How many gunshots will it take for you
To dismantle your pride
And take your pistol out of your own mouth,
Lay it on the side,
And call it illegal?

And is it true that, while I let letter boxes
Give me love-bites,
You just throw newspapers into front gardens
And hope the headlines creep in
Under the doors and through the keyholes
Or is that just in Hollywood?

Your diversity is incredible,
Vivacious and arching as a rainbow
Or a spice rack
But isn’t is sometimes sad to know
That, by your vastness,
You can stand in Kansas
And never see the sea?

Why do you desperately chase after
Our accents and pedestal the concept
Of Afternoon tea?
As I recall you were less fond
Of us and our tea leaves
Back in Boston, 1773
And while I'm at it
Could you clarify what part of Britain
Your British Accent comes from?

I can't believe I ever wanted you
I can't believe I ever needed you
I can't believe I ever cared for you
I can't believe I ever loved you
I can't believe I still do.

This year I vow to change for the better but remain constant in my being. This year I vow to embrace this body, this skin, this figure, the only one I will ever have. I vow to love myself before I do anyone else. This year I vow to listen. I vow to be open ears and heart. This year I vow to be patient, to be still and trusting. I will not let the past spoil expectation. I will be as hopeful as I am eager for opportunity. This year I vow to not take health for granted, to appreciate the existence of it when good and accept the challenge when it is not. This year I vow to let nothing break me. Not disease, depression, or person. I will not fall victim to weakness. I will do my best to be as human as I can possibly be while also being understanding of human flaw. This year I vow to not judge. I vow to welcome the unknown with outstreched arms and a wider perspective. This year I will not hold on to mistakes with closed fists. I will let go of what is not meant to stay. This year I will try and do all of the things I've sworn I'd do a million times before. This year I will try again. This year I will try my best.

Sometimes,
like right now,
I feel as if the only true value I posses
is my soul.
And,
to be completely truthful here,
I know I don't have the first clue
what that is.

So...

I'm gonna hang onto it
for as long as I can.
Even if it serves as no earthly purpose
But
to ******* those dam fairies.

I need to get layered!

I love you
and you love me.

But I love like thunder and lightning
and you love like the calm before the storm.

You are waiting for the call
and I yell to you once you’re already gone.

Do you ever come across that feeling of melancholy?
When you’re going too fast on that midnight trolley
Your head starts spinning in unfamiliar directions
While you’re left there, looking for defections

Do you ever feel like you aren't enough?
Everyone thinks it’s all a big bluff
But deep down inside you know it’s true
The whole world around you starts to turn blue

Do you ever feel that obligation?
When in school you want certification
Gaining the card that classifies you as
That one guy who is cooler than jazz

Do you ever feel pressured to fall?
Into a love in which you can’t call
A pointless relation clouds your mind
Pushing you farther from what you might find

Do you ever feel like you try too hard?
To fit into a jigsaw, but instead bombard
Looking for a clique that suits you best
Coming to feel like you’re better than the rest

Do you ever feel like you can’t be found?
Lost inside your own impound
Deceived by self-inflicting thought
You continue to feel even more distraught

Do you ever just want to run away?
Leave behind your past and go astray
Forget the life you lived at home
And elsewhere discover a new throne

Do you ever feel like life is a game?
A game in which you can’t come to claim
The honorable title as the winner
Settling down for the same old dinner

Do you ever wonder if you’re treated unfair?
You live thinking that you cannot bear
The dreadful thought of being singled out
Making you want to scream and shout

Do you ever feel like nobody understands?
Like you’re the only one stuck within the strands
Trapped inside an ignorant state of mind
Only to come all this way and find…
That you were wrong all along
It was all just a mixed up song
These steps you take throughout high school
Turn you into some kind of rotten fool

One day you will come to see
That it was all part of the journey
You’ll take it in and walk down your path
Knowing that the worst of the wrath—
Is over…

-David Rombouts-

Sometimes I wonder if
I would actually love you if
You actually loved me

Rainy days are where
I fold myself into a pillow
Wrap body in blankets until
I am a cocoon of warmth
Mismatched and look
Absolutely ridiculous
I proceed to glue
Myself to couch and
Reread every book I've ever
Loved until my eyes
Hurt from looking for
Too long and then
Watch movies that make
Me cry because the sky
Is also crying so
It's okay for me to do it too
Sometimes during a
Storm I will wallow in
Self-pity while filling my
Soul with macaroni and cheese that
Is shaped like characters
In order for children to
Like it better
I like it better too like that
On rainy days like today I
Don't go outside or
Leave the house because
I hate when my socks get wet
That is the worst
Thing in the world
Occasionally when it
Rains I will write every
Poem I have left inside of
Me because it is much easier
To pour out everything
When you are not the
Only one who is wringing dry
And empty
I wonder if the
Ocean likes storms
As much as I do
I've been meaning to
Ask but I keep forgetting to
It is a great excuse to
Stay inside and do
Nothing at all
I love doing
Nothing at all on days
Like today
Rainy days are when I can
Pretend it is always this
Loud and quiet at
The same time it
Is always too loud and
Too quiet but
Never at the same time
So I remain a
Curled ball of feelings
With the sound of
Nature behind me
Rainy days are
The only days
When it is considered
Okay to
Be this way.

I thought I had a thousand words
Folded, like cranes, to gift you
My mouth cannot make their shapes,
They taste of regret, which
Unsettles me, you
Once as familiar to me as
The veins that decorate my
Wrists that I offered you, soft,
Meatless and vulnerable, I
Handed you a cunning blade and
Prayed you would not cut too deeply, or
Too casually, with disregard, I
Took my time in concluding that
A weapon must be passed, with
The blade turned inward, toward
The one who would be wounded most harshly, were they
To stumble and fall upon the cutting edge of trust.