

When a wound heals, it doesn't immediately disappear. "It takes time."
"I run out of time."

Time is a mere man-made concept, nothing more. "Please don't say that."
"Yeah, I knew I shouldn't." Innocence is somehow socially accepted yet purity and honesty aren't.

"I hope you understand." What's said and left unsaid. They all matter and I hope you understand. I really do.
I wish you did understand. "I do. I completely understand."
Socials
Pea Nov 2014
I will spend my life
wondering if fourth level
is high enough. Quick.
Pea Dec 2014
You saw me and you knew i was just a little bit sleepy but why did you burn the incense and cried in front of me?

[I wasn't dead... yet]

You begged and begged so i would make it easier for you but you did not know i am god and immortal and i know everything right and wrong, so

what if i chose the latter?

----

[I didn't, though.]
I won't free you from guilt and shame
I won't let your anger fade
But i let you die, i did
And so you did, you died
Along with our hair-
Dead on the floor
Pea Jul 2014
1/
i say i don't break things so easily
i just tend to make the neat messy

we both know it's not
anything so good to be proud about
i don't because i can't
i am so weak, fragile as early glaze
one touch and i scatter to water

2/
you are the king
and i would like to be your nightingale
but i am the kind of bird
that doesn't sing
i soar high and kiss the sky
for my king has spoken
that i long to fall
and yes i do

you are the king
and even with broken crown
your people still love you
but one thing i know
there will always be
the love that soon becomes burden
i know that being loved is such a burden
you are the king not god
only god greed for love
you greed for work you farmer king
your farmland spans acres
and acres and acres
until you can't recognize it anymore
because bigger picture is always confusing
that's how i long to fall
even when i think all i long
is to tear these wings off
to fall
you say do not for i would fall just because i am learning to fly
and i believe in you
i will fly and kiss the sky
and soar so high so i can see
your farmland from above
smalling and becoming smaller and smaller --

i will take pictures for you
or write it down for you
as i always do

3/
you didn't manage to save the bird
and it died

and i said, why care; it would die anyway
i meant it for i was also a bird
i would die anyway
but i would never forget this regret
even though you said i was right

you didn't manage to save the bird
but you saved the tree and me
and we will die
but before we do
we live
and it's all thanks to you

4/
i do not worry about you, let alone too much
i worry about the me in the east wing
on the tower above the plath heart

she loves thunders but doesn't want storms
and she is lazy even to talk or breathe
but she still wants to explore the kingdom
she wants a journey to the head
not to mess, not to change a thing
only to look around
to come again
later

but the king says no,
there is not pretty and full of anger
not much beauty to find there --
does he really think that she seeks beauty?

let me remind you;
even when i do, my king,
you don't doubt my purity.
Pea Nov 2014
Heaven is the way
I wrote those pretty letters
I've now forgotten
Pea Aug 2014
Mama do not find us
Do we have to beg?
We won't be found
We won't come back

River often cries
For all the unheard lies
Before the trees realize
Lie is lie no matter what size

O our shoes speak nonsense
The twelve swans you buried then
Now have come back to life
But no Mama we won't

No Mama we won't be home
For so long, so long it has no end
Mama now you can be strong
We have to go on our own

Mama don't get us wrong
We have to go on our own
We won't come back
We won't be home

For so long, so long it doesn't end
Just don't forget we won't be home
Just don't regret you have that womb
Mama now you can be strong
Now you can be strong
Pea Jul 2015
Was Tuesday, pale and gray
Hungry, stray, cold as the cat
It happened then, stayed
Come any near, you are slashed

If I had, I'd give you
Time, forever, mortal
Wings to fly, hands to pray
Eyes to close, lungs to shut

For another cry, good and dry
Without skin, melt a touch
No heat, no cloud to lift
Was Tuesday, all the saints' lips

What astronomer, the stargazer
What is it like from above?
What metaphor, such tongue
Warmth matters not any longer
"If you love a flower that lives on a star, it is sweet to look at the sky at night. All the stars are abloom with flowers..." -The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupéry-
Pea Sep 2016
The world is an earthquake today
Sways and swings, gently
With care and pleasant touch
Tosses its children like noodles
Children are the assets. They can't be
Killed just yet. Let's wait
Until the skin wrinkles, until the bones
And the loss of tissues are lovers

The world is an earthquake today
Shakes and thrusts, lightly. Softens
As it reaches the ground, as it leaves the
Focus that is in its children's hearts
How weak. We
Remain intact
Pea Sep 2014
"I once tried to fit my head and whole body in a Pringles can, just so
someday when I die, it would be easier for them to bury me."

It was something Sonja would say.

Though I begin to forget who she is, how she likes to think, what she
likes to say and do. I am erasing her, though all we ever were is a
dancer's footprints on the beach.

We have never had a proper dance lesson. I wonder what kind of lie it
was when I thought of buying a pair of nice, soft pink ballet shoes. But
honesty runs in my blood and that's why each month I bleed for seven
days.

I am gluing the butterflies to the wall. They would glow in the dark and
do with us what the Blue Fairy do with Pinocchio.

None of us has ever lied until we found the ruby. I feel that her nose is
becoming longer, longer than ever.

It feels ethereal, like we are one but separated. Light as an angel's step. I
cannot stop thinking about the dance.

Going to the beach, while the road is still moonlit.

Tonight the sky is clear. I can hear the crickets chirp. I am forgetting
how her voice sounds, how her hair falls, how her eyes open and close. I
think it's because I might have defenestrated her.

That is how the curtain insists to stay in red.

"I want to marry my earphone."*

I wonder if it is also something Sonja would say. I only remember her
as a yellow thing, small as sprout and dead as bark. She tried a lot to
kiss some metal and cold liquids, but her lips were too unreal and her
nails would not ever grow long.

I think she fell and broke a whole skull.

It is always our dream to be the sand.
Pea Jun 2014
Little by little
Quietly let the explosives out of her head
But what erected the stone
Wasn't an explosion

She wanted red cheeks
Instead of roses or lips
Pinkish breath
Instead of pale, white pills

Raisin brain
Pulled out nails, polished
Teenagers are so sweet

Left eye, right eye
Lend her some
To play, to play, to play
T-t-t-tremendous courage
Pea Jun 2014
The jasmine died when
it tried to walk
past the window.
"Don't let it flow!"

You heard
what the ebony said? Don't.
Just don't. They thought
deeply that a flower
never could be a river.
They regreted it.

Not anymore. Then later
they found Snow White
stabbing The Evil Queen. To death.
Blackened blood. Ach, du.
The apple is just
a metaphor.

The jasmine was a rabbit from the moon.
She used to
make mochi and babysit
the princess, Kaguya.
Now Kaguya is all grown up. All grown up,
just like your country's spacecraft.
(I am not
that honest, but honestly
I am jealous.)

Ich, ich, ich, ich.
I never would understand
the world of
literary.

(Oh, God.)

Do me a favor
and hate me.
Pea Jun 2015
Some nights she jumps like
A child, weak yet so cheerful--
She's too soft to break

Some nights she jumps like
Adult, angry and depressed--
Still too soft to break

She knows plenty of
Hows to use the skipping rope--
She is still so soft.
Don't **** yourself
Pea Jan 2017
let's skip lunch & get this over with
a little dance of a growing flower
one  at a time,  bland  & ignorant
girls tiptoeing, girls daydreaming
the corridor gives us chills
white, green, white,  green
for fear spellbinds,  we resist
will this be enough?

we never broke the walls
we found the door & it was open
w     i     d     e.  rather wide, so "off we
go"
?  where? where?
the fountain behind the library
*                          *was beautiful, sister
sure,      it was
Pea Oct 2016
Mum and dad look, i have a poem
It is a poem I've written and kept and hidden
It is a poem I'll get mad about if you take a peek
Mum and dad look. I have a poem
I honestly hate to mention you in my poem
I don't want any of you be in any of my poem
Mum and dad look. I have a poem
This poem is not for you, mum and dad
This poem is not about you, mum and dad
Why would you think i would sacrifice a poem for you. Mum and dad?
Why would you think i would keep you safely in the blanket of my fluffy words. Mum and dad?

Mum and dad look. I have a poem
I wrote my first poem at 4 and it wasn't about you so you were sad but you did not want to admit it so you made fun of me, right?
Mum and dad look, i have a poem
Mum and dad look. It is not only one poem
I have hundreds and hundreds poems. Mum and dad
Mum and dad look
Those are what I've written all these years
Those are what I've kept from you all these years
Those are what I've hidden from your eyes and mother tongues
Please
Just misunderstand me. It's enough
My english is irrelevant. Leave it alone
Mum and dad. Look i have a poem
Mum and dad look i have a poem
I have a
Mum and dad will you read my poems?
Mum and dad will you misunderstand them again and again just like what you do to me?

Mum and dad. Look i have
Mum and dad look i have
Mum and dad look i have

a poem
MUM AND DAD LOOK I HAVE A POEM
Pea Aug 2014
A mantra song I do not remember the
meaning it holds- repeated over and over-
in a lotus; no, thighs too big they become
forest, as tonight's dream swings with time,

as your tomorrow becomes my relief, as the
red star winks at the hidden moon; shy
****** curtain, laundry's cheap perfume,
underlined flaws and jellyfishes on a tiny

plate, melting candle, lavender, sweet green
tea and salted butter. Nostrils reek of *****,
bathroom break, do not be late, please wake
up early, earlier than ever. When the east

comes, let's fall asleep with the lights on,
we are not even the moon; souls do not need
sun, or vegetables, or green things growing
happily like someone's five year old- not

my parents', never- they lost the four, the
most important before a five- an incomplete
puzzle, cut neck of a giraffe, eyes black like
coffee black holes, who does not want that?

Chemical terms keep saying hello to the
tiles, count me in, let's have a drink, glasses
of sparkling mineral water. I prefer it clear.
River; never does flow- becomes a yellow

lake. Pretty pretty sands, no one is unique,
a diamond and a thousand more- a pearl, a
wounded shell, mermaid's sadness and a
knife- bubbles covered ocean; sunsets and

fireworks, a birthday, reality and a nymph
with a wing; the bells are calling us as if we
are not yet that cow, grasses greener than
green, numbers of dead things are

increasing, as heartbeats keep piling up like
the books you bought but never read- they
cry at night, especially when it is moonless
and cloudless, like tonight from the

baseball field; where the moths talk about
jealousy and sleepy handsome bats at nine
p.m.- marching chests, a lonely festival, a
ghost house; where lives begin- End.
Pea Aug 2014
Mostly it's chest pain whenever i
see your words, but today
it's different and fresh and new.

It's the kind of feeling of mild
starvation, softly hurting like a baby
kick from inside your womb,

a baby that you know is not yours.
It's a stomachache like hers, or just binge
eating extremely sour and spicy things

where the road will not stay still,
it races with the cars and traffic lights,
it stumbles when it loses, it curls the

pedestrians up inside it; just another way of
showing the stirred of love and despair,
the paint that closely resembles its pain.
Pea Oct 2016
my fingers are your eyelashes
they long to dance, yearn for the fall
you bat them, i follow
how attachment kills the most
insanitary are the fingernails i grow

ssshh
listen
there is something pouring
to the rhythm
what's that liquid doing between
mirage and insanity
Honey is what I see
Pea Feb 2019
my body is a hole
that is yet to be
carved
out
into your eyes i want to be ****** in
your palms and my sharp edges
can i make you bleed
can i make a mold for you
out of
my pain, my pain, my pain
i'm completely in
covered in flesh
come be my adipose
i'll empty you
out
skin be poked
from within
and giggles, bleak dimples
moon-eyed
the face is the outer space
dark. suffocating.
a graveyard of dead stars.
can we be bigger than what we are
can we suddenly stop to appear
hide
it's rampage
everywhere
i'm melting coming back frozen contaminated.
there's no fixing it
Pea Jul 2014
Mince me
Mince me
To small pieces
Small, small, tiny pieces
From toe to head
From toe to head
From ******* toe to head
I need to know the agony
I need to know hell
I need to suffer more, more
Most
So I could write about it
So I could write about it
So I could write about it
And make hearts bleed
And make faces waterfall
And make hearts bleed
And make faces waterfall
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