I wrote you lots more poems
with all the same feelings

my love cannot feel me
my love cannot see me
my love weeps
head bowed in hands
leaving my outstretched arms
empty

try explaining circumcision
to an uncircumcised 12 year old boy

processing loss is a very dangerous job
the machines are terrifying
the hours are long
and the pay is terrible

you are a perfect stranger
just perfect

my heart reflects the world
it is pouring

please don’t **** on me
I’m not into that
and I’m sorry but
we have no public restroom

I want to feel good
to be free of insecurity and despair
but some days
it’s very easy to be knocked off my post
and I need a bit of a boost
to get back up

this whole endeavor started because of you
sorry, him...
so maybe it will be an interesting change
to see where it goes
without you—
errm—him

as muse, that is
probably a lot more poems about
the finer existential points of
earrings and cereal

I love her course hands
the scoring on each finger
like the tread of a tractor tire
wise with wrenches and grease
she will tell you what to do
just like a man
so obnoxious and confident
she’s a study in authentic masculinity
I’m mesmerized
by her imperfection
and competence
in all matters of this life

I couldn’t even talk to him at the end
my brain frozen in fog
couldn’t look at him
or myself
now we just look away
it’s fine

time is delicious this evening
sweet and spicy
deep and rich
like Mexican chocolate
or cinnamon elixir

time is content tonight
heavy and smooth
drunk with svelte pollen
over slick naked petals
and bowed branches rocking

time exists carelessly independent of me
unconcerned and lazy in it’s duties
telling me an inside joke
remember that time, he says…
and I see a small distant warmth

don’t end up on the wrong side of my tracks
it’s a dangerous neighborhood over there
but there’s lots of signs to keep you safe
if you’re the sort to pay attention

I think I will give walls another try
castles are underrated
you don’t even need a drawbridge
if you can fly
cool grey stone
built into a cliff up high
mythic falls cascading past
with an endless sigh
fearsome forest creatures
who won’t let you by
yes
I think I will give walls
another try

as far as I can see
the only reality
is you
avoiding me

indefinitely

good morning love
the days are expanding into chapters of a joyful life
I’m one of those foolishly optimistic narrators
who knows there will be a happy ending
you are my favorite character

forget, whispered the wind
and then died

I am talking to you in this strange way
my tongue has become like a typewriter
it is apparently an outdated technology

it seems the crazy train has left the station
hopefully chugging some other kool aid
cause this kool aid is mine

a dead silence
grinds the nerves
into long strings of tendon
holding together nightmares

my mind conjures the sound
of Sweeney Todd
making sausage

it has been the slowest tide in millennia
the moon went traveling to a distant star
leaving the ocean in such a state
lovers are lost
wolves are incensed
the estrus is in peril
meanwhile
the tide drags itself out
foam curling like lazy toes under bed covers
rising against gravity
disappearing momentously
up
into a serpentine mountain of water
reaching
for its fading mate
the moon

the wave holds time
inside the precipice of its crash
a breathless, silent
pause

the moon looks back, gently
seeing only a warm farewell

another dream
a really great one
I’d like to go back to sleep

a nodding acquaintance
indifferent
an anonymous stalker
obsessed
a partner
in love
a woman
lost

do I still exist?
I think so
I have a house
a family
friends
I work some days, not others
I have a phone, email
various social media accounts
I am not invisible
or untouchable
or unreachable
I think I still exist
I definitely do

life used to be harder when I thought words meant more
I was trapped on an unpleasant roller coaster of love and rejection, intimacy and abandonment
now that I realize words don’t mean so much
life is more equanimous
and less of everything else

it is now so recognizable
anxiety
the need to run
literally
figuratively

can we?
can’t we?

the rain has come for me
to say all the things I no longer can

Mercury is in Aquarius
just so you know
it does not bode well, for people like me
AND it goes retrograde later this month
then Venus... jeez don’t get me started
I may not pull through

please keep my heart safe
while I stitch a thicker skin

troubled sleep
woke up in full delusion mode
you were him again
it was disturbing
depressing
destabilizing
I woke up in love

I am suspended in a healing euphoria
I haven’t felt this for so long
my connection to greater self seemed blocked
but I am expanding now
a minor ecstatic state
integrated with my mind
swelling in my chest
my limbs are numb and beautiful
the dimensions are folding loosely inside me
portals opening
I feel an incorruptible power and purity
a gentle ineffable pleasure of peace
and rightness
in truth, I do not know what it is
I call it energy, spirit, light
I call it Love
I call it Self

the landscape is especially sparkly today
so many sparkles entered my body
it’s like fireworks in here

you are always one step ahead of me
as I chase you across the night

— why are you so squirmy?
— because when I get hugged and kissed I get super super happy, and I like squirming around

what happened to your gentle love
what happened to her innocence
you see the faces
meant for you

I always thought
the bands of light around the earth seen from space
represented the reflection of sunlight
through the various densities of atmosphere

they do not!!

they are actual emanations of light
from chemical reactions, cosmic rays, and photoionization
(don’t worry about that last one)

my point is...

                 we glow

                           we, the earth

                                          we glow

                                                          like we’re made of stars

when your guard is always up
you can’t enjoy the revelry brought by
fun loving bandits

in ten thousand years
our descendants will study a strange people
who worshipped Mew and Arceus
they will study the seventh millennium war
fought between the two sects over who came first,
who was most powerful
Arceus, god of the universe
or Mew, the first being, who beget Arceus
they will read about a third sect
who hid from persecution from both
the worshippers of Pika,
the mouse goddess of lightning

the Pokelogic cosmology
will be a fairly obscure niche of study
our ten thousand year descendants will overwhelmingly be worshippers of
the ancient goddess Tik
and her consort Tok

feline curl
in the crook of your arm
relaxed
in the blind feral faith
that she is the one

he woke drowsy
with a tuft of those
familiar
crinkly
hairs
in his mouth

his mind raced in this half sleep state

seconds later
fully conscious
he raced to the bathroom and
trimmed
his
beard

it’s a perfect day to behold the face of your love
the warmth of the ground will coax your feet
the rays of the sun will guide your arms
the light in the air will carry your words
the joy in her heart will melt your fears
even a few minutes of love
will bring peace to your mind
it’s a perfect day for that

I don’t see you
You don’t see me
Not really

I don’t need to say anything
You don’t need to say anything
That’s how it is now

my dog does not know
what the vacuum cleaner is
but he understands
it is a terrifying
dangerous
machine
and he is ready
to protect me
when the time comes

I find a strong will very ****
but it can be a detriment to a joyful life

I am having significant trouble to focus
there are feelings swirling in areas that do not help one to think
and in my brain
thoughts of you
have performed a coup

no one cares anymore
not my therapist
or the police
not my friends or family,
he doesn’t even ask
they’ve all lost interest
you’re absolutely free

don’t fret darling
there is no force in the universe
stronger than the existence between us

if I gave you a hug
would you feel a hug?
or a claustrophobic squeeze?
if I sent you a picture
would you see my need to connect?
or steal my soul with your eyes?
if I left you a flower
would you smell the sweetness of hope?
or the decay of lost possibilities?
if I kissed your lips
would you taste desire?
or fear?

if I said I love you
would you hear it?