closing
my eyes

feeling
the soft screeches
of baby birds
and
the rustling
of the trees
in the winnd

finding
inner peace
and
calm

what should be
will come
and if
it doesn't come
then it just shouln't be

but in my heart
i still hope
that
someday
there will be
shared feelings
between us

isn't it crazy,
how our heart
always desires something
we can't have?

sometimes
my heart
wants to tell
my friends
about me

but my head
is still
stronger

and my anxiety
may be irrelevant
but
it's still there

your green eyes
were fixed
on the screen

and you
were listening
to your favorite songs


my brown eyes
tried to
catch yours

and i were
listening absently
to my friends
and the song
that reminds me
of you

jealousy
is an
ugly thing

it consumes
you
until
it destroys
you

those
*******
winks

seeing you
in the
early morning
always
makes me grateful
that i
stood up

i always hope
it is
your name
that pops up
on my screen

my heart
keeps holding on
whilst
my head
is letting go

again and
again and
again and
...

i always
go to bed
hoping
that i dream

cause in my dreams
it is you
i meet

cause in my dreams
i can live
what i imagine

cause in my dreams
you feel
the same way
i do

so when i
wake up
i am disappointed
that my dream
had to end

my fingers
are dancing
over the keys
playing songs
on their own

while
my thoughts
are
with you

you have

no idea

what your laugh

does to me

i was staring
trough the screen
into your eyes

as i whispered
into the dark

"what's the deal
with you?"

and i waited
for an answer

in vain

when i am
lost in thoughts
and
look up
to the moon

it almost feels
as if they say

"everything
is going to be
alright."

Maybe this something is the fact, that he has a girlfriend.
Maybe this something is the fact that he treats her well, which confirms my picture, my imagination of him.

But maybe this something is my hope, when he told me, something in their relationship seems to fade, seems to be lost.

Maybe I just like complicated things.
Maybe I just like daydreaming about someone, who doesn’t love me.

Who probably never will.

Maybe this something is the way he’s trying to make me laugh.
Like when he makes a joke and waits for my reaction.
Or when he moves along with music with the awareness, that it looks funny.
And I think that’s really sweet.  

I mean… he’s such a ******. But it’s sweet.

last night
I turned
my music
up loud
trying to
silence
my thoughts

spoiler:
it did not
work

green eyes
are the last thing
i see
before
they meet me
again
in my dreams

my mind
keeps running
running away
from the idea
of an us

but my heart
keeps coming back
whispering
what if...?

are you just
an extrovert

or do you

try to get
my attention?

oh, i wonder

did my
birthday wishes
make you
smile?

and by itself
my gaze
always
found its way
back to you

as if
it was
magically
drawn to you

it’s 12am
and i’m sitting in my bed
with nothing
but my headphones on
and an idea of
you and me

my mind
is foggy
and drunken

but

somehow
it still
found its way
through
to you

even if
they were
meant with
good intentions

the choice
of words
could not
have been
more painful


as the words
burned into
my brain

were you
just bored
or
did you
really want to
talk with me?

i guess
i am just
a sucker
for hopeless
romances

how do i explain
what
you make me
feel?

she was
acting strong
hiding
behind a mask
of indifference
and sarcasm

and she indeed
is strong
even behind
the mask

but not
in the way
you may think

she is strong
because
she keeps going,
crying behind
closed doors.
she keeps fighting,
no matter
how many times
she lost hope.
and she is strong
because she
dares to love
although
her heart
already broke
too often

i shouldn't be jealous
i really shouldn't

but there
seems to be
a tiny part
in me
that just won't
understand that

i know
that i shouldn't
daydream that much

about you
about us
about what we could be

but
i can't help myself

Maybe this something is the fact, that he won’t disappear out of my head.
When I lay in bed, with my headphones on, I often find myself thinking about him.

Fantasize about dates we will never have.
About a kiss we will never have.
About a future we will never have.

Maybe this something is that these daydreams are stuck in my head, even though he doesn’t even do something…

do you
tell
the stars
and moon
about me
too?

i just
want you
to
like me

the way
i like you

And even after all, I don’t really know him.
Even after all, I’m not sure, what I feel for him.
If he is my imagination of an amazing boyfriend.
If it’s a crush.
If it’s love.

But I know that there is something about him, something I’m not really sure about.
Something that messes with my feelings.
Something, that I want to get to know.

why
do you start
a conversation
when
you don't
finish it?

how
can a person be
as pure
as sweet
as kind
as humble
as you?

remember when
you nearly fell
off the bench
because someone
pushed you?

remember how
i slang an arm
around your waist
so you wouldn't fall?

remember how
you stared into my eyes
smiled and thanked me?


well,
in that moment
i'd have loved
to kiss you
but instead
i just
smiled back
and continued
to dance
with you

Maybe this something is his eyes. His hazel eyes.
Maybe it’s the way they look at you.
Maybe it’s the way he winks at me.
It’s attractive but also really cute.

Maybe it’s the fact, that his eyes are telling how he really feels. Maybe it’s the way, that his eyes are the keys to his soul.
You feel like you could touch it.
Maybe it’s the way you could stare into his eyes forever.

But maybe only I could stare into these eyes forever.

who is
the lucky one
who won
your heart?

There’s something about him.
I don’t know what it is, but there’s something.

Maybe this something is his look. His appearance.
He’s like the boy next door. With shaggy hair and hazel eyes.
Maybe it’s his smile. His laugh.

Maybe this something is in the way he moves
or in the way he talks.
Maybe it’s how he keeps eye contact whilst talking to you.
Maybe it’s the way he moves his hand trough his hair.

Maybe this something is the fact that he can be a real gentleman.
But maybe it’s the fact that in heart, he’s still a kid.

laying in bed
listening
to this song

i had to
admit to
myself
that

no matter
how cliché
it may sound

i would wait
for him

i would
give him
the world

if he would
just show me
that

there is
just the
slightest chance
that
in the future
he would want
to be with me

so much happened
in that night
i don't know
where to start
or what to feel

i just read
old poems

and although
some may
still feel
accurate

i feel like
a complete
different person

Maybe this something is the way he is a bit childish.
But in a sweet way.
Maybe it’s the way he’s walking springy when he’s in a good mood and not surrounded of people.
But maybe he’s only like that when he’s with me.

Maybe this something is the fact that he’s not ashamed in front of me.
That he sings along with songs, no matter if it sounds good or not. But maybe he just does this when he’s with me.

just
hearing

your
voice

over
the telephone

made me
smile like an idiot

her green eyes
and
her wide smile
are
chasing me

Maybe this something is his body language.
Maybe it’s the way you can tell how he feels in the way he moves.
If he’s comfortable or if he isn’t. But maybe only I can tell it.

Maybe this something is his humour.
He doesn’t take everything too serious, which is great, because he always relaxes the mood.
Maybe it’s the fact, that he sometimes tries to relax the mood in inappropriate situations.

your green eyes
met
my brown eyes

and whilst you
never broke
the eye contact
i did

but i
was always
the first
to look again