Words fail me
I don't know what I feel
I want to fade to nothing
And let the silence consume me
So many perspectives
I don't know which is true
Maybe all of them are
But then what?
They tell me I'm good
While my guilt swallows me whole
Rule one is do no harm
And I've shattered that
They say it's being a human
And I guess that's true
But if I can do anything to help
Then I'd like to
Where is that fine line
Between values and pain?
I don't owe it to them
But I feel like I do
If getting burned makes it better
At what point do I quit?
Do I hand over the matches?
Soak my soul in gasoline?
Pain for pain seems so fair
I made mistakes and I have to own them
But does letting myself burn
Really help anyone?

I love you
And I miss you
And you're barely gone.
I'm worried
And afraid
That you'll walk away.
And if you do
I'll understand
Because I do.
This isn't easy
Life is really hard
We are so so tired.
If I could
I'd give you peace
And all the good things.
And I can't
But I'll try
Until you tell me to go.
Your soul is art
Your existence is a gift
Thank you for letting me in.
I love you
So if it's best for you
I won't make this difficult.
I won't fight you
If you tell me
You can't handle me anymore.
Just know that I care
So much for you
It's beyond words.
I swear
I'd love you forever
If I get the chance.
I wish it was easier
And this didn't hurt you
My love and my light.
No matter what happens
I hope that you know
How important you are to me.
I am here for you,
And for always
I hope you have sweet dreams.

My palm pressed to your chest
I connect to your energy
Your heartbeat, warm and familiar,
Is the rhythm of love and of you
You glide your nose along mine
A soft connection of energy
I am brought to my knees
By such simplicity
The way that you smile
When I tell you you're pretty
That freckle on your hand
I can't help but kiss
I'd hold you in my arms forever if I could
As our souls sleep hand in hand
I breathe you in like nicotine
And I want to give you everything
Support, peace, and space
Safety, love, and grace
You've shown me new parts of myself
And I want to return the favor
Together we can grow and explore
A world unknown that feels like home

Splinters of glass rip through my chest
I can feel my heart breaking and I know it's a mess
Grief fills my lungs with liquid, like swimming pools for my emotions
I wonder what's the right decision, when everything feels so broken
Some days it's hard to stay, but leaving would tear me to shreds
Back and forth and back again, until theres nothing left
See, I know enough of humanity, to trust I'd learn to breathe again
But the thought alone is devastating, like losing a piece of me instead
I have thoughts so problematic, I will only tell one person
Because if I'm honest I'm kind of messed up, holding sins inside me like organs
My cards tell me three's a party, which means I'm the odd one out
The universe once gave me hope and peace, but now she feeds me doubts

Until I met you
I scoffed at cinematic romance
So extra and unrealistic
Utterly improbable
Completely dramatic, unreal
Coincidence is never that perfect

And yet
I met you by accident in empty hallways
I talked to the universe for months
Asking her for the chance to connect
Day after day
I couldn't find the courage to speak
I didn't know you at all
But our souls felt like magnets
Being around you is electric
Paradoxically calming
Falling in love with you was unrealistic
As we were both dating another
And despite the improbability
Polyamory was the wild card

From bridge walks to car talks
This flame burned right through me
From 15-minute cafe conversations
To our first kiss under a bell tower
Our passion raged in waves
Ripping apart everything I thought I knew
An emotional monsoon
I swear this is a love like no other

Kissing in cars and wrestling on hotel beds
I breathe in your love and your light
Cherishing your soft skin against mine
Exhaling gratitude and peace
It's a feeling so surreal
No words feel right to describe it
But I do know it's a blessing
That every single day
I get to fall in love with you all over again

I feel alive when I'm with you
And that scares me to death
When we're together I know I'm quiet
But it's not being stuck in my head
It's an intense shift in emotion
An entirely new headspace
I don't feel this way with others
Your energy alone brings me peace
Being with you is all encompassing
Braiding my body, emotions, and soul
A beautiful collision of colors
Where all of me meets all of you
Wrapping around each other
As the whole world is quiet
Those moments are everything
I love you more than I've ever known

Your lips, soft like clouds
Melt into my own
Despite the contact
I want to be closer
There's hunger in this
The craving runs deep
Together we are electricity
With energy born in a simple stare
We move like the ocean
In currents and waves
A secret choreography
Only our bodies know
Teasing and tussling
My teeth close on your skin
Painting you purple and red
I leave imprints of me all over you
To remind you that you're mine
The marks are emotions personified
I want you to know how I feel
I like you and I love your company
And a week always feels too long
I could drown in the depths of your eyes
They're mysterious and blue like the sea
Our souls meet in these moments
As I am entirely entranced by you
I want to hold you close
And I want to keep you safe
I want to hear your hurts
As well as all your dreams
I am grateful to be in your life
And that you're a part of mine