Maybe if I,
Bent over backwards until my spine ******* snapped.

If I,
Went broke trying to spoil you,
To your hearts content.

If I,
Said yes,
For you,
There's no such thing as no.

If I,
Isolated myself,
So it's just you and me.

If I,
Rushed things,
Bought the ring,
Forgot about the speed.

If I,
Fought against,
Every guy you'd ever **** meet.

If I,
Throw away my trauma,
**** mine,
Yours is what mattered.

If I,
Worked some more,
You had 1 job,
Me 4,
But YOU need the break.

If I,
Give you MY house,
Give you MY car,
Everything in MY name.

If I,
Degrade myself,
"I'm disgusting."
I bet that'd boost your self esteem.

If I,
Never gave a ****,
And just let you do your own thing.

If I,
Shut my mouth,
Didn't stress about the rent.

If I,
Never stood up for once,
And demanded some respect.

If I,
Wasn't human,
Just one of your pets.

If I,
If I.

Maybe if you,
Didn't leave me,
Utterly broken and damaged.

Then maybe,
Time healed,
There were no pills,
And I could of managed.

Instead,
I sit here.
Crying,
Wondering "what the **** happened".

Asking myself,
"If i",
"If you".
As if that would've mattered.

Together 4 years,
Now for 4 months.
You don't even know,
That I've vanished.




-Tré

She wrote,
‘Happy New Year’

I stared at the words
long enough to feel
their weight.

So I wrote back,
‘You too’.

But I really meant to say,
‘Happy for who?’

Not me.
Not you.

She doesn't need to feel
the weight of poems
on her already weakened body.

I want to give her space
so she doesn't feel smothered.

She makes a bad, bad prisoner.
I know that.
Yet I can't help
but dream of prisons
where it's just me and her.

I will walk to the end of the world
and find the harshest cliff on its edge.
I will enter the darkest, most hidden cave
and crawl through its narrow passages
until not even I can find a way out.

Then, in the deepest halls of earth,
where no one has ever been before me
and where no one will ever be after,
I will finally say what's on my heart,
what has burdened me for centuries.

I will whisper it softly at first,
then say it out loud.
And then I will scream it
until the ceiling starts to crumble.
Until it buries me with the thing
I had no one else to tell.