You say you see me
And my heart beams
For I have never truly felt seen

But still I am unsure
Of exactly what it is you see....

Did you see my heart frown
Learning that you'll never be mine

Or do you see my mind wandering
In our secret fantasy
wishing I could stop time

Can you see the hope that I've told to die,
Dancing with the hesitation of letting go
A reality, I'm not quite ready to face

Do you see the magic, behind my eyes
As I watch your life, unfold from your tongue?
I enjoy you, exactly as you come

Are you watching the same 'me'
Looking at the same 'you'
A 'you', who will define my heart
Can you see the ache I feel
Fearing one day we'll part

Do you see me
Less lonely?
Less sad, Less afraid?

Are you watching me love myself
More than before
My anxiety, washing away
I'm able to conquer more

Do you see that you have made me different?
That in me, you've become significant?

I needed you
Whatever you are
And I thank you, but beg
Keep me somewhere.
Forever.
Tucked in your heart.

I loathe myself for loving you
Despise the way I care
I continue to throw myself at your feet
Lay my heart out bare

You are self-centered and thoughtless
Living your life without regard
For a child you left behind
Is saying “I love you” really that hard?

Why do you distance yourself?
Is it because I remind you of my dad?
All the pain you caused
And the life you could have had?

Though I walk a fine line
Of replicating your mistake
I know I won’t
The thought makes my chest ache

I want to repair our relationship
I long to let my heart mend
Make up for lost time
Before we reach the end

I don’t want to love anybody. But you make it hard.
I’m always
Obstinate,
Walls so tall i hardly remember what’s underneath
But little by little, I’m cracking apart
If I could tell you what I want to say
When i cut my words off at the tongue

It would sound like

I don’t want to write love poems anymore. But you make it hard.
My fingers itch to find the words my mouth cannot;
Oh!
if I could tell you the things I think
When that crooked smile turns me into Sunlight

It would sound like

I don’t want to feel anything. But you make it hard.
Even on my emptiest days I can’t help

That painful trembling in my chest
That anticipates your touch,
And oh, if you knew the golden, honeyed heat
That spreads through me each time we meet

It would sound like
A little prayer
A little wish
For you to love me too.

there are times
when i want to hold you
here in my arms
close to my heart
and then there are times
when i dream about us
and you
mainly just you
but the ways i want you
and in that time
you also hold someone else
in your arms
close to your heart
and i realize
that is the only time
i couldn’t feel
more broken
knowing you
will never be mine
to love

Hello broken person,

Are you empty just like me?

Do you feel so much it hurts enough

To bring you to your knees?

Are you confused or frustrated

Over why you can never be

Someone who can find the time

To unsee what we have seen?

Hello broken person,

I am empty, and just like you

I have fought a thousand battles

And somehow made my way through

It hasn't gotten easier

I dont think it ever will

They say that time is healing,

But only time can tell

Hello broken person,

Are you empty just like me?

Have you had enough? Do you feel numb?

Are you sure you can even breathe?

Does it feel like exsanguination,

But it's coming from your heart?

Do you feel a void so big

That its tearing you apart?

Have you heard of an antidote,

Some sort of remedy?

Something that will help us out

I'm tired of being empty

The poet lives two lives.
One on the outside,
And one in their mind.

When you look in their eyes
You could see an abyss.

If you looked long enough
You could sink into it.

But most people don’t see it.

Take the time to read the words, though,
And you would know for sure.

The poet lives in two different worlds.

Are you okay?
Are you alright, are you fine, are you good?
Are you adequate, are you decent?
Are you emotionally stable, sleeping without crying, smiling because you want to?
Are you breathing without questioning, are you waking up without trying, are you eating without throwing up?
Are you reading this poem right now and thinking no?
Are you thinking for the first time, will I ever be okay?

You will be okay.
You will be alright, you will be fine, you will be good.
You will be adequate, you will be decent.
You will be emotionally stable, you will sleep without crying, and smile for the happiness blooming inside of you.
You will breathe without questioning, you will wake up to a new day, you will eat easily
You
are going to be okay.
So please smile sunshine
It’s a fine new day
To be okay :)

- a.g.