my eyes tell everything
that's not a thing
it's the truth it is
the kind I once missed

one look in my eyes
and I begin to smile
not out of love
no-
that's been a while
cause I don't know
how to react
it's an error in my brain
with pain just like rain

not a mask
just not used to
act

vacation

only 4 days
then I get some rest
living in the past
but still dreaming of the best

only 4 days
then I will imagine
who I could be
flying on a dragon

only 4 days
then I can scream
but I'm not my own team
cause demons don't want to be seen
and mine want to be so mean
trying to hide them from the stream

only 4 days
and I don't want to lose
don’t want to bruise

Another pointless, quiet fight.
Another message: “Yeah, you’re right”
Another text reading “goodnight”
Typing out “sleep tight”
as my phone screen turns to white.

I don’t turn off the music,
I do start to panic.

Everything reminds me of us,
The way you think I overuse “we” and “us”
turns to one more thing we used to discuss.
The way you tell me not to fuss
taught me minus and minus equals plus.

You never thought I had it right.
But I still hope you sleep tight.

Blade
Skin
Slice

Warm
Flowing
Blood

Dark
Silent
Thud

Scream
Sirens
Rush

"It's
Too
Late"

Calm
Quiet
Rest

I'm afraid of failure
Of becoming a burden
But above all, I'm afraid
Of hurting the ones I love
And ending up alone...

Yet I'm here, I've shown
In the face of my demons
And screamed at them
That they'll never take
The very best of me

So I may not be fearless
I'm quite fine with that
For I'm brave

What good am I
if I can't help the ones I love?
I can't stop the anger
or the violence
I can't stop her demons
from destroying her mind
I can't help as much as I want to
And trust me
I want to
All I can do is pretend the bad things aren't happening
tune them out like I've done
so many times before
I want to help
but I'm just helpless