I dig hooks into my heart
Hoping to feel something more
Tying parts of myself to others
As if they could fix my soul
As if maybe one day
The scars will fuse to the metal
Somehow filling in the gaps
Empty, echoing spaces
That swallow everything whole
But one day even those will disintegrate
Or be ripped out without warning
And it's no one's fault but my own
When I bleed out onto the floor

I don't think I'm made for this life
I feel like any good I could do
Can never outweigh the darkness
Dripping from the roots of my being
I don't think I was born with this
But I know it's grown into a part of me
Like ink, it leaks and pools
Drowning me and staining others
Somehow people of light find me
I want so badly to mirror back their essence
Instead when they pull me into their arms
The poison seeps through my fingertips
Little by little it finds a path inside
Dancing through blood to find a heartbeat
Their beautiful colors are tarnished and tainted
Muddied with the tar of my pain
I want to save the people I care for
And save the parts of myself that are left
I want to **** this deadly energy
Give the world less evil to fight against
It's whispers tangle through my brain
Spoken so calmly and assuredly
Reminding me of my damaged soul
It knows the control it has over me
It lies and says it keeps me safe
That to it I owe everything
It thinks it's what's kept me alive
When it's really what's killing me
A simple fix would **** this demon
A single bullet could end it's reign
Cold metal against hot skin
I'll trade my last breath for this

There are so many things I want to tell you
All these words clammering through my brain
Emotions like nitrous explode under the surface
The intensity is disarming and terrifying
I feel like I'm losing my mind

My heartbeat shudders and my hands tremble
Whenever I'm sitting this close to you
You are stunning and sweet
Gentle like the flowers you love so much
I could talk with you all night long

I want to hear your dreams and your fears
All of the intricacies of you
I want to memorize your smile
And the lines of your hands
Lay under the stars and
Paint pictures into constellations
I want to feel your heart beating against mine
The harmony of our anxieties

I want to get drunk together
Just to ramble on through the night
Talking of nothing and everything at once
I want to explore new places
Get lost in the trees and
Sunburned on the beach

I want to be vulnerable and let you in
Knowing fully well I could get hurt
And taking that chance anyways

I sit across from you and watch as your eyes water
I can feel the pain reverberating through your heart
Panic seizes me as I want more than anything
To extinguish those flames you carry
Your life isn't easy and you are still standing
This is undeniable proof of your strength
Yet nothing can soothe the singe of this moment
Your world feels like it's falling around you
As my words continue to fail you
All I can think is to wrap you into my arms
I want to protect you and to keep you safe
I'd give parts of my soul to free you from the pain
From the fear of impending danger and
From the feeling of lost control
Your essence is pure light and
The world can be a dark place
I know I can't change that
Just remember you aren't alone
Even if I can't make the shadows leave
I'll stay with you until the sunrise

Electricity runs through my body
As I walk beside you in the darkness
Our arms brush and my heart drops
I don't want to be anywhere else

The cold wind doesn't phase me
I am entrenched in my excitement
The night is still and beautiful
The bridge tall and magnificent

We find solace in an old apartment
Where everything is empty and neutral
What a ******* contrast it is
To where I am with you

As we sprawl out on shaggy carpeting
Time ceases to exist
And despite all odds I guarantee
Somehow, somewhere our souls know each other

This peace and tranquility
Brings solace to the endlessness of life
A rare moment to breathe clearly
When I didn't know I was holding my breath

Everything inside me wants to hold your hand
And when our hands do clasp together
Explosions detonate inside my chest

5 hours of endless conversation
Laced with comfortable silence
And still, when we decide to finally leave
I wish we didn't have to

I could spend days with you
Doing nothing together would be everything
Your voice and your laugh and your smile
Make everything else go dim

I don't know why or how
The universe threw us together
But every moment since
I am undeniably grateful

My mind preoccupied
Thoughts of you float by
Golden leaves on a gentle stream
Like autumn in the Midwest

Hugs like heaven
You lean into me
You're soft and gentle
I don't want to let you go
So I hold you close instead
Willing time to freeze
Even for a moment
It's like nothing else exists
I breathe into my senses
Warmth and peace embodied
Every moment with you feels like
Both a lifetime and a fleeting dream