There are far worse fates
Than being alone.
To watch myself grow
Maid, mother to crone.
I could waste all my years on the
Same shallow man,
And skip into hell all
Whilst holding his hand.
I could forgo my passions
For his every whim,
And save all my smiling and love
just for him.
I could bury my future beneath
Soil and stone.
That’s a far worse fate than
Just being alone.

I sell myself so cheap,
Give my soul for so little,
In hopes that I might keep,
A half loved love so brittle.
In handing him my body,
I am weakening my mind,
And in keeping saying sorry,
I leave myself behind.
I wish that I could hate him,
And remember who I am,
But dangerously I love him,
I’m his sacrificial lamb.
He’s killing me,
But I like it,
I’m dying,
I am.

It’s been said that old habits die hard
But how hard do I need to try
To make this old habit die?
The lengths I’ve gone to
In order to forsake you
The conclusion I have come to
This habit won’t die till I do

You can’t just create a person
Then leave them alone.
I scream silently at
My father, my
Lover and
My life.
You can’t just make me like this
Then tell me that I’m crazy.
I scratch at the walls of
My apartment, my
Mind and my
Prison cell.
You can’t just love someone then
Treat them like they’re nothing
I whisper to my happy
Memories, my exes
And myself.

I hope he’s kind
This future of mine
I hope he’s clever
Loses his temper never
I hope he’s a man worth loving
I hope he’s sweet
I hope he comes to me running
Will I know when we meet?

I
Am
Just
Dying for
Somebody to
Finally prove me wrong

God I’m so angry
I’m never the one
I’m always just one
On a list.
Wow I am furious
It never works out
I just work hard
And end up with ****.
**** I am livid
Why isn’t it me?
Me who’s loved and lived for
and kissed?
Jesus Christ I have never been madder
At all the things I don’t have
And have missed.