Laying in the recovery room,
Bleary from the pain
"It's an 8.5!"
And waiting,
For the medication to drip in
I lay alone in the bed,
Pump on my arm,
Weights on my legs,
And a tube blowing warm air
Under the thin hospital blanket

I looked to the gap in the curtain,
And imagined you walk in,
A smile on your face, so certain
Like being there was where you'd always been
And your eyes lit up when you saw me,
And you said to me, "let's take you home"
But I was blind and it was hard to breathe
Thinking, would you have come, if you'd known?

Look at me
Look at me
What do you see?
Am I who I am or not?
All the people who loves me
Are the same people who really don’t

Look at me
Look at me
What do you see?
Looking in my eyes
Do you see a real person or just a lie?

In this world dictated by faces
I already forgotten the real me
Do I have to paint it more?
Or just let this beautiful mask burn into ashes?

Look at me
Look at me
What do you see?
Reflecting in that eyes of yours
Is that truly I am?

Look at me
Look at me
What do you see?
Beneath this mask is an ugly face
I kept hidden away
This is the person I truly was

In this world dictated by faces
I finally remembered who I am
Taking off this deceiving mask
Look, this is the real me

Look at me
Look at me
Now that you see
Would you still love me?
All that I am are just lies
Would you still be with me?

Look at me
Look at me
Now that you see
Are you going to turn away?
The me who only wanted to be loved
Are you going to shun me?

In this world dictated by faces
I threw away the ugly me
Wearing this beautiful mask once more
I’ll continue to be that person that wasn’t really me

Broken promises and worn out prayers
Hidden scars and faulty smiles
Fake drama and real pain
Suffocating cloths and toxic perfume
Heated debates and empty conversation

The halls a breeding ground for heartbreaking backstory bullies
A library filled with kids whose mouths are sewn shut
The Cafeteria full, but no ones eating
Basketball court of anger management and broken dreams
Girls bathroom mirrors covered in expectations
Boys yelling swear words, but long for a hug
The teachers break room with an emergency stash
And a principle on the phone slowly dying inside

School nice and tidy
Kids aren't too rough
But please look on the inside
Because everyone has had enough

I'm kinda bad at making friends
but even worse at keeping them.
Hold everyone at a distance,
when they leave put up no resistance.
I know I will say goodbye soon,
to even those I'm closest to.
Compartmentalize, tell aimless lies,
never truly look into their eyes.
Loneliness is self inflicted.
The death of friendship isn't only predicted,
but anticipated and orchestrated.
Over and over this has been demonstrated.
Apathy feeds isolation,
causing me to turn from anyone
who turns even slightly away from me.
Now, isolation feeds apathy,
I move on so quickly from the friends I lose,
and so you see the cycle continues.