My bed feels too big
knowing you'll never share it with me again
and my heart is breaking
knowing that I'm losing my best friend
but I've wasted all the love I have
on someone who will never love me back
I've wasted over a year
trying to get you to love me
only to be left staring at my bed
and thinking how it looks so empty.

Every second that passes where you don't love me back is killing me
and I've been starting at the hands of the clock
just begging that they'll stop

Nobody ever writes how physically painful heart break is
Stomach clenched, lungs gasping for air
Chest caving in

They write that "love is patient, love is kind"
Then how come I'm in love
and feel like I want to die?

The secret's out
and now you know how I feel
thanks to an alcohol-induced break down

and hearing you say
that you don't love me back
was the most excruciating sound.

I just want someone to see all the potential that I don't see in myself
Believes that I'm so much more than what I really am
Someone who'd be proud to show me off
Not be embarrassed to hold my hand.

Someone to love all the flaws that I've grown to hate
to love my imperfections and make up for all that I lack
Not someone who only loves me secretly, under the covers.
Is that too much to ask?

Or do I not deserve that?

I finally figured out why you don't want me.
You don't think I'm good enough for you
You've got me starting to really believe it.
I never thought a guy could do that to my mental health.

And I've been too busy wondering why we're not together
that I haven't had the time to notice
that being in love with you
is making me hate myself.

That crushing realization
That no matter what you do
Or how hard you try
You'll never mean as much to them
As they do to you.

You know how hard it is
for me to tell people how I feel
so when I told you I was feeling low
and especially alone
I was half hoping you'd hop in your car
and drive as fast as you could to get here.

But the doorbell never rang.

*You never came.