I would like you to take my hand
and lead me down a peaceful street
I would like you to hug me in the shade
tell me I’m great
it will all be ok
pull my head to your shoulder
pet my hair
I would like to rest
there
in the comfort of you

I’ve got to respond
to protect myself
for the record
a woman can never relax
she has to try harder
the bar is higher
she’s constantly under scrutiny
and judgement
they can raise their voices
but she can’t
they can be disrespectful
but she can’t get frustrated
it used to be my happy place
now I can barely walk in the door
anxiety and panic daily
it’s time to go
I can’t stomach it any longer
literally
I’m throwing up
I have hope though
there’s a better place
a safer place
and I have excellent references

it’s Thursday
what did you expect
as you stumble down the stairs
with your six figure salary
that you never dreamed would multiply
like this
and the tears spilling over your lids
oh, darling, do you now have something
to lose?
are you missing something?
what
exactly
was your point?
when you started all of this?
your life, I mean
do you even remember?

I am alone this night
I know it
like so many others
you are not here
may never be
I know it

but I am
and this is enough

will always be

I’m not sure you can put me all together
in your mind

I know I can’t put you

but I love all the pieces

even if I can’t understand yet

the whole

I’ve revisited some of my past offerings
I’ve given you
a breathtaking display
of devotion
and lust
there is no denying this

I expect you have appreciated it
I’m just saying
I see it too

if I drink enough
I can’t stop crying
which is such a relief
from the rage