Feasting on hate among a group
The taste improves
Plates are being refilled
Tongues are sliding on them

Life became a forest to get out of
Always on the edge of being unsure if I’ll even ever get out

Rushing through
Brushing past every spiky leaf
Sliding away all those pebbles of stones
Slipping constantly
Through the sky’s tears and its forceful breath
I never even made the effort to find cover
Eroded myself with degradation
Listened to the winds whispers and followed its commands
Thinking I was going the right way

I got tired
Sick of the chase of out
Looking at the wrong turns I took
Decided to take a look around
Take notice of the beauty surrounding me
The ray that makes it worth to withstand the harshness
A warmth only available if I stay around

Found out what I like and didn’t like
Got rid of that uncertainty
Felt refreshed by my walking
By the small steps
Softly stomping
Even looking at myself
For what I am
Why would I ever wanna leave

(currently listening to Cellophane by FKA twigs)
Last night after work i went to the river
Like usual
listening to some music and letting my mind run free for a bit
the air had my eyes
the rush of the river was loud
I sat on a rock, rustling stones beneath my feet
A slight chill went through me, one I was willing to sit through
But last night was when I decided to have a good cry
one where I sat and let tears drop near where they’re supposed to be
Then watching a herd of ducks come along the river
Poking their heads into the water
Tails to the sky

Watching them though
Set off what I should be grateful for
Reminiscing family
hating myself for not spending time with them
I’m sorry I didn’t watch tv with you that night
Of course I was busy doing nothing in my room
God I just wanna pour out everything and tell them how sorry I am, everyone
This song
kept asking “didn’t I do it for you?”
“why won’t I do it for you?”
with such soft piano chords that felt heavy and light at the same time
I wish I could say it helped
Eventually I stopped, caught my breath

Swiped my windows

Let me see the chains you cover
Inspect and figure out
Dissect and dissolve
I may not have the hands of a craft man’s
Or carry the keys of solutions so
Let me do what i can
I will always knock
With your approval wanted,
waiting for the doors creaking and you behind it

I can’t see you like this
My being becomes inflamed

This infatuation will **** me,
let me forget what it is that traps you
Remind me that you’re strength is buried within
Let me dig in when you allow it

My heart was in the place, just
My mind was somewhere else

Behind those shimmering loose waves
The curtain that shades your certain radiance.
Those pearls are of my wants

Or maybe everyone is profoundly flawed
If you look profoundly for them

I’m gonna swim through these thoughts,
Counter the current as if it’s common
Flourish flamboyantly