Cold days pass as swift as a breeze in a tundra
Waiting for salvation in the form of demise
My sweet melancholy

I don't really know what to say
But how is the other side tho
Is it as comfy as I've been told
Do you regret the choice you made
Don't worry the ones you left behind will regret it for you
It may be taboo, but I envy you
You did what I've yet to have the courage to do
How funny is it?
We've lived and laughed together in oblivion
If only we'd been honest about how we truly felt
Perhaps we'd able to laugh together again And this time it would be real
But fret not for I am on my way
Perhaps the next one may be blissful
For now I'll carry on,
Do not mistake this for a goodbye
This me saying hello
Hello acquainted stranger

Do you know how it feels?
A lingering thought every day and night
Is it worth it?
Can I just sleep for eternity?
A peaceful demise to remedy a meager existence
After some time happiness became a distant memory
A reminder of a time when I still had glittery eyes and hope
Now tell me
What do you see when you look into my eyes
Don't worry you can tell the truth
I agree, they look plastic
Eyes that lust for what they can't see
Ears that crave a sound they've never heard before
Legs that don't want to walk anymore
Tired from all this running in place
A stone heart that yearns to feel
Once again I ask
Is it necessary?
Is it worth it?

It aches
I feel the pain all over
But there's no reaction or scars left behind
Felt this pain for so long I've become numb to it
So numb that I don't even know whether I'm in pain or
These are just phantoms of the days gone
But alas every rising star followed by the falling moon
Without failure I'm reminded of that pain
Not by feeling
But by remembrance and sight
Stuck in an illusionary loop of new hope and mindless actions
With thoughts of reaching the surface
So I could finally witness the rising star
Instead of just seeing it

So heavy it would collapse a black hole
So empty it has filled itself
So focused and unyielding you'd swear it trained with Tibetan monks
So everlasting you'd swear I was born with it
An existence that spoke itself into existence
I feel it less when I'm alone
I feel it most in a crowd of people
Perhaps that's why I had to lock myself up
Imagine that
Imprisoned in a castle of my own creation?
I can't really say who's fault it was
Thus I couldn't tell you if it's my creation or not
It's been with me for so long I can't even recall a time when I was alone
Ahh how ironic
That I would crave being alone to cure my loneliness
This silence I crave

I'm drowning
My time on this plane is withering
I'm a flower that neglects itself
Hoping that I share the same fate as my time
I don't want to be here
But I have no choice
Nay
I have a choice
I just don't have the courage
So I carry on
Taking the punches
Forever turning the other cheek
Constantly treating myself like a punching bag
Forever bruised
Can't even recognize myself
Rearranged and arranged
Time and time again
Waiting for the courage to flee