It's the calling of the evening
And the sky looks like it's bleeding
I set on the porch in the cooling of the air
And the worries of the day, I no longer care
Listening to the birds last songs of the day
Before they take wing and fly away
Darkness slowly creeping up
As I wrap my hands around my warm cup
The sky changes to a deepened blue
Such a beautiful hue
I simply love this time of day and the changes the sky goes through
The fireflies look like stars on earth
And the children know of their worth
The chase them all around the yard
Hoping to catch a few off guard
I watch them play shadow tag, and I start to reminisce
Of my childhood memories and all the things I miss
Of all the fun me and my sister had
But then my thoughts grow sad
About all of my family that has passed away
Like my mom and dad and my mood starts to decay
And mosquitoes start to buzz my head
Guess it's time to go to bed
And dream about my dear loved ones
Until the mourning sun

I thought I was kind
  That's not what other's find
I thought I was sweet
   But all they wanted was my treat
I thought I was smart
    Looks as though I've been caught
I thought I was truthful
    But others say I'm just spiteful
I thought I was beautiful
   Guy's say I'm bearly doable
I thought I was noble
    Sadly I find I'm only woeful
I thought I could stand
    I'm flat on my belly in the sand
I thought I could be loved
    That thought can be scrubbed
Every thought I've had is wrong
     No ******* need to go on

In this game there is no winner
There is only sorrow in the razor blades glimmer
But the sting of the flesh is a manageable pain
Unlike the one in my brain
That makes me quake
My hands to shake

But with the blade, my hands become steady
I brace for the slice, I get myself ready
Then I create my art, the flesh is my canvas
Most think this is total madness

But with the pain now in my flesh
For awhile my brain can rest
With the flow
My anguish goes
The thin red lines, allow me to survive another day
It just the price I pay

Let me be, or I'll explode
I'm not a possession to be sold
Don't enter my life
Thinking you can give me strife
Don't convince your self that I can't see
The way your trying to control me
Don't think your sweet pretty words
Will make my vision blurred
That I'll over look your snide remark
Or ignore the side of you that's dark
I'm not naive to you wicked thoughts
As you try to twist emotions up in knots
So don't walk away, run
Before I bring out my gun
And shoot you down
Like a rabid hound
And leave nothing to be found.
With a grin I'll bury you in the ground
Because you think your so hard to decode
But leave me be, before I explode!!!!

I don't need anyone to tell me it's so
Don't you think i already know
As a poet I ****
But I'll just keep pushing my luck
Putting pen to hand, and ink to paper
Getting the words down before they turn to vapor
I have to write it down in a hurry
Cuz the words fly by in a flurry
And some times they run right out of my mind
The madness that creates is hard to define
So forgive me just once if I fall out of line
And miss the rhythm and the rhyme

On the verge of innocence
But you was so meticulous
In your vicious wickedness
I had no idea of your fecklesness
Then you left me there to die
I could see the evil in your eyes
You tried so hard your evil to impart
But I'm not as weak as you had thought
In your wickedness I will take no part

Instead I'll forgive you and steal that power
That you thought over me would tower

For no one can take my empathy
For I have tasted the agony
Of many lifes and many years
I've cried a million tears

And I can see the pain in others
Even when they try to cover
With happy smiles that don't reach the eyes
I see the tears that they lock inside
And always I'll stand by their side
That in our agony we can connect
I'll never be one that will reject

For I've traveled the road their going down
Many times in fact, I know the bumps and the sounds
Even been chased by the devils hounds
But every time I do rebound
But with the passing years it's getting harder
And soon one day I know, I'll be counted as just another martyr

I don't need sympathy, I don't need pitty
I need some answer that are witty
This darkness is about the here and now
Problems seem to stalk and prowl
I don't know what to do
But to continue on till the day is through
But every day new problems arise
I lift my eyes up to the sky
I want to stand infront of God's throne
Whisper I know I'm nothing but a dog, but could you throw me a bone
Instead of releasing the hounds of hell
That come and munch on my fragile shell
I march through the day like a war weary soldier
Constantly looking over my shoulder
As new problems hunt me down
Throw me into the water watch me drown
To tired to fight the current
But here I am all burnt
Thrown into the fire once again
My soul will never mend
God please today look kindly on me
I've tried to look into the light to see
But it's to dim
I feel myself slipping and giving in

It's ok I understand
You just couldn't love something like this
I just want to say
You'll be missed

The shadows in my brain
That dance with all the pain
Only adding to the strain

The memories that they hold
That they crease and mold
Only leave me cold

The agony holds on strong
That it refuses to move along
Only leaving tears of all that's gone wrong

The shadows in my mind
That are so unkind
Only showing me what they find

A dream is crushed, a future uncertain
Maybe it's time to close this curtain
Love lies lost, because it was never found
All of this is so very profound
Because my only dream was for love to come around
But insteed I was used and abused
And it gave birth to my darkest muse
Now I'm to old for love to find me
My heart stoped looking and threw away the key
So broken I well always be

Baby I love you heart and soul
These feelings I can not control
Baby I love you foever and always
There is so much that I long to say

Baby your love is a shining brilliant light
That brightens up my darkest night
Baby your love is of the truest kind
In my most troubled times, you bring me peace of mind

Baby I will love you through whatever comes our way
I will hold you in my heart and arms every single night and day
Baby I will love you till time It's self no longer exist
And every time will be like the first we kissed

We have found in each other our soul mate
I finally believe in fate

Deep in my brain there's a room
It contains nothing but doom
Leave that door shut
Continue your strut

Be careful what you say
Don't look at me that way
Just keep on walking
I need none of your talking

You know how to get the soda out of the can fast
You shake it up and let it blast
Don't jar it loose
Don't drink the juice

Don't light the fuse
Just let it snooze
This is your last warning
Or there'll be mourning

I've slowly came to the realization
Of what makes me so craven
I now know what is killing me
It's not what I thought it would be
It's not the pain, agony, or strife
That is so ******* rife
That's been there all my life
It's not the monsters, demons, or tragedy
No it's not any of the things I thought it would be
No, I thought I was killing time, but I've realized time is killing me

I've slowly came to the realization
Of what makes me so craven
I now know what is killing me
It's not what I thought it would be
It's not the pain, agony, or strife
That is so ******* rife
That's been there all my life
It's not the monsters, demons, or tragedy
No it's not any of the things I thought it would be
I thought I was killing time, but now I see
Time is killing me

So I guess it was just your demons talking
Or was it YOU that was mocking
With my emotions you played
To you I was just prey
You knew that I was broken
But still those awful words were spoken
I LOVE YOU
But of course none of it was true
Why did you want to Make me blue
Why did you want to leave another scar
Is that really who you are
Another deceiver
Another meat cleaver
To chop parts of me away
Was I your dragon you had to slay
I'm in awe of why you done it
Guess you really didn't give a ****
I was already broken
Guess you just wanted a token

Let me fall
Let me hit the wall
It doesn't matter
Let me splatter
Let me sink
Below the brink
Don't hold me so
Just let me go
Memories in my head
Are ****** and dead
Shadows they cast
Are shards of glass
Release me
Can't you see
The oily stain
All the pain
I just lay and drool
Please don't be cruel
Let me end this war
I don't want to fight anymore

The light cut the dark like a steel bladed razor
Straight through the vain, straight to the heart of it
The truth has such a savory flavor
Once what was hidden in the depth of the pit
Is dragged into the light
Although it can be painful and tough like denim
Like a snake bite
It might still hurt,but it will lose it's venom
So let us air out our closets
Finally give them skeletons a proper burial
You know where to make your deposit
Let us all acknowledge our pain, and give it the proper memorial
For the truth is crimson red
And it bleeds us out in the dark of night
No need to carry it to our deathbed
Just put it in the light

My days spent with you
Are colored with the softest emotional hue
All in varying shades of blue
Of the sweet sadness that is you
A beautiful face graced with tears of dew
With the fullest lips that trembled when the pain grew
Your raven hair perfectly askew
To much of life's depravity you knew

To peer into those dark brown eyes
To witness their pleading question why
To hear that sorrowful quite sigh
Knowing that was your silent wish to die
Made this icicle heart melt and cry

There was nothing I could hide from your soul search gaze
It left my spirit lighter in so many ways
I no longer had to hide in the suns rays
I was free to dance in your darkening daze

Your beautiful sadness, graced you like pure black snow
Sure as the creek's slow flow
Goodness and love was all you would show

For your wounded soul knew
How misfortune could hunt you down and ensue
Leaving the feeling of happiness taboo
But with beautiful sadness you'd push through
As the universe's arrows struck and flew

You forever changed my vision
Unlocked me from the world's made prison
Loving you was not a choice nor a decision
You essence swept me into blissful submissions

It turned out to be my soul's deepest desire
To see the beauty in the muck and the mire
To accept the pain while in the midst of the fire
To wear sorrow with pride, like the robes of the heavenly choir

You allowed me to see beauty in the darkness
That the pain and agony does not tarnish
The beauty in the darkness remains regardless
If only to the darkness and it's beautiful view you harken

My feet no longer touching ground
Suspended here within the sound
Fading fast within the beat
Melting colors in the heat
Sounds on fire
Sweet desire
Song so clever
Listening forever

He grew up just him and his poor mother
No sweet sister, no rough and tumble brother
His Dad was M.I.A.
It happened in the usual way

But he didn't care
A cub never needs a father bear
His mother sufficed
Taught him wrong from right

He had it all figured out
He knew without a doubt
He had watched the rich kids laugh and joke
While in property he wallered and choked

So he studied hard and got good grades
In college he didn't party, never went to any raves
Got a corporate job, had a 3 figure income
He had money to pay bills, buy cars and then some

He took care of his mom till she passed away
He learned a great lessons on that rainy gray day
Money couldn't stop his mom from dying
Grown men where not above crying

The years quickly passed, he was married to his job
To those less fortunate he was a snob
On the streets he never gave the bums a secound look
If they had only took a page out of his book

He thought money was the way to happiness
Those he thought of as sad always had less
He had forgot about the lesson of the stone with it's dashes
Then the day came when the stock market crashes

He should of invested his time in a family
Instead of that money tree
For soon all his money was gone
Things in his life was going all wrong
His job disappeared, along with his home
Soon on the streets he had to roam

Now he was one of the despised
But on the streets he truly grew wise

Through hardship he found true friends
The ones that would help you to no end
For they know the pain of need
There was never any thought of greed

He was astonishingly amazed
That even with the poverty that he was grazed
He was happier now
Than chasing that cash cow

A good woman found him
His future then didn't look so grim
Years passed and they married
Over there rundown apartment threshold, her he carried
Soon it was babies in his arms
He truly knew now his vision of life had been wrong

Now he knew
Where it was that happiness grew
In the hearts of ones you loved and cared for
Being rich or being poor was both a chore
It's all just clatter
Unless to someone else you matter

Thin red lines they etch the skin
All to show the agony within Here we go once again
With no drugs to dull the pain
I let the razor glide thru my vain
Within my head I have no doubt
That with the blood the pain flows out.
Thats what my scars are all about
With the stream I won't explode
I won't implode
With every drop that hits the ground
Is one less scream that sounds
Within my head resides all the memories
They seem to go on for centuries
Endless ****** up realities
Cuz with all the pain I'm stretched to thin
So thin red lines will etch my skin

I welcome the company
In this unending sea
Of loathing and misery

I hate to hear you suffer too
But a lot of us do
We need each other to get through

No need to suffer in silence
This is no science
We live on in defiance

Of a world that's beat us down
Left a lot of us cowering on the ground
But look we're still around

Hear my souls song
It's sad and it's long
But still I crawl and go on

I know you can too I'm much weaker than you
Together we can get through
It's the best we can do

One day at a time
Making sense of what doesn't rhyme
Always something out of line

It's more than feeling blue
It just munchs and chews
It's an agony eating right through

Till on the inside your hollow
All that's left is the sorrow
Just trying to hold on till tomorrow

Dangling over that cliff by your fingertips
Over life you constantly trip
As your insides rip

I know how it is, I suffer the same
Sometimes there is no reason for the rain
That's when you feel you'll never be sane

The darkness comes out of the blue
It never leaves you a clue
But you know that's nothing new

It's better when there's a trigger
At lest it gives you something to consider
That way you know which way to set your sail's rigger

Sleepless night's are the worse
As the waves of sorrow you try to transverse
That leaves you feeling like your living under a curse

We can tread these waters together
We can hold on to each other whenever
The pain gets to much to measure

Under the soft white glare of the moon
I watched you saunter out of my door, my life to soon
The memories of you linger like your cologne
That helps mask the feeling of you being gone, me alone
I roam the house hearing your laughter
I miss our playful banter

If only you would have stayed with me that night
But only the moon seen that tragic sight
The black marks on the road is all that gives a testimony
The stars where the only witness to the ceremony
Of the Grim Reaper's touch
As your spirit he clutched
He escorted you away from the pain
Your car had skidded and flipped in the rain
My life will never again be the same

In you I had finally found
My bliss
I found my missing passion in you kiss
I found my joy for life in your arms
You chased away my demons with your charms
Your laughter repaired my broken heart
Your love making was a piece of art
Your comforting words in the middle of my despair
They where what I inhale
They where my air
Your heart was what made my blood circulate
How, oh how could this be our fate

Why did you have to go out that night
Why didn't I go with you, because this isn't right
I can't live without my missing parts
You had my heart
You where my soul
Why did you have to go

Why did you leave without me
Surly the fates could forsee
I would crumble, shatter, splinter into bits
For now all alone in our bed I sit

The tears all ran dry
I sit here and contemplate why
Feeling so **** numb inside
Wishing I too would just die
How sweet it would be to let out life's last sigh

I'll be just like that annoying magpie
I will stalk you, till you let my spirit fly
Grim Reaper let me clarify
I'm slitting my wrist and you know why

You know what that implies
My spirit you won't be able to deny
Let me kiss,my now empty life goodby
So I can once again be with my guy
In the plain beyond, in the sweet by-and-by

I want to tell you of a great friend of mine
We use to be togeather all the time
We were soul connected hard to define
And something even harder to find
We both battled depression in it was one of the ties that bind

One day I told him I just couldn't go on
He told me I'll be your diamond you can lean upon
Because he knew rocks cracked so he would be the strongest that he could
And the love we shared we both understood

He called me up one afternoon and said, this might be the day
I replied hold on I'm already on my way
We just sit there in silence in his darkened room
He said you can't fix me, in his voice I heard that doom
I said I know that dear
That's not why I am hear
I'm here to sit beside you
Till this patch of darkness you get through

A bullet he would of took for me and I for him
We loved each other to the brim
Friends forever him and I would always be
For there was no other friendship like ours through out the centuries

One day he could hold on no longer in the darkness and the pain
He never called me, he just stood in front of that **** train

He left a note just for me, I'm sorry *** your diamond finally cracked
And there's no turning back
But please forgive me and promise me to be strong
And instead of dying for me you must live on

So I silently promised him I'd do the best I could
Because I knew what he ment he had to go, I truly understood
I didn't know how I'd ever live without him but every  day I'd try
And at least once a day I still break down and cry

It's been a few years now but I'll never get over the loss of my soul connected friend
But I count my self lucky I still get a glips of him in his son's face when he gets that crooked grin

I'd drive a steak through your heart
But you don't have one
You knew from the start
You was only gonna play with me for fun
You said all the right words
Preformed all the right rituals
Around the edges you left it blurred
To me, you would become habitual
Like a cobra you left me hypnotized
With your hips swaying to the dance
The piercing gaze of your eyes
You knew I never had a chance
To you I was just a toy
Something to play with when you was bored
Something to fill the void
On your shelf you kept me stored
But I fell off your shelf and shattered
So you swept me to the side
After all to you I didn't really matter
You have left me cold and chide
Your useless toy tossed to the side

Don't talk to me
I won't talk back
Don't look at me
I won't look back
For I'm not here in the now
The reaper I had to allow
And out of the flesh I had to bow

So if you catch a glimpse of me
It's only my fleeting memory
My image in the mirror
Is only me trying to get nearer
To say one last time I love you
I so hope that you knew
And now you can see right through
But my ghost will haunt no more
I hope you find love, someone you can adore
Because I've danced through deaths door
For I have heeded the voices calling
And now I'm forever falling
I've thrown myself into the fire
My birth certificate has expired

The sun is shining bright today
     I wish the rain would go away
I feel the warmth within it's rays
     If only this coldness wasn't here to stay

By it's light I am blinded
       To the dark I am binded
In the sky a ball of fire
         By the darkness I was sired
It brilliantly lights the days
          But in darkness I'm forced to lay

The sun was God given
           My darker life has risen
I can see the light touch my skin
            Darkness is all that is within
It gives my skin a beautiful glow
             I'm to far down the rabbit hole

Here at the gates of hell again looking down
I don't want to ever be found
I'm so lost and alone
My friend their true feelings they've shown
They got to much of their own to bear
And they just want me out of their hair
I totally understand their view
So I silently take their cue
But I'm so sad I don't know what to do
There's a weight on my chest and I can't breath
And every pour in my body just grieves
The agony in my heart seems so unbearable
I'd just go to sleep if I was able
But insteed I'll just lay here staring at the ceiling
Wish I wasn't alone with every fibre of my being

One, two, three
What the **** is wrong with me

Four, five, six
I think my mind is kinda sick

Seven, eight, nine
Pretending that it will be just fine

Ten, eleven, twelve
Into my past, please dare not delve

Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen
My life's obscene

Sixteen, seventeen, eighteen
A ******* crime scene

Nineteen, twenty,
On the ground my blood is plenty

Close to death
A finale breath
Reaper's touch
A finale hush
Pain dissipates
In loved one's eyes reinstates

Blood is what connects us all
So why do we make each other fall
Blood is life
Even in the middle of all our strife
Blood is pain
That is why some of us let it drain
Blood is death
It spills out, with our last breath

My very best friend accidently OD it's not looking good for him.  Please if you belive please pray.  I don't want to lose him.  I'm the one that found him. His names Tyler

I'm facing down the beast
It's constant assault will never cease
It's ridged, but everything to it's will bends
Beyond this earth it transcends

It eventually leaves everything to rust and ruin
On and on it keeps on chewing
There is no stopping it, I'm only human
It's always there, always looming

In it's clutches there is nothing but change
It just loves to rearrange
Mountains it will not let stand
Oceans it will turn to sand

Every single thing, it touches and rapes
Even in the coffin there is no escape
It still munches and shapes

Dead and dying dreams, it leaves in it wake
Everything it will forsake
It's always there to leave it's mark
In the light or in the dark

So while we're here ring the bells, let them chime
While there's still a mountain, climb
After all, you can't change time

Mister Sun light my way
You've been away to long
In the dark is where I've stay
Sorrow is my only song
I could use some fun today
But I fear soon I'll be gone

I'm so tired of the tears
I'm so tired of the lies
I'm so tired of the fears
I'm so tired of all the sighs
I'm so tired of all these years

I just want to lay down and quit
I don't want to stay here
I just want to exist
Life is what I fear
It only gives me ****

Cut my wrist, make them bleed
Throw this shity live aside
Swallow these pills so I no longer breath
I just so very much want to die

I'm facing down the beast
It's constant assault will never cease
It's ridged, but everything to it's will bends
Beyond this earth it transcends

It eventually leaves everything to rust and ruin
On and on it keeps on chewing
There is no stopping it, I'm only human
It's always there, always looming

In it's clutches there is nothing but change
It just loves to rearrange
Mountains it will not let stand
Oceans it will turn to sand

Every single thing, it touches and rapes
Even in the coffin there is no escape
It still munches and shapes

Dead and dying dreams, it leaves in it's wake
Everything it will forsake
It's always there to leave it's mark
In the light or in the dark

So while we're here ring the bells, let them chime
While there's still a mountain, climb
After all, you can't change time

With bullet like words I'll let it rain
So everyone can ******* pain
Let them crumble under my strain

Someone needs to ring the bell
I already fell
All my life I've tasted the flames of hell

Hit after hit, bout after bout
No ones there to help me out
With deafened ears they hear my shouts

I've ran out of options, ran out of luck
Now I'm being ****** in, I'm stuck
Will no one brave the quicksand and pull me up

Look at the mess they made
Not helping a friend that could've been saved
I hope they never come to my grave

I'M DONE!!!!

Out of sight, out of mind
That's how it goes, it's so unkind
Won't someone spare some time
To see if I'm doing fine
No one calls
No one cares at all
They know what happened
They know I'm at the end
Guess I really don't have true friend
I'm well into the descend
Pile it up, stack it tall
See how steep I can climb before I fall
Flat on my face, already there
But look no one cares
There's nothing I can do for them
I was just their whim
**** THEM

You carry with you a blackened sky
Not everyone can see it, but it's in your eyes
It's in the very heart of your being
I hear the sorrowful song your singing
You hide it well
Your personal hell
But I have my own, I can tell
I can feel your pain's tide ebb and swell
It threatens to pull you under
I too hear that thunder
We are creatures connected by darkness
The beast of Hell have marked us
You try to hide this from the world
As your life spirals and whirls
It's exhausting, I know for a fact
For everday your taken aback
Living life under that blackened sky
You can hide it, except from your eyes

If the sign on my door says "Don't come in, call 911"
Just turn around, walk or run
Knowing that my demons won

For many years I fought this war
I'm bone tired, down to my core
Gonna let my demons settle the score

I'm thinking only of your sanity
You don't need to see the depravity
Of the way I set my self free from gravity

You don't need to see the gore
So I'll just let you know, I am no more
As I place this sign upon my door


DON'T COME IN, CALL 911


©Pauline Russell

The count down has begun, imploding inside
Memories run rampant, bump into, collide
Explosions hidden just behind the eyes
Self destruction lies just under skin and a grin, a worn-out guise

Most never caring, never looking any deeper, tell them your fine
On the outside making it all perfect, every thing looks aligned
Self destruction, grief, and sorrow combine
With tremendous anguish and pain I've been assigned

Desperately reaching for a caring hand to guide
Want of love and hugs are implied
But my cries are ignored and denied Anger shows it's hand, as I shove everything to the side

Why is it on my heart this torment that lingers, forever to stay
All the while these rapidly changing emotions I'm trying to slay
Pushing everyone and everything away
Loneliness settles in for the long harrowing stay

Only love will make the sorrow depart
Every fiber of my being pleads for that fresh start
It will only take one caring heart
To picking up pieces as I fall apart

©Pauline Russell

After all the carnage I did imparte
The gypsies thought I had mastered the dark art
When I left that  wretched gypsy caravan
Anyone that had wronged me, there blood spilled on the sand

With their tongues like parchment
They told darkened stories, and I was their target
And as I slowly roamed the land
To seek out about my mother first hand
The villagers seen my burnt skin
And knew I was the one the gypsies said carried great sin
Every human treated me badly, to scared to get close they threw their stones
So I sought out a place where no human ever goes

I found a forest but to sunny for my mood
It had to be darker, it had to be crude
So I started out simple and enchanted the vines
I made them all twist entangle and entwine
next was the trees I made them grow branches to cover the sky
so even from the keen eye of the hawk I could hide
But not done with them yet the bark I made bare
Thorns that would reach out and scratch and tear
The sand I made quiken to entrap in and ensnare
So anyone caught in my wicked trap could no longer breathe the air
My wonderland was soon renamed the Black Forest
all that dared entered claimed they heard the demon's chorus

And so my legend was born
The gypsies through their stories warn
Of a dark hearted witch that the fires couldn't burn
Even though their fires burnd white hot and the coals they churned
That I the black hearted witch had escaped and layed waste
In despite their fear they had given chase


So now alone I roam my beautiful dark place
With the gypsies warning story no one will give chase
But in my roaming before the forest I had heard a great tale
Of a witch who had put her baby under a spell
That upon it was put a curse
That would work in reverse

There is an emotional graveyard in my back yard
It's for all the feelings that die, and I discard

Innocence was the first to fall
But isn't it always that one for us all

Happiness fallowed soon after that
Because my life quickly turned to crap

Trust was the next to bite the dust
For self preservation it was a must

Ignorance was the very next one
I swiftly learned life's lessons
Under the gun

Love has entered and been dug up from the ground
But each time I bury it a little father down

Sympathy can also out there be found
It's right over there it's the biggest mound

Desire and all the stuff I crave
Is right here in this shallow grave

Lust that I mistook for love one to many times
Deep is it's hole it was such a vicious crime

Joy also has it's place among the markers
It couldn't be saved by the therapist or doctors

Anger was the last that went underground
I just couldn't take any more of it's horrific sound

You'll notice pain, agony, and strife
Very much still have lots of life
So also is fear and my darkness
I have placed their markers after all I'm heartless

And that last little plot way over there
Under the Weeping Willow dug with such care
It's stone only has dates and dashes
That's for my shell when it finally crashes
For it will be hollow void of all emotion
To lie in that grave will be such a promotion

The ground beneath her is shaking
Her world again is rearranging
The stars and moon are falling, crashing to the earth
The sun to light had given birth
But the sun imploded
Leaving no motive
So there she stands in the inky black nothing
Eye's wide open, but seeing not a thing
No voices, not even in her brain
It all happened so fast it was insane
One minute a beautiful blue sky day
The next it all lay in decay
Blackness so heavy it's hard to move
But slowly she makes her way, she finds a groove.
In her pocket she finds the pills
To cure the oppressive ills
She finds a place beside a dark shattered star
Lies down beside it, they both are marred
She thows her arm around it felling only coldness
But at lest to something it is closeness
For life bought on this destruction
So from the dark star she will get her fluxion
Because it will never leave her side
As long as she has money to buy

On my way out watch it flow
Just one more poem before I go
I haven't much time
So just one last rhyme
It won't be long before I'm done
It would of been faster if I'd used a gun
But I wanted to see the blood run
For every drop there is a story
Of pain and agony, there is no glory
I'm growing weak
I think I accomplished the feat
One more line, my world was bleak

I've slowly came to the realization
Of what makes me so craven
I now know what is killing me
It's not what I thought it would be
It's not the pain, agony, or strife
That is so ******* rife
That's been there all my life
It's not the monsters, demons, or tragedy
No it's not any of the things I thought it would be
No, I thought I was killing time, but I've realized time is killing me

Born of cosmic dust and fire
The curse on her would never expire
She had been born out of rage and fear
Her mother taken at the point of a warrior's spear

Given to the gypsies to raise
It was the start of her dark days
Passed around from man to man
Each one imprinting their own brand
Making her feel less than
Her skin is burnt with all their marks
They scream out to the spirits dark
One kind gypsy branded one to let the bright rebound
So even in darkness, the light could be found

She had her mother's chants
She had her father's rants
And the agony of her years made her something to fear

She was not afraid of pain
To her that was a daily game
Don't threaten her with death
She'll show you how easy it is to take that last breath
She begs for it just as much today as then
Her want for the reaper's release is written from within

They thought the darkness would take her over
It would make it easier for them to control her
But that one magic symbol for the light was powerful
It would not let the darkness be her downfall
She learned the chants, she studied the plants
She knew what all the talismans ment
And how to control and use the elements

Till she was strong enough then she broke free
And the gypsies in terror before her flee
She stepped over the bodies of those that had done her wrong
She did it singing the sweetest song
That made even the bravest of them wish their life would not be prolonged

She now wanders the woods clothed from head to toe
So all of the symbol branded scars don't show
With people she has no use
Alone she suffers no abuse
She prefers the solitude
She's always in a sullen mood
The curse on her is still to be showen
Because no good deeds has she yet sown

Ohhh this pain has got to stop
Rip it out it's just to much
It's white hot
But cold to the touch
I don't care if it's my heart or my soul
It's just got to go I don't care if it leaves a hole
It might be my brain
All that gray matter
Either way it's a strain
I think I'm gonna shatter
I can't take it any more
Can't you see the fall
Can't you see me lying on the floor
Can't you hear my call
Everytime you open the door
You keep banging my head
But just keep stepping over me
Never hearing what I've said
You just keep that look of glee
As I lay here and bleed
For truth is crimson red
All those demons that you feed
That alone should fill you with dread
That karma will soon be coming for you
And for once I'll be the one laughing
For your demons will pursue
And you'll be the one that's cracking

She slowly started to get undressed
Her body ached for his gentle crease
His unhurried decent between her thighs
He passionately looks into her eyes
In his rhythm her hips start to rise
As he softly starts to slide
She loves the motion of the glide
Silent is their passion cries
Their body's mirrored every move
They were in the movement of loves perfect grove
They kept perfect time and rhythm
An explosive ****** was a given
Exhausted and satisfied they laid in each others arms
Him just admiring her womanly charms
As she snuggled up and whispered, "babe that couldn't register on any flow chart"
"For that my love, was true art"

I've felt it coming on for days
That ******* Dog is on his way
Nothing I did made his course sway

Why can't he just slumber
But deep in his throat I heard that rumble
I know I'm going to take a tumble

On the sharp rocks of life I'll be dashed
A bone crunching crash
It'll be fast

He pounced on he this morning
Now I'm in mourning
I seen him coming I had warning

In his big strong jaws he'll rip me apart
He'll devour my soul, my heart
That will only be a start

As he guards my hole
Not letting me go
My agony grows

Little girl lost
Always paying the cost
Look where she was tossed