I do not know.
You come to me in search of answers
that I cannot provide.
The glass is cloudy.
An endless fog envelops me.
Impossible to tell
if it's day or night.
Clarity has abandoned me
on the lonely shore.
The distant muddy thoughts
keep me company.
As to the meaning of this,
there is only one response I can give you:
I do not know.

Do the thing you love to do,
Who cares if nothing of it's true?

Fiction and fantasy: Fun, Ideal,
So much better than the real.

Just make it up for me as you go
Exaggerate, but keep the flow.

Fake and phony are the right decision,
Treat me to your distorted vision

Make it as good as it can be,
I don't need the truth to be set free.

My mind keeps going.
A million miles an hour.
Maybe more.
It is unforgiving.
It is relentless.
It is holding me hostage.
Faster and faster.
Threatening to throw me
right off the rails.
I fear I am losing control.

Why can't I make it stop?

I gave you flowers
and jewelry.
I gave you clothes
and new shoes.
I gave you perfume,
and lipstick.
I gave you love
and affection.
I only wanted one thing
in return.

But then
In a moment of loneliness
it dawned on me.

How can you give me
that which you never had?

There is a drug that
rips through my veins
and thrashes my body around
with reckless abandon.

There is a chemical
it electrifies my skin,
makes my heart race,
and ravages my body.

There is a substance,
that ripples through my hair,
dilates my eyes,
and makes my mind dance.

There is a concoction,
that blurs everything around me,
and locks in my spirit
to the whims of my flesh.

It is You.

Hello shame, my longtime friend.
Why do we chance to meet again?

Hello anger, Hello fury,
Constant companion to all my worry.

Hello guilt and pain and fear,
How do you always find me here?

Hello sadness, I still remember
The last time we met in the bleak December.

Hello anguish and days uncertain,
As you steal my light and drop the curtain.

I'm just hanging on this Christmas tree,
Silent and rather dutifully.
Amazed at all the things I see,
In the bustle of December.

I've got some multi-colored friends,
and just enough warm tinsel ends.
I hope each year, that Santa sends
A Christmas to remember,

I don't mess with candy canes,
I just stay the path and keep my lane.
I'm kind of shiny and kind of plain,
so cut me a little slack.

Soon enough, the laughter's done,
The unwrapping's over, the songs are sung.
The turkey eaten, the moments won,
And to my cardboard home, I'm back.

Silently tracking, I've come here to listen.
That is my duty,  That is my mission.
Truth be told, I'm surprised to be in this position,
but I play the cards I get dealt, so I've made my decision.

People, they talk and they shout and they chatter.
When often they need to ask: "Hey now, what's the matter?"
Maybe if we can shut down the noise and the clatter,
We can get to the heart of a soul that's been shattered.

So keep your lips sealed and speak with your ears,
That's how we beat the frustration and fears.
Just listen and see what fresh movement appears,
When your heartbeat is stronger and your mind finally clears.

You love me,
but don't show it.

You hurt me,
but don't know it.

I give things,
and you take them.

I share dreams,
and you break them.

You trap me,
but don't see it.

You kiss me,
but don't feel it.

I get up again,
one final try.

I leave forever,
a cold goodbye.

The doctor’s left the room now dear,
It’s only you and me,
Until this moment I never knew,
How difficult this would be.

I know the time is getting late,
the moon is hanging high,
and a solitary quiet tear
is trickling from your eye.

These days have been so trying,
I know you badly want to rest,
But if you are willing to allow me,
I have one small request:

Let’s go dancing one more time,
The way we always did,
And tear up that old wooden floor,
Like two lovestruck young kids.

You used to love our nights out,
I can still see that winning smile,
We had the best moves of anyone,
A truly special style.

The years, they passed so quickly,
And our bodies slowed us down,
But every time that music played,
We just had to move around.

It’s no secret that a day will come,
When we’ll have to say goodbye,
But sooner or later we’ll meet again,
At that dance club in the sky.

And I’ll be there dressed to the nines,
The band will start to play,
I’ll take my lady by the hand,
And have one thing left to say:

Let’s go dancing one more time,
We’ll tear up that old floor,
And by the time the song ends,
We’ll still be wanting more...

He's got a crazy look in his eye.
He's strong and clever and spry.
In the depths of his mind,
There's a twisted design,
and a soul that's gone very awry.

He's holding a thick metal blade,
but this isn't a trick or charade.
He's found prey for his hunt,
and he's brutal and blunt.
Through his body sharp anger pervades.

He's coming for me in the night.
He's angry and wanting a fight.
The game comes undone,
with no chance to run.
He now has me locked in his sights.

The moon says hello in the deep of the night.
It's there.
It's vibrant.
It's potent.
It's bright.

See him blast past the curtain of stars.
Past Venus,
Past Earth,
and out far
beyond Mars.

Wish him well, there he goes, fifty light years away.
Somewhere
out there,
is a place
he can stay.

There's a place
I like to go.
Where I can be free
and let it show.
My piece of heaven,
My calm plateau.
Where the sunshine beats
a steady glow.

Now life has gone
and closed the door.
Pulled me from that
wondrous shore.
Thrown me into
an endless war.
and that place I like,
is mine no more.

We are constantly told not be scared.
We are taught it's better to be fearless,
than give in to wanton emotion,
and our primal instincts.

But given the choice between
a dry and emotionless existence
or  being truly human,
I will embrace fear.

It is an inescapable part of who I am.

When your words are not your words,
and you keep writing undeterred,
What does it really say about your person?

Those are my dreams and fears and thoughts.
That line was never yours to cross.
Suddenly, the situation worsens.

You never had permission,
To break right in and steal my vision.
I do not take such violations lightly.

Those are my emotions and my voice.
Now you've gone and made your choice,
and a punishment is coming to you rightly.

That's what I think about you, thief,
as I work through this rhyming grief.
Like a dagger you have pierced my soul right through.

And these words I can only guess,
You'll swoop in and steal like the rest,
as that seems to be the thing you like to do.

I have a little box.
It's plain and sturdy and it locks.
It's a proper place,
for the cold disgrace,
of my souls great paradox.

It's old and made of wood,
but I wouldn't change it if I could.
As there's something stark,
In its scuffs and marks,
That can only be called good.

It's stood up over the years.
It's held on to my dreams and tears.
It's dark and it's dusty,
but remarkably trusty,
As a means to make peace with my fears.

I have a little box,
and if only it could talk,
It would tell a story,
of pain and glory,
and a life filled with hard knocks.

I could be mad that my tire went flat,
Or thankful I have a car that runs.

I could complain how I hate my job,
Or be happy for a way to provide.

I could be mad there is no hot water,
Or thankful that it's clean.

I could complain about eating leftovers,
Or be happy my belly is full.

I could be mad I have no free time,
Or thankful for my friends.

I could complain about the faded shirt,
Or be happy I have clothes.

I could be mad about the cost of the medicine,
Or thankful I'm not staying sick.

I could complain about eating in tonight,
Or be happy the lights are still on.

I could be mad that I cannot take a vacation,
Or thankful to have a home.

I could complain about the life I think I want,
Or be happy about the blessings I have.

What am I doing here?
I don't even know.
Just counting the cars
On the freeway below.

Feet on the sidewalk,
and hands on the rail.
My spirit is weakened,
My skin becomes frail.

The grey clouds above,
drop a torrent of rain.
A fitting addition,
to the depths of my pain.

I have no home to go to,
and no place to be.
My eyes are wide open,
but there's not much to see.

What I am doing here?
I don't even know.
Just counting the lights
as the cars pass below.

They say beyond this filthy door,
is all I've ever dreamed and more.
I take a step forward and reach for the handle,
Guided by light of a distant candle
A voice in the shadows hollers: "No!"
and suddenly my hand lets go.

My body grows paralyzed in fear.
Am I better off in the darkness here?
I dream of mountains and roads of gold,
A place that's bright and warm and bold.
But what if, when that door is open,
There's only a world that's bent and broken?

The door, so curious, is tempting but,
I think it's best if I leave it shut.

A grand concert hall in London.
A fancy penthouse suite in Hong Long.
The Pacific Coast highway in a Ferrari.
Enjoying the view from the top of Mt. Everest.

The smile of a child lost long ago.
My bedroom from 1993.
The lakeshore where I had my first kiss.
A warm hug from my grandfather.

So much to see, so much to feel,
but inside I know that none of it’s real.

We wish you a Merry Christmas,
but you're not going to care.
Even if waves of beautiful snow,
are flying through the air.

Deck the halls with boughs of holly,
not really quite your thing.
You're not a festive type of person,
and you don't do caroling.

Silent night, Holy night.
Your house is quiet and dark.
Completely devoid of warmth or light,
Empty and quite stark.

Do you hear what I hear?
Does it ever touch your heart?
Are you content to spend the holidays,
alone and set apart?

I'll have a blue Christmas without you,
but I guess that's what you want.
12/25 all by yourself,
and a New Year just as gaunt.

We are different.
We are unique.
We may look threatening.
But rest assured
that is merely due to
our excess of social awkwardness.

We may be quiet.
We may not look like much.
That's okay though.
Because we travel
the lesser known path.
We do not fear the unusual.
We embrace it.

And in doing that,
we become beautiful
in our own way.

Won't you join us?

These are the nights of our lives,
Where we laugh and we smile and thrive.
And in moments like this,
That we seal with a kiss,
I love the warm shine of your eyes.

These are the minutes without warning,
When the clock rolls past 2 in the morning.
The good music starts playing,
All the people are swaying.
And the party, it really gets roaring.

These are the best of the hours,
With their wild and mysterious powers.
It’s always so pretty,
To look out on the city,
From our perch at the top of the tower.

These are the greatest of nights,
When we’re lifted to dizzying heights.
It’s just you and me,
Unburdened and free,
As we’re bathed in the glow of the lights.

These are the best of our days,
We are joyful in so many ways.
Anything’s within reach,
As we sit by the beach.
And listen to the crash of the waves.

These are the things that remain,
When we unload the fear and the pain.
Forget what has been,
And if storm clouds roll in,
We’ll run out and dance in the rain.