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147 · Apr 24
+/-
OnLithium Apr 24
+/-
I want to swallow pills
Put me to sleep yet
I can't even swallow the guilt

I want to hang from some rope
Couldn't tie the knot
Just to keep you close

I want to inhale car exhaust
I'm still choking on you
And your perfumes

I want to jump off a bridge
Just fall so slowly
But I fell so long ago
145 · Dec 2018
Ensared
OnLithium Dec 2018
Heartbreak
Fueling my hands
With the richest
Form of
Getting lost
I am nothing
But the words
That I write
And now
Reality has
Blended
My life
Into dreams
Altering them
Into nightmares
I am drowning
In drink
Silence
And subtleties
The unsaid
Can’t cry
Empty eyes
And
Photographed smiles.
142 · Jun 29
Last Laugh
OnLithium Jun 29
I love everything
About not having social media
I worry less
Don't waste my time
Yet
The biggest drawback
Is I can't rub in your face
How happy I am
With someone else
139 · Jun 7
fidus Achates
OnLithium Jun 7
Daydreaming
About saying hello again
And never saying goodbye

Daydreaming
About seeing you smile
And it never fading away

Daydreaming
About playing in the stars
And never coming back down
138 · Jun 3
45
OnLithium Jun 3
45
If I had less time
Could you or would you
Love me for the rest of it

If I met you in the afterlife
Could you or would you
Even try to find me

And deep down I know
You could but wouldn't
But I have to ask what if
131 · Aug 2
(my) parallel
OnLithium Aug 2
in this lifetime
i am yours
in another lifetime
someone else's
i am aware
of the others
if only faintly
and i hate to speak
for the others
but this one with you
by far the best
127 · May 23
34
OnLithium May 23
34
I take all of my sins
And bathe in them
There's no washing them away

And all of the voices
Remind me of everything
There's no setting them free

And all of my regrets
Know I'll never make peace
There's no coming to understanding
125 · May 28
《》《》《》
OnLithium May 28
A caterpillar
Is at its most
Dysfunctional
Right before
It becomes a
Butterfly
125 · Jul 12
818
OnLithium Jul 12
818
To feign ignorance
That the world
Just operates how
It does
When the signs
Are clearly there
For some
Its coincidence
For others
Its fate
For me
Its numbers
Such as 818
818 is one of my favorite numbers with my one of my favorite meanings.
124 · Aug 13
Tendrils
OnLithium Aug 13
Intertwined
Like two plants
That shouldn't
But as long
As the gardener
Doesn't care
I'll hold you
Till we both
Turn to rot
122 · Mar 3
Thorny Diadem
OnLithium Mar 3
I misprise who is't I am
I misprise who is't I am not
I seeketh changeth
I don't seeth how it's probable
Viewing as I'm the same p'rson

I am who is't I am I supposeth
I am the tears yond I caused
To hie down thy visage
I am the blood yond I've spilled
Through callous action
I am the weight of mine own sins
And I knoweth
I am running out of tears myself
I am running out of blood to keepeth Pouring into lifeless conditions
And I'm getting awfully heavy

Forgetting what once wast
And hating what forsooth is
I prayeth I am not the villian
But if I am to beest
I'll rememb'r the chapters yond
Madeth me
121 · May 5
06
OnLithium May 5
06
If you say
You mean it
Then I'll say
I understand

If I say
It was my fault
Then you just
Let go of my hand
120 · May 21
31
OnLithium May 21
31
My eyelids are so heavy
I know I should just sleep
But with these ideation I have
I worry I won't wake
Guess a majority of me
Would be okay with that
Maybe thats the best way out
To just quietly drift into the deep
119 · May 28
41
OnLithium May 28
41
my defense mechanisms
have not defended anything
they have only hurt others
and led me astray

i feel like i have to justify
everything about me
to anyone who questions
and its getting obstructive

you seem so far from this
cause ive shut you out
and now youre hurting
as i sequester myself
119 · Jul 28
「」
OnLithium Jul 28
To suffer after pain
Is to simply experience
Pain in suffering
I constantly bring myself
To think about everything.

What hurts me
has hurt me
will hurt me
118 · Apr 11
-
OnLithium Apr 11
-
I can't find my worth
Don't know who I am
No idea on where to go
Or what to change
I don't even recognize
Who I once was
But it's clear
That's who I'll always be.
118 · May 10
20
OnLithium May 10
20
Give me your praise
                                 I'll give you my days
Give me your demands
                               I'll give you my hands
Give me your sickness
                            I'll give you forgiveness
Give me your best
                           I'll give you nothing less
Give me your everything
                                I'll give you anything
116 · Jun 12
67
OnLithium Jun 12
67
I wanted to be
Somebody else's
Before
I wanted to be
Yours

So don't let me
Slip through your grasp
116 · May 6
×-×
OnLithium May 6
tunnel vision
imperfect decision
misty eyes
nauseating lies
cigarette ashes
tranquil fracas
115 · May 10
19
OnLithium May 10
19
you make me love so much more
than just you
im in love with the morning light
in love with getting better
in love with the high
that i won't live down
in love with this love
115 · Jun 10
63
OnLithium Jun 10
63
I wear goofy
Cause sad isn't in style
And I may not be a comedian
But I'm worth your while
I have memorized
Too many dad jokes
To not make you smile
And when the fun is over
I'll go back to the gloom
Till I can be the idiot
Who lights up a room
115 · Jun 12
GB
OnLithium Jun 12
GB
Its the way
You praise me
Call me yours
Break me down
In the best way
You make me weak
And feel strong
So throw me
And hold me
Call me
Well you know
114 · Jan 20
Ci Provo
OnLithium Jan 20
I have reached the bottom of my soul
And seen the peak of my ability

The wasteland of trauma
Aided by my vices
Has led me to fear what is inside

I have climbed on broken glass
And seen the blood dripping
Only to not have moved an inch
And to have only hurt myself

I now have the wisdom
"Why am I climbing on broken glass?"
"This cannot be the only path."
I have turned around
Maybe I'll find flowery meadows
114 · Jul 25
y.m.e
OnLithium Jul 25
Wanting to drown in your love
And float in your dreams
Wanting to die in your arms
And live in your thoughts
Wanting to get lost in your eyes
And be found in your heart
Wanting to be helpless to your touch
And thrive in your grasp
112 · May 15
22
OnLithium May 15
22
I can't get away from you
You break rules and still
I keep letting you play
I try to shut you out
You beg and apologize
I keep on circling
And I have yet to realize
You're the drain
112 · Jun 10
61
OnLithium Jun 10
61
"I'm trying to be like you."
I didn't know
How to respond
So the first thing
That flew out of
My stupid mouth was
"You've got a long way to fall."
109 · May 2
05
OnLithium May 2
05
I wisheth to perish
To spareth mine own legacy
I wisheth to beest f'rgotten
F'r who is't I once wast
And not beest remembered f'r
The ghastly thing I've becometh
109 · Sep 2024
My Thief
OnLithium Sep 2024
How could you
Steal my breath
My attention
My heart
In one
Simple glance.

And sometimes
I like to think
That what you did
Was intentional
That maybe you wanted to
And that you still want to
That maybe you needed to
And that you still need to.

Maybe you could be something
Somebody special
My somebody
But you will always be remembered
As the thief that stole from me.
109 · May 9
17
OnLithium May 9
17
How didst I turneth
To this monstrosity
I am ev'rything
Yond makes me sick
I won't receiveth holp
So it shall beest up to me
To just p'rfect
This disease
108 · May 10
21
OnLithium May 10
21
you came in through a leak
filled me drip by drip
everybody is judgemental
if you're full of yourself
but im full of someone else
108 · Aug 7
puke
OnLithium Aug 7
I tried to
show me
Why I
loathe me
I sit in
the dark
Cause I can't
stand me
Doesn't matter if
I say
I'm sorry
to myself
There's no
forgiving me
I know that
the thing
That disgusts me
is me
107 · May 10
OnLithium May 10
I may be a hopeless romantic
But you know that better than I do
You make me a cliché
And you do it just so easily
I don't know if I'm doing this right
But you know I simply cannot hide
106 · Jun 10
Kalliope
OnLithium Jun 10
One of nine Muses
"Beautiful voice"
The patron
Of poetry
And heroic song
Homer's inspiration
Never forget who you are
106 · May 9
14
OnLithium May 9
14
Pull me closer
Push me farther
Lift me up
Let me down
Tell me the truth
Let me live in our lies
104 · May 19
29
OnLithium May 19
29
I live by the pen
And die by my words
I can't figure out
Which fate is worse
To be ******
By what you have read
Or to be slaughtered
By what I have said
104 · Jul 26
to and fro
OnLithium Jul 26
My day
Before I get time
With you
Is anticipation
And the night
After you are gone
Is recollection
103 · May 15
23
OnLithium May 15
23
You and I tried
We hate ourselves
And love each other
Not really.

You and I lied
We tell each other the truth
And wouldn't hurt another
Not really.

You and I
Not really.
102 · Apr 28
○------●
OnLithium Apr 28
Cigarettes in the dark
Sharp inhales and muted thoughts
Extensive conversations
Soft exhales and harsh words
101 · May 16
26
OnLithium May 16
26
i tried to stop this
way before it even began
you keep playing god
taking away all that is right
punishing me
for who knows what
do you remember me
i was once
just a set of atoms
in your universe
that you never recognized
now im just
something to play with and break
101 · Aug 17
Incurable Romanticist
OnLithium Aug 17
It's the way
You walk by me
Or the way
You talk to me
Or the way
You look at me
And the thing killing me
Is I worry you don't
Actually see me
100 · May 23
33
OnLithium May 23
33
To understand fate:
That what will be, was.
What has been, is.
And what you make of it, will.
100 · Jun 7
55
OnLithium Jun 7
55
I can't continue
Like this
Relying on
Liquor
And Benadryl
To help me
Sleep
Begging for
Some sort of
Peace
99 · May 6
11
OnLithium May 6
11
One plus one is two
Unless it's me and you
You make me feel like half
Of all that I am
99 · May 2
01
OnLithium May 2
01
Up and down
Thrown around
Left and right
No sleep tonight

Side to side
I have to turn this tide
There and back
Its the strength I lack
98 · May 9
16
OnLithium May 9
16
I've never danced
I could never be convinced
Seeing you across this room
Has me doubting that truth

You're eyes are pickpockets
Slowly working the locks
That enshroud my heart
And now I'm getting nervous

We slowly meet in middle
The lights get even dimmer
I wouldn't call this dancing
But we seem to do it well
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