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 Sep 2018 Ooolywoo
Penguin Poems
If want was water,
I would be drowning, my head under completely
and my oxygen quickly depleting.
If confusion was cold,
My fingers would be numb and I wouldn't even
have a coat to ward off the freezing.
If youth was you,
It would be slipping away by the second,
And I can't get a hold to stop it.
Now,
my air is gone,
I'm shivering to the bone,
and can't keep a hold on.
But, this is only a poem:
I know I'm not suffocating, subzero, or slipping.
But I can't help but feel like the more I write,
the farther I get from reality
and the closer I get to metaphor mortality.
 Aug 2018 Ooolywoo
Ajit Saigal
I want to hold my head up high
I want to fly till I touch the sky
I want to make my angel smile.

Days will be hard and nights cooler
Life won’t draw your card any more
The storm outside would rage on & on
Yet your music would raise me strong.

The wounds keep bleeding
The tears keep falling
I may not matter any longer
But I promise to not let them monger.

Nothing can glimmer your dazzling light
Believe me, you can scale pristine heights
You are the brightest star ever
Just let it shine sharp and clear.

Keep smiling
Remain happy
Brighten up my Angel of Joy
You will always be my Phantom of Delight.
This was written for my little daughter whom I hadn't met for 6 long years.
My last memory of her flashed & paused,
at me kissing her tiny forehead,
she was just 1 month old then, sleeping peacefully on her mom's lap,
cuddled within caring silken arms.
// she falls in love the same way that she falls apart; quickly and all at once.

tumbling into his outstretched palms with a startling intensity, his fists clench and she cries.

she wants him to hurt her, leave smouldering bruises around her neck. Force your fingers down her throat and make her beg. maybe this love; choking sounds and blood.

it’s almost funny, the fact that she still hasn’t learned yet; make him your everything and you will be left with nothing.

and it feels like hell, almost romantic.

her lips part in the dimly lit room, gasping for air.

that’s the thing, there is nothing he could do to her that she wouldn’t do to herself. hold a knife to her neck and watch her soul drip from her mouth

one rib at a time you snapped them all like twigs and complained that she made too much noise. too much,

too loud.

lungs swimming in fluid yet she breathes out flowers, because that’s what pretty girls do; that’s what you wanted isn’t it babe? beauty. perfection.

don’t let him inside your head, keep him between your thighs or else everything around you will become white noise; fading into the background.

go on, romanticise it. i dare you.

force its unwilling bones into a metaphor or a simile.

pretend that we fall apart into beautiful, tragic spectacles and simply glue the broken fragments back together

she sat in the dark with a cup of tea between her shaking hands, resisting the urge to split her veins over the white walls and string her organs from the ceiling like fairy lights.

wanting to die in the most violent of ways is a lot less convenient than it seems; an unholy addiction of the rawest degree.

darling, i’m sorry he made you feel like you are hard to love,

because loving you is the easiest thing in the world //
 Jul 2018 Ooolywoo
River
I look over my shoulder
To all that I have lost
I look into the mirror
And see all I have become
And I can’t quite say I’m satisfied
With who I’ve grown to be
I just remember all the useless striving
And now all the monotony
I’ve always been searching for something more
But what if this is it?
What if my life is just old wounds and festering sores
With no real hope and no real bliss?

I think I know what I want
But when I get it I push it away
Or I run
My mind is vague and tired
My heart seeks for relief
I’m stuck in patterns that will result in my demise
I just want to experience life again through a child’s eyes
But I know too much now
I’m cynical and guarded
My heart just wants to love but I’m hurting

I can’t feel anything too deeply anymore
I smile, but what for
It’s merely a mask to conceal the endless yearning within me
And all the regret lurking inside me
My pain echoes like a dull drumming
No one seems to understand me
So I just keep running
Maybe, one day
I’ll run right into
What I’ve been hoping for
I’ll run right into the bright warm light of the sun
And it will absorb my misery
It will illuminate my small life with expansive love.
Under every vain pursuit I’ve chased
Has been the intrinsic need to be unconditionally loved.
 Jul 2018 Ooolywoo
Ammar
This Hurts
 Jul 2018 Ooolywoo
Ammar
I want to mumble
and stumble upon words
that I haven't used
since you left
but these words
they linger somewhere
on the tip of my tongue
I want to say
I love you
I want to tell you
to come back home
but I know I shouldn't
I try to hold back
but these words
they are too sacred
to be repeated
or to be left
unsaid
and I don't know how but
I let them slip off my fingers
somewhere between the texts
somewhere between hello
and goodbye
I tell you I love you
and I try
to take it back
but I try not to
and I know you noticed
but I'd rather you pretend
it was left unseen
I'd rather you pretend
to not notice
the tears
that flow down my cheeks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDwVsoIen3k

I miss that girl so much and shes so close yet so far away
things are exactly as they were but everything has changed
this hurts
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