Her face
Burned deeply into my mind
Setting ablaze that rollercoaster of emotions

Life became a forest to get out of
Always on the edge of being unsure if I’ll even ever get out

Rushing through
Brushing past every spiky leaf
Sliding away all those pebbles of stones
Slipping constantly
Through the sky’s tears and its forceful breath
I never even made the effort to find cover
Eroded myself with degradation
Listened to the winds whispers and followed its commands
Thinking I was going the right way

I got tired
Sick of the chase of out
Looking at the wrong turns I took
Decided to take a look around
Take notice of the beauty surrounding me
The ray that makes it worth to withstand the harshness
A warmth only available if I stay around

Found out what I like and didn’t like
Got rid of that uncertainty
Felt refreshed by my walking
By the small steps
Softly stomping
Even looking at myself
For what I am
Why would I ever wanna leave

i wanna strip off this fake skin
show you my brittle broken bones

I intended to clean you from it,
instead i washed you away

like popping an irritating long lasting pimple
pressing out all excess
endure pain

The moment she leaves my eyes
All I wish for is the next time I see her

I’m sorry for being the way i am
Wether money causes a rot
Or my behaviour is frowned upon
Know that i can think and feel
My mind races the thoughts yours have travelled too

Shame starts to seep in
Opening the locks behind my eyes
For I, silence the creaks and shrieks played
The urge is almost overpowering though
Somehow my discipline stays intact
Maybe i got sick of doing it in front of people
But I’ll let it sit and stew,
in fact
Boil my insides down to a distillation
Purifying the components of my
“Healthy conscious”
Speeches of daggers thrown at my mind
I pay proper attention to each poke
In hope of finding this thing called peace

I willingly suffer
Don’t feel sympathetic for my pathetic thoughts

I’m gonna swim through these thoughts,
Counter the current as if it’s common
Flourish flamboyantly

This growing distance
We can’t be mad
It’s a result of us doing nothing
Walking away
Back to back but so far
Not knowing the other is doing so also
Taking peeks over our shoulders
Missing each other every time
Hands in our pockets
Unsure if they should reach out or not
I hope we find one another

Feasting on hate among a group
The taste improves
Plates are being refilled
Tongues are sliding on them

Whenever i have the opportunity to explore another,
that voice man,
creeps humming behind my ears,
then asking “are you worth their time”
then suddenly im standing,
not engaging
the want ran away from me

The flaws of mine are all I look to
their the most obvious
the only thing I really see
Somehow you scavenge any beauty in it.

I’m in love with music because of how it makes my body feel
The impulse to twitch a part of me
to let out something i’ve been holding
Twist the floor beneath with my feet
slipping off that care even with others
Pull my head back and forward
Knee hopping in rhythm
Hands feeling up the space
Your voice does the same to me

in a million faces i still find yours,
no matter the distance

sometimes when I peek at that reflection
every intention involved in letting the world see me
instantly goes away

I feel like my cracks are showing
I wanna fix it
put tape over while I hold it together
pull it over any space open
I’ll bite near the beginning of it
I’ll Hesitate
As I eye over the holes and flaws
Realise How much more there is underneath
“yeah right”

It’s funny
We take one glance at someone
Figure we figure out all that there is to them
Judge, critique, resent
Never wanting to ask them to dig deeper
Where did effort go

if i can’t ever own my own story
how can i ever tell it

starving for attention
yet gluttony feeds me further

Let me see the chains you cover
Inspect and figure out
Dissect and dissolve
I may not have the hands of a craft man’s
Or carry the keys of solutions so
Let me do what i can
I will always knock
With your approval wanted,
waiting for the doors creaking and you behind it

I can’t see you like this
My being becomes inflamed

This infatuation will **** me,
let me forget what it is that traps you
Remind me that you’re strength is buried within
Let me dig in when you allow it

My heart was in the place, just
My mind was somewhere else