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 Jul 2020 No Nahme
ryn
I was a shape in my cosy little shell,
I stayed...
I nestled.
My cookie-cutter thoughts would
occasionally rebel...
And stray to the windows.
But still they were imprisoned by the
walls that surrounded.

I would steal bashful peeks
out a window.
I'd let my senses take unrestricted flights,
as I stared into the grandeur of the carnival
that seemed to have sprouted overnight...

Just beyond the confines of my home.

"What a marvellous circus!" I'd think...
I'd gawk with child-like adoration
and never blink.

The universe lay sprawled
in a celebration of systematic chaos.
It stretched far into the horizon...
A delight to the senses,
perceived through such young eyes.
The world had told me stories.
They were like fireworks
that speared up to the sky.

I wanted to be a part of the jubilee...
I longed for the validation of my existence.
I wished to claim the gift of life bestowed upon me.
I'd resent being held hostage by my indoctrinated ignorance.

I was a shape.
I knew I was a square.
I knew I had a home...
But not within those four walls.
Simply because...
My heart wasn't there.
 Jul 2020 No Nahme
ryn
Chemistry
 Jul 2020 No Nahme
ryn
.
                         
O         
         o       o
O          
                  O      o        
O    
•fill our beak-
er with un-
told chem-
icals•com-
patible  so-
lvents that
fizz... with
bubbles•m-
ix them in to get
the most homogene-
ous of solutions•introdu-
ce heat in the likes of passion
•never a clean reaction, there will
be residue• never right the first time,
failed attempts will be a few......• but once
distilled from undesirable impurity•........then
handle the mixture with utmost sensitivity........•
you'll get a result that can't be bought with money•
because this love in our hearts is the product of



pure chemistry

.
 Jul 2020 No Nahme
ryn
Clover
 Jul 2020 No Nahme
ryn
Saw a single clover...
Peeking out from the crack in the wall.
All alone... With no other.
Shivering in the wind.
Still it braved the unknown.
Just to see...
What was shown.

Touched the single clover.
So much courage within something so small,
so green and frail.
Standing tall in the torrential gale.
So much I could take and learn from it.
I shall make it my daily inspiration.
I shall leave it be.
So that on my daily walk back,
it could say to me,
"I'm still here, you are too.
Let's keep on, keeping on,
till our days are through."


On my walk back today,
I have looked forward to see the clover I've learnt to adore.
Only to find that it had gone missing...
It just wasn't there anymore.
The crack was vacant...
I looked all around.
I finally looked down...
And there it was on the ground.
A twisted corpse of what once was...
The storm earlier had ripped it off its perch.
The winds had overcome and left it in the lurch.
Grounded and defenceless,
It quickly became the target of many footsteps
belonging to people too oblivious.

The clover is dead.
But it's still so green.
As I looked at it,
I imagined what it would have said,
"Keep on, keeping on.
You won't truly know...
You won't really learn...
And life won't show,
if you get too afraid of the storm.
And then you won't grow.
Stick your head out
and never be too scared...
To see and be a part of the wonders of the world
that the universe has infinitely shared."


.
 Jul 2020 No Nahme
ryn
All too familiar...
I have been here not too long ago.

I had dug my heels deep...
I had tasted the moist that hung stale.
Dreaded every next step,
knowing then as I know now...
That again I would fail.

This road well travelled...
Will draw much more,
if not the same.
But I own this endless stretch,
I'll embrace it with discomfort...
For here is the grave that bears my name.
 Jul 2020 No Nahme
ryn
.
Times like these...
Just make you want to get up and run.


Forget the ache in your knee,
forget the weight on your back.
Forget the problems in your pocket,
forget the secrets in your sack.

Times like these...
Just make you want to dive deep.


Forget the myth of what lurks below,
forget the cautionary voices in your head.
Forget the whispers of restraint,
forget the monsters under your bed.

Times like these...
Just make you want to take off and fly.


Forget the wings that remain invisible,
forget the winds which refuse to carry.
Forget the bottom that awaits you,
forget the beckoning arms of gravity.

And take that leap into
the great unknown...

.
 Jul 2020 No Nahme
ryn
Emeralds
 Jul 2020 No Nahme
ryn
.
If I said
that your eyes
sparkle like emeralds...

Would you widen them
so that they could
usurp the sun?



.
 Jul 2020 No Nahme
ryn
It's not about going back
to the start.

It should be about
pausing,
rewinding
and going back to a point
where things made sense.

It's about understanding
why they mattered then.

And think if they still do.

If acceptance is
securing personal victory
by conceding,

then I accept.
 Jul 2020 No Nahme
ryn
Keeping Count
 Jul 2020 No Nahme
ryn
I’m counting the seconds;
For every one that passes
is a fragment of the future
which I have claimed
and committed to the past.

I’m counting the hours;
For with every chime on the hour,
I celebrate quietly that I still
live and breathe.

I’m counting the days;
For with every rise,
and every set,
takes me farther from
where I had been.

I’m now counting all the times
I’ve told myself that and scoffed.
 Jul 2020 No Nahme
ryn
River Water
 Jul 2020 No Nahme
ryn
I feel like river water.
And I don’t belong to stagnancy,
yet I’m caught in a lake.

•••

I’m destined
to move silt and sediment.
And overturn
submerged pebbles
so they won’t see
the green of moss.

I’m meant to surge
and eat into banks
so I could be split -
to make more of me...

My reach would extend
far and wide -
like scraggly fingers
grabbing at the
face of the earth.

My energy channelling
through careless forks
and into slimmer branches.


•••

My soul is river water....
And my heart renounces
the throne to idleness.

Yet I am,
but a lake.
 Jul 2020 No Nahme
ryn
Windtalker
 Jul 2020 No Nahme
ryn
There was no one...
So I spoke as if a secret
into the wind.

I told it,

“You may blow your skeptic tune.
Your quiet whistles of doubt.”

“Exhale if you must,
upon the countenance of her face.
Run your invisible fingers
through her hair...
Taste her lips like you would
the surface of the lake in the sun-shy morns.”

“Then you would dispel all disbelief.
You would take these words I say,
and know why confide in you.
You would know why I had fallen.
And you would know why
you would then be my messenger...”

“So that you could word the song
I could never sing.
You could caress her face
when my fingers could not.
You could kiss and fill her lungs
with all that she needs when I am gone.”


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