Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
145 · Jun 26
Endless Castles
Kalliope Jun 26
I want to build a sandcastle
Sturdy and tall-
With towers and turrets
And cool shells on the walls.

A tower of books
As high as magic will grow it,
A balcony glowing
When the moonlight shows it.

I want a coral garden
Sprawling wide at the edge,
With tide pools like secrets
And starfish living along each ledge

There’d be laughter in the halls,
And windows facing the sea-
A peaceful place to live where I can exist as me

Seahorses in each stable-
Pampered and content,
Turtles everywhere happy to hear me vent

And when the tide comes and sweeps it all away
I'll have no tears to shed, I can build another the next day
Someday someone may join me in my endless castles of sand,
But I'm content being lonely so long as my imagination still stands
142 · May 16
Say it Out Loud
Kalliope May 16
Tell me not to think of you anymore, tell me to disappear without a trace.
Tell me to shut the **** up, that you don't even want to think of my face.

See I can't stop until I'm embarrassed, apparently I haven't reached that threshold yet.
Tell me you're so mad you can't bare it, that every minute of your time went to waste.

Tell me you don't like me, don't sugar coat it like you tend to do, tell me to go back to whatever hell I came from and that you'll be better off if I'm far away from you.
I think I need to take a hiatus,
put the pen down for awhile,
My head is in a dark place,
I don't want to write in that style.
My poems are usually somber,
But lately they're anxious and mad,
Thank you to anyone who's taken the time to read, I think it'll be awhile before I come back.
139 · Jun 9
I Blame the 2000's
Kalliope Jun 9
What if I never get better? I can't beat the fear, I never get Noah's letters
What if I'm not the exception? I'm just the rule, ever gullible to affectionate deception
What if the damage is forever? We can't re-fall in love, our connection eternally severed
What if I'm only worth 49 first dates? You wake up on the 50th and decide this life you hate
What if I'm a Heather?  Exploding with you without knowing any better
What if I don't make it out of the car? Just wasted potential, never getting very far
What if I'm a bet you made with your friends? 10 days- I'm in love and your joke's end
And if I'm the bridesmaid, never the bride? I catch the bouquet- staring at you swallowing my pride
Hulu has all my comfort movies
138 · Jun 20
Snippets #18
Kalliope Jun 20
Heavily debated deleting my account,
Even though it predates you,
It is forever tainted
with confessions of
love
for
you
Its 8 pm and I feel sick
I'm sick of feeling sick
I don't know why I'm this way 🙃
137 · Jun 6
Script Fatigue
Kalliope Jun 6
At some point, I crossed the threshold.
I went from Kay to a character.
And when I break that character,
Everyone loses their mind.

No one likes Kay anymore.

I don’t know if it was lockdown,
Or postpartum,
Or the weight I gained along with them.
But no one sees me anymore.

If I say something off script,
I’m met with sighs and,
“That’s crazy.”
Then I’m brushed off completely.

If I’m not being witty or helpful,
I shouldn’t speak at all.

I played the part—
Who doesn’t want to be the helpful comedic relief?

But I’m tired.
There’s no understudy.
No one else auditioned.

So that’s my fault, really.
The character was excellent escape
For a long time.

I just never imagined
I’d lose myself completely
But anyways, the show must go on..
132 · Jul 9
To Be Perceived
Kalliope Jul 9
I shine my armor and sharpen my sword,
Leaving the castle on a quest once more.
I save some damsels once in distress,
I put raging dragons to a permanent rest.

My intentions are pure – to save them all,
But I won’t be the hero everyone wants to call.
Perhaps those damsels never wanted to be saved,
And dragons slain leave cities razed.

There’ll be legends whispered about me at night,
Each storyteller telling it slightly right.
And though their tales may change with the years,
I’ve made my peace with how I appear.
Even with the best intentions someone can still get hurt
130 · May 15
Unanchored
Kalliope May 15
Just like every cliché
You showed up too late to care ,
I gave you a decade of grace
But you never could meet me there,
Now you want me to come home
But I'm trying to start a new life,
My feelings have started to roam
Yet you keep pushing this knife,
The texts and calls are incoming
From I miss you to I hate you,
I can't find words I'm just humming
You made my world every shade of blue,
I stay strong for our daughter
I wish you'd do the same,
But you keep dragging me backward,
I'm tired of carrying the blame.
I cried oceans
To try and teach you the motions
To keep me in your depths,
But I've made it to the shore now
And of this I am sure now
That I'm better off on dry land.
130 · Jun 11
Wrong
Kalliope Jun 11
Maybe I'm nails on a chalkboard,
Interrupting peace with every screech.
Your two least favorite foods mixed together
A sight no one wants to see.

Maybe I’m polka dots paired with stripes,
Three clashing shades of pink.
A beat too fast, the words don’t match,
And you’ll never catch up to me.

I’m toast that's burnt, leaves left on the curb,
The promise of fun—but never the one.
And worst of all?
I’m the one who got me there.
It's just a reminder to be better
129 · Jul 1
Residual Ache
Kalliope Jul 1
Why’d you have to say goodbye?
I was doing fine.
I wasn’t really thinking about it,
There were no tears in my eyes.

Now I’m sitting here once again,
Crying about you,
Because even though I’m doing my best,
There was nothing I could do.

It’d be easier if I could just avoid
This feeling crashing down,
But you know I have to sit with it
Since I’ve been focused on healing now.

Once again my chest feels hollow,
My ribcage collapsing in,
I want off this emotional roller-coaster,
I just want one carnival game win.

I know tomorrow I’ll feel silly
For having held on this tight,
And I will never do this again,
Clearly my mind doesn’t process right.

It’s stupid how fast it hit me,
From just a single little text,
Now my progress feels erased,
And my heart’s a ******* mess.

I almost wish you’d stayed silent,
Kept your goodbye to yourself,
Because I was finally feeling better
Putting your memory back on the shelf.
I'm not sure which is worse, the fact that I'm still grieving or that I'm angry at myself for it.
127 · Jun 24
And...
Kalliope Jun 24
And one night, at two a.m.,
your daughter will grab your face
and say,
"I love you, Mom."
And even though she’s been up for hours,
and your room’s a mess,
and you’re behind on laundry,
and you haven’t had a moment to yourself,
and you’re riddled with anxiety over things that feel unfixable,
and she looks so much like her dad-
all the suffering and pain will melt away for a second,
and you can just be here, in this moment.
And then when you kiss her forehead she’ll say “What the hell? What the helly mom?” and you’ll know you gotta start scrolling TikTok alone.
126 · Jun 3
Snippets #7
Kalliope Jun 3
Over 100 poems
dedicated to you

Is that love
or
Am I crazy
2 pm
Kalliope Jun 10
I could write about castles and elves and fated love all night long but then I'd ignore all my chores and dream
the day gone
I can write these enemies into perfect lovers but where's my energy to fold these freshly washed quilted covers?
The slow burn ends when my pen hits the page but when I'm met with reality
all I feel is rage
And in my poetry I find escape but I'm just staring at my wall, and hitting my vape.
But this is real life- it's not a story
And you're not a heroine designed for tragic glory
120 · Jun 24
Always the Bad Wife
Kalliope Jun 24
My sisters don’t answer their phones
if their boyfriends are asleep-
hardworking men with shifts in the morning
and reputations to keep.
Lunches to pack, clothes laid out neat,
and they do it all willingly,
from a place of love, how sweet.

I did these things too,
once, long ago.
I gave up my needs
for the good wife show.
But if it’s midnight and I want to speak-
I don’t give a **** if that man is asleep.

When’s he been gentle?
When’s he cared back?
I go to work too-
Where the hell is my slack?
A woman stays quiet to keep a man’s peace,
but is that really worth it
when a part of you dies piece by piece?
But no one wants an angry woman, bitter and cold
I'm still figuring out how to be soft and still bold
117 · Jul 1
Game Over
Kalliope Jul 1
I knew that I’d feel silly
After I had some sleep,
Because honestly, you haven’t cared for awhile-
You’ve got a new woman to keep.

I can see your game now,
You just wanted to feel tall,
And the easiest way to do that
Was to make me feel real small.

It’s fine now, it’s whatever,
I’ve wasted tears for over a month.
You could’ve just ******* blocked me
The moment you knew I wasn’t enough.

But that wouldn’t fit your narrative
Of crazy exes to collect,
Still, I hope you’ve done some healing
So you don’t peak her anxiety next.

Isn’t it so funny,
The way these things go?
Life is just a simulation-
Trust, I’m not in your loop anymore
I went against my intuition but I knew it weeks ago when I saw her name, you guys will laugh when you read this and I will never doubt my gut again
108 · Jun 7
Snippets #12
Kalliope Jun 7
The one time I wanted a chaotic shift
And instead I'm handed down time

Ask for a distraction and the universe will say *******
Shift 1
0000
108 · May 11
Scratched Mirror
Kalliope May 11
I avoid my reflection,
can’t look at that woman too long.
The longer I lock eyes with her,
the more I find is wrong.

Maybe I’m over-critical,
but I hate how much she hides.
I can’t take her criticism,
and she’s terrible at goodbyes.

I know she tries hard,
Which just makes me feel worse.
She’s never been enough,
but you can’t live your life feeling cursed.

I avoid my reflection.
You see how fast I spiral—
I start with her nose,
then tear through her woes,
This hating disease must be viral.
The longer I stare, the more I feel stuck
Kalliope Jun 29
I’m not always the most creative,
But I’ve always been a little naive,
Choosing easier routes to healing,
Ones that kept me feeling unseen.

But I think I’m done with hiding now,
Done accepting life’s just pain,
So I’ll start drafting love from everything mundane,
Romanticizing quiet mornings and loud summer rain.

I’ll find poetry in coffee steam,
In the way the trees sway and sigh,
In cracked sidewalks blooming weeds,
And cotton candied evening skies.

Maybe, just maybe,
If I love each gentle, ordinary thing again,
I’ll find the pieces of myself I thought I’d lost,
And fall back in love with life,
Or at least treat it like a friend
If I make myself see the beauty in one small action each day, maybe I can rewire my brain to just simply think that way
106 · Jun 21
Snippets #20
Kalliope Jun 21
I don't even have hobbies anymore
I just cry,
Competitively
2200
104 · Jun 12
Nothing to Skip
Kalliope Jun 12
We never had a song—
no chorus to hum,
no melody stitched
into the seams of us.

And maybe we didn’t need one.
Maybe the silence was enough.
But you love music.
And I love music.

So how did we not have a song,
if the love was real?
When we were dancing
were we pretending to feel?
I have no song I can't listen to while I grieve what was, and somehow that's healing.
104 · 4d
Pre-Grieving
I am so patient and funny and kind
And that's what you like,
A pretty girl with silly rhymes.
I can be funny and laid-back and free-
You love it so much,
Because that's all you can see.

The moment I know your feelings are more,
I start closing up, exposed on the floor.
Really it's backwards, the way my mind acts-
The less that you know, the more we interact.

When you learn secrets and more of my lore,
I start getting nervous, I start locking doors.
What if you find something you’ll never like?
My heart starts racing, I’m braced for a fight.

I almost can't breathe at the thought of you leaving,
I did it again- and now I’m pre-grieving.
It seems fun to fall when I'm up at the peak,
But I’m close to the ground now,
With a crash on repeat.

I pull back the moment it starts feeling good,
Sabotage sweetness- now misunderstood.
I look for red flags in a forest with no debris,
Inventing ghosts no one’s ever even seen.

I scan for signs you’re starting to sway,
Even when your actions beg me to stay.
Afraid of love that might go right,
So I dim all sparks before they light.

But it's all my mind-
It's not even real.
I have to leave the thoughts behind,
Break the hypnotic seal.

You aren't my past-
We haven't even yet said hello.
You look at me with interest,
But you remind me of letting go.
Realizing it's silly to mourn a love not yet savored, I'll step out of my head a bit and do us both a favor.
99 · Jun 7
Weekend Warrior
Kalliope Jun 7
She tells me, “You should have five kids with your face, you’re beautiful,” after she asks how many kids I want and I tell her I think I’m stopping at the one I have. I laugh, because I’m not beautiful.
But I feel seen.

She always calls me beautiful, and I know it’s not my looks. It’s my compassion, my bedside manner. I ask about her day and sometimes I tell her about mine.
She says they don’t talk to her like I do—and that makes me sad.

She’ll tell me about her granddaughter while I prep my supplies, and I’ll remind her to go easy on the girl while I flush her tube.
Her daughter pops in. She knows me by name, wears a look of relief because I’ve already done oral care and tucked her in for the night.
While I clean up, her daughter tells me about her week.
They both say they wish I worked through the week.

I’d like to stay longer, but I’ve got two more rooms.
So I say my goodnights and push my cart along.

She’s on hospice. I know how this goes. I’ve been through this before.
But when she goes, I will miss her.
I’ll hope she finally gets that Bud Light she’s been asking for when she crosses over.
And I’ll think of her every time I prep that room for a new patient.
Sometimes you get the opportunity to take care of someone that makes you remember why you're so passionate about Healthcare in the first place
98 · Jul 3
Sanctuary of Sheets
Kalliope Jul 3
After a long day
my bed calls to me,
Comfy and warm
yet her pillows stay cool to the cheek.

She keeps me company
all through the night,
My thoughts become hers,
in darkness or light.

Will I have good dreams
of love and adventure?
Or will shadows appear,
too deep to mention?

My mind plays tricks,
as she often does,
But my bed fights back
with her comforting hugs.

My neck finds peace
if I lay just right,
She eases my aches
most of the night.

She puts up with my snoring,
my tossing and thrashing,
Each dreamscape journey
more wild and crashing.

And though I kick and I turn
as I move through my dreams,
She never lets me fall out,
always there fixing my seams.
Maybe that's why I always go to her when the world stops making any sense.
93 · Jul 11
Filtered Through Steel
Kalliope Jul 11
I am not sweet,
But I am kind.
I am not filtered,
I will speak my mind.

I don’t need saving,
I’m questing alone.
I’m bad with directions,
But I’ll still find home.

Don’t disrespect me-
Get the **** out of my way.
I’ve had too many distractions
Using my heart as their play.

I wear this armor
Locked around my soul,
But if I’m being honest,
True acceptance is my goal.
Maybe I am sweet though sometimes unkind, this armor I wear fails time after time.
93 · Jun 27
I Loved Love First
Kalliope Jun 27
I love love as depressing as I am
But I love the intimacy-
There's beauty in holding hands
Secrets whispered closely at night,
That deeper understanding reached after the first fight

Working together to complete a goal
With someone beside you,
feeling so whole
Their laughter engraved in your head forever-
There's never been a sound that you've loved better

Caressing their face when
sadness reigns king,
Using their favorites to make them
feel seen
The electricity between two
lovers touching,
The honeymoon phase flirting that leaves them both blushing

A lover always has that certain smirk,
When everything is new and
you love every quirk
You get to be silly no matter your age,
Like fictional romance flew off the page

I love when silence doesn't have to ache,
When it's shared, not something you fake
Two mugs in the morning and
a tangled bedspread,
A soft “good morning” with a
kiss to their head

The little things that no one would see,
Like saving the last bite of dessert
just for me,
Or hearing my favorite song
and hitting repeat,
Because love lives in gestures,
not just in lusts heat

I love how romance is art in motion,
How it mirrors moonlight
across a vast ocean
Not always easy, not always bright,
But it's something sacred in both
storm and light

Maybe I'm dark and I like
to write about sorrow
But I love love even when I have
none to borrow
I can't always find pretty words for the skyline, but love? I've always known how to write it from thin air, I just don't.
92 · 2d
The Silent Hours
I like it at night,
Pacing through the house,
Just my thoughts and me,
Quiet like a mouse.

Cleaning up the messes,
Putting away the day,
Reflecting on each hour,
Resetting the sun’s play.

I light a candle or two,
Letting shadows softly dance,
The flickering glow reminds me
That darkness still has chance.

I sip water from my cup,
Feeling gratitude’s gentle weight,
Thankful for these silent hours
Before tomorrow awakes.

Sometimes I’ll play music,
Maybe I’ll softly sing,
This quiet time with the Universe,
Planning intentions I hope she’ll bring.
And sometimes instead, I just weep.
Kalliope Jul 8
I’m flipping cards and reading the room,
The sun has set, I’ve a meeting with the moon.
I’m begging her, please, take this part out of me,
The part that holds back until she gets up to leave.

I want to be open without all the hurt,
I want something real, something that works.
I daydream and plan and fantasize life a certain way,
But I want to accept it how it is today.

I want to believe the words from his lips,
But I think they’re poison, and I’m being tricked.
I spiral and spin and tornado a lot,
Trying to be brave, something I’m not.

It feels okay until everything is quiet,
Then all of my feelings join in a riot.
I just need a second or two to relax,
But I’m always on edge, and I can’t seem to step back.

Yet I don’t fall, just stand here and wait
For the wind to call or to decide my fate.
Just enough fear to keep me frozen in place,
Standing on a cliff in a purgatory daze.
A little too aware of everything at once
91 · Jul 4
"Bitter Babymama"
Kalliope Jul 4
Every time I think I'm free,
I'm reminded that I'm not-
Years of separation,
Distance, even blocked.

A helping hand from you
Has always been a trap
Wrapped up in bows,
Pretty, but you'll snap.

I always stand my ground,
Cover my walls in spikes,
Until I think about the little boy you were-
You didn't mean to grow with so much spite.

That's always my downfall-
The child in me sees the child in you,
And I just want to save him,
But only you can save him from you.

So I keep taking these setbacks,
Hoping to show you some light,
But you leave me beat and bruised
When I only wanted you to feel less alone on your darkest nights.

I want a friendship,
Be cordial at least,
But there must be something in me
That makes you so ******* mean.

Still, you don’t let me stray far-
If you can’t have me, no one will.
I want to know sweet love while I’m young,
But maybe that prophecy was never mine to fill.
How many times will I fall for the facade?
You get better and better at dragging it out
And when I'm the one who doesn't believe you, everyone treats me like I'm the ******* now
89 · Jul 8
Living Moments
Kalliope Jul 8
It’s like that first time you smoke a cigarette with your friends-
a little gross, but you feel so cool.

Or the first time you flash your
I.D. at the bar,
not knowing what to order, but loving the freedom to choose.

When you’re gripping the steering wheel so tight your knuckles turn white,
finally feeling tires touch concrete that isn’t a parking lot.

Decorating that ****** apartment,
paying the first month’s rent-
broke, yet so **** proud.

Holding your diploma in
trembling hands,
a piece of paper most people get,
but this one has your name on it.

That first day everything clicks at work,
a shift so smooth it’s forgotten on the rough days that follow.

That first kiss under the stars,
dopamine shockwaves flooding
every nerve-
you’ll stay up for days on the memory.

Even the devastating realization
that nothing lasts forever,
laying in bed as rain beats
against your window,
music reverberating through a hollow chest.
Every journey starts with something new
As long as you're brave enough to make the move
85 · Jul 7
Hey, Can I Call?
Kalliope Jul 7
A talk with my sister, and something feels right,
She listens so calmly, she softens my night.
She saw all the bruises that covered my skin,
And says she won’t watch me go through that again.

She tells me I’m worthy of peace
and of rest,
That being myself doesn't make me a jest.
No more pretending, stop shrinking to fit-
It's not worth losing love to please others, is it?

And those who don’t like it? Well, let them all go,
She’ll stand right beside me through my highs and lows.
She says I am loved without mask or disguise,
And I realize I could've just been me this whole time.
I don't have to carry, I can ask for assistance without fear of being mocked or met with resistance.
I thought myself alone
She was here the whole time
84 · Jun 29
Modern Witchcraft
Kalliope Jun 29
I wash myself with water,
you find too hot to touch
But it soothes my aching muscles and
my tired soul so much
Relaxation is becoming me,
with eucalyptus in the air,
Soothing all my senses while I
lather it through my hair
Jelly bean body scrub in hand,
everything smells sweet
Exfoliating the day from my being, removing myself from defeat
Rubbing circles along my jaw to massage away exhaustion,
high pressured heat to free my shoulders of the burden they carry so often
Body oil to top it off,
strawberry my favorite choice
It's hard to hate yourself when you smell so good,
but it's easier to find my voice
It’s just soap and steam and strawberry oil, but it feels like a ritual to remind my body she’s worthy of being loved ✨️
77 · Jul 1
40v Developed Ghost
Kalliope Jul 1
I bleached my hair blonde chasing a version of me that no longer existed,

And was disappointed when I didn't become her.
Bold of me to crave her unhealthy mind simply because she was pretty.
77 · 7d
Discordant Days
Insults thrown as easily as tableware,
And I catch every single one.
I never learned to duck, dodge, or weave-
Plates fall and shatter,
Ceramic cuts my skin.

I stopped trying to get out,
Accepting the pain,
Because I believed I let it begin.

But pain never asks permission.
It just makes itself at home.
Living with it is hard-
But no one tells you
How hard it is
Once you kick it out.

Plates no longer fly.
There are no holes in the walls.
Nothing lurks around the corners,
But still,
Your heart races in the dark.

Safety is an illusion
You can barely see.
Healing is so daunting
When you're attached to pain
You shouldn't be.
I didn’t notice the damage until I began the repairs-
patching holes, sweeping quiet shards,
still cleaning messes long after the breaking stopped.
77 · Jun 23
Small Talk
Kalliope Jun 23
I love burnt marshmallows and my favorite color’s green.
I’ll say I’m very open, but my favorite game’s hide and seek.
I’m kind of bad with money-
ya know, I can always make more.
I’ll distract you with jokes if we dive
too deep into my lore.

I’ll remember your birthday, stress for months on the perfect gift.
I’ll be properly obsessed with you until
I feel the shift.
I am such a lover girl until the
loving feels too real-
giving someone the power to hurt me is a soul-crushing, humongous deal.

I will fight against it-
there’s no love without the risk.
But it will be a struggle, and no one deserves my ******* fits.
One day, someone will want them, raincoat and boots in tow:
“What’s a little rain in the grand scheme,
when at the end I get to love you though?”
I am scared to drown you and I don’t want to sink, but someday, one day, I’ll meet someone who jumps right in and doesn’t blink
75 · Jun 20
Snippets #19
Kalliope Jun 20
I'm a house haunted by our future
And things you've said
New buyers come through  and I scare them away.

You're planning a new build with someone else,

How lovely.
It's 8 am
And I'm sick again
I want to not be like this
If I exist, then I must be real-
That's how it works,
But it's not how I feel.

I look in the mirror,
Glimpse at the reflection,
But I walk right through her-
We have no connection.

And how many words
Can I say, rambling on,
Before someone realizes
They carry no weight?

Wasting the air
From my tired lungs-
Words are just words
When no action comes.

But action proves nothing
If my words aren’t right;
I could move mountains
And still lose the fight.

I could fill every hole
That’s carved in the ground,
But none of it matters
If I do so without sound.

If I’m not weeping,
Or begging, or screaming,
I make them uneasy-
My silence unredeeming.

I speak so much
It makes my throat hurt.
Sick of myself,
Sick of this work.

And if I begged
This sickness to take me,
She’d just laugh-
And keep on berating.

I know I’ll get up,
I’ll just walk away.
It never lasts long.
It’s only a phase.

But when your villain
Is the girl in the mirror,
It’s hard to ignore
A fear drawn so clear.
Words lead to words that turn into thoughts, but when they're ideas? Pursue them I do not.
71 · Jun 10
Next to You
Kalliope Jun 10
I think you're beautiful
From your soul to your toes
And though you don't like it,
I love your big nose
I think you're pretty,
stealing glances at me
My cheeks will get rosy but
I'll pretend I don't see
I think you're handsome,
with the strength that you carry,
a light as bright as yours,
takes a lot of effort to bury
I think you're beautiful when you feel that you are not,
seeing you smile- I loved that alot
I think you're gorgeous,
a compassionate man,
dealt lackluster cards yet
creating the upper hand
I think you're beautiful
In all that you do,
And when I picture future me?
She's sitting right next to future you.
Words unsaid can't haunt me if I say them and stop worrying about the outcome
69 · Jul 1
Never Your Endgame
Kalliope Jul 1
A cleaner slate than ever,
All traces scrubbed away,
And while I can admit I was cowardly,
That’s something you’d never say.

I no longer crave your closure,
The whole picture’s clear to see,
It was never about my well-being
You just found someone else to please.

Which makes it extra ******,
Reaching out just to gloat,
You couldn’t leave me be,
Had to shove it down my throat.

It’s changed my whole perception
Of the soul I thought you had,
I believed all that interlinked *******-
So that’s my ******* bad.

Now you open another playbook,
Most likely filled with the same plays,
And I just have to laugh at myself-
That’s just the way of the game.
There's so many of you who personally reach out to me, which is sweet ❤️ so I'm gonna say in advance I am fine, I just feel very bitter today and I'll be back on the path to loving life again tomorrow ✨️
67 · Jun 6
Snippets #10
Kalliope Jun 6
Time goes by slower

           When I'm Desperate
                        
                        To know what you're doing
1800
66 · Jul 11
Noises
Kalliope Jul 11
I’m shaking, I’m breaking, I don’t know what to say,
I know I have faults, but you made me this way.
I grew you gardens, you smashed them to the ground,
Made me feel like I was horrible to be around.

You’d do anything for me, a knight at my heel,
But when I got comfortable, that’s when you got real.
Suit of armor discarded, no time to waste,
I must submit and forget freedom’s taste.

I can’t trust your kindness, it always feels fake,
Anxiety peaked, each smile feels like a mistake.
I tunneled out, broke away from your ground,
But you broke my mind, my thinking unsound.

If someone is kind, my heart starts to race,
Because kindness once ended with knuckles to my face.
Trust in this world is so hard to be found,
I’m trying to heal, but I’m being too loud.

Yet I don’t know any other way,
Than to scream my thoughts and even my pain.
It’s up and down, this chaos I’m feeling,
It’s bitterly exhausting—
But I guess that’s just healing.
I want off this rollercoaster ride
I want away from this unsteady tide
I hate feeling like this at night
I know, I know it'll be alright
65 · Jul 6
Summer Days
Kalliope Jul 6
Heat waves rush my body,
Warming my skin,
Threatening to blind me,
But I just breathe it all in.

Sunglasses on,
Two hands on the wheel,
We’ve got somewhere to go,
And I want something to feel.

She plays in the park,
Discovering more every day,
And I watch her quietly,
Realizing I’m the same way.

I thank the moon
For all the guidance she’s given,
But I want to live now
That the sun has risen.

So I’ll play the monster,
And swing on the swings,
Chase my daughter around
For the joy that it brings.

It feels so good,
Being free in the sun-
I can assess my thoughts later,
Right now, I’m having fun.
Sometimes moments not centered around healing can heal too
62 · Jul 2
Morning Embrace
Kalliope Jul 2
I’m not a morning person,
And I’ve never liked birds,
But today I sat outside
With my coffee in hand.

Yeah, it was hot,
But the heat felt good on my skin,
Like the sun was embracing me
As he rose from his slumber,
Like I was the first thing he reached for
When he woke up.

The breeze swayed the grass gently,
Carrying quiet secrets in its sigh,
And for a moment I wondered
If mornings had always felt this kind,
Or if today was just different,
Because I finally let myself enjoy it.

It was a good morning,
My thoughts finally at ease.
I’ve always loved the sunset,
But watching the sky fade
From cool blues to warm hues
Felt special in a way I didn’t expect.
And I wonder if he enjoyed his morning with me too
62 · Jun 30
A Pinch of Chaos
Kalliope Jun 30
I like to cook,
To cut and to chop,
Follow a recipe?
I think the **** not.

I guess and I taste
As I go along,
Each meal is different,
Every seasoning strong.

A pan so hot
With its sizzling sound,
Don’t come in my kitchen-
My chaos all around.

The water is boiling,
Steam clouds the air,
There’s flour on my face,
Chili powder in my hair.

Everyone knew
It was my turn to cook dinner,
Music blasting loud-
Master chef sinner.

I sing off-key
While I stir the ***,
But it smells delicious,
And that’s what I’ve got.

When it’s all done,
I plate it so nicely,
A centering ritual
That sometimes feels wifely.
For now I sweep the flour alone and scrub each little spill, but someday someone will help me clean, and we’ll dance in the kitchen until the world grows still
62 · Jun 23
Strawberry Cheesecake
Kalliope Jun 23
I had coffee and tea,
just the way I like.
I played music all day,
some loud, some quiet.

I didn’t panic once-
no shame, no crying.
I washed my face,
took care of my skin,
was gentle with myself.

I chose strawberry cheesecake body oil
over bed-rotting despair,
I deep conditioned and
re-dyed my hair.

And tomorrow I might do less,
or maybe more-
but today I loved me
in every pour.
Maybe it's silly but,
I think I'll be fine
I loved me so much today,
I deserve a glass of wine 🍷
60 · Jun 5
Author Unhinged
Kalliope Jun 5
I don't know how to end a story, don't see when the plot has died
Especially when it's a good scene, and the mood is always just right
The sun is setting- there's lovers on the beach, the future stands before them with nothing out of reach
Maybe that's not in the cards they pulled, I should let the story line fade out, but that makes me physically ill,
"They belong together" I shout-
And I'll stall the scene with every breathe, hoping hope can out-write loves death
Maybe that's why I write poems, not novels
60 · Jul 14
Handled Without Care
Kalliope Jul 14
I placed you upon my highest shelf,
Where no one ever sat before,
My prized possession, the collectable
I’d always been yearning for.

All my toys end up broken or lost,
A fate that eats me alive,
But you- I was determined not to break,
So I kept you out of these hands of mine.

I adored you from a distance,
Too scared to get too close,
You were lonely on that shelf,
To be played with, you wanted most.

My hands clumsy, your heart so fragile,
A dangerous game we played,
Measuring my worth around your presence-
If you looked fine, then I was okay.

But looks have always been deceiving,
It doesn’t mean things were smooth,
My sweet trophied, prized companion
Just wanted me to hold him too.

Slowly, I became bolder,
Taking you down from that shelf,
And for a while, it was heaven,
But soon enough, we needed help.

You were fragile, and I was clumsy,
We know how this story ends-
I was angry, you were gentle…
I should have never held you in my hands.
If I'd have stuck with video games I could have just reloaded my last save.
60 · Jul 25
Nebulized Hope
Kalliope Jul 25
Star-crossed dreamers,
Bound together by thread,
Cosmic peaceful bliss-
But lover, that planet is dead.

The wind carries no laughter,
The sun has lost its heat,
Nighttime is silent and dark now,
Its life cycle complete.

The trees have all now rotted,
The soil has long turned sour,
It’s been months since April’s showers,
And May could never flower.

Lover, I must escape now,
The oxygen is gone,
I know you said you’d never be back,
But I was hoping you were wrong.

I planned to stay here,
To fix it in your absence,
So if you did return,
You’d see we could make sense.

Your rocket never flew back,
And lover, I know not where you went,
Trembling in my escape pod,
Hoping where you are, I’m sent.

I sealed this final message,
In orbiting satellite streams,
Hoping the words find you,
Beyond our broken dreams.

I know this was our ending,
And it echos through the void,
Now our world has perished,
Our civilization destroyed.

I can’t look out this window,
To watch our star implode,
But I feel it in my chest,
That sharp sting of letting go.

And while I drift away,
To somewhere perceived safe,
To long forget our planet,
And the evolution we made.
Just another point of interest blacked out on my astronomers map.
56 · Jun 26
Snippets #21
Kalliope Jun 26
Sleep evades
A restless soul
Mind replays
What once felt whole
Heart thumping
Out my chest
Shaky hands
Doing my best
Visions blur
You never touched-
So how the ****
Do I miss you this much?
0400
54 · Jul 19
Property Line Magic
Kalliope Jul 19
In the middle of an ordinary cornfield,
In an ordinary place,
Stands a small group of trees
Spared from agricultural fate.

Chosen by fairies–
Forever their glade,
Or spared by corporate greed,
Property line arguments man-made.

Whatever the reason,
It rests in the fog,
Magical as ever,
Eerie, a bit odd.

Yet it doesn’t look out of place,
It fits just right,
A hidden little wonder
Tucked away out of sight.

I hope there are fairies,
Or witches, or gnomes,
Living in that haven,
Their whimsical home.
I think there's magic in things left untouched
And maybe magic isn't real, but I believe it is so hush.
Kalliope Jun 16
Yeah I'm so funny for the stories I tell, but I lived my twenties thinking living was hell
Sure, now it's hilarious that my past was so **** wild but is it really?
I was just a child
I did what I needed to-
I stuck it out, I took my beatings and I tried not to pout, he was the path I chose and there was no way out.
I was seventeen living miles away and when I needed it most, my family never came.
We wonder now, why I stayed, all the things he did to me I should have felt betrayed.
Though he was my captor, he felt more like a savior and maybe thats why for so long-
I excused his behavior.
When no one else would help me, he would stand right there, yeah sometimes he would hurt me, but so did everyone else who cared.
I know now it wasn't love-
just possession and control,
but that 17 year old girl in me was always desperate to prove that wrong.
You don't know you're in an abusive relationship until it's too late
And you don't process how truly bad it got until you're completely out
Kalliope Jun 25
I like when it storms,
the push and the pull
I'm addicted to the adrenaline and playing who's the fool
I've got a boat to survive the hurricane,
It's a little rickety and there's a few holes but what's love if you can't thrive in the rain?
Sometimes we drown but it's not forever, something about gasping for air makes that first breath of understanding better
I might run from your thunder until I match the beat,
find me in your orchestra-
the very first seat
It's always a shock when my lightning strikes, sudden and bitter and riddled with spite
But the worst part is when quiet comes, can we afford to rebuild or do we leave our land destroyed as it was?
And like a wild fire it's aftermath is devastating
But how can we breath new life into what's already overgrown?
Next page