one time i wanted to run away
all the way to Vermont
that's where i was gonna go
i knew someone there
and i was gonna run to them
i looked up a map
even packed a bag
but then my parents found out
that i was talking to this guy
i couldn't sleep in my room for a while
they watched me
to make sure i wouldn't leave
in the middle of the night while they were asleep
i want to run again
run as far as i can
i'm always running anyway
always running
when am i going to stop?

i wonder if you ever drank
because you missed me

at least i have you when my life is ****
at least i have your love
at least you exist
because if you didn't
if you weren't in my life
there would probably be
blooding spilling out of my wrists
or a rope around my neck
or pills down my throat
right this very moment

You
With your words
The Knife.
You.

Me
Knowing and not knowing,
Afraid and clueless.
Me.

Us
A thing that used to be,
The dust on the mantle.
Us.

We
Will never be the same
The blood that was spilled across the floor.
We.

This crime scene filled with pain and sorrow and regret.  The murderer and the victim one in the same—but also separate.  Two hearts that both dance to the same miserable song.

the angel on my shoulder
picked up smoking,
the devil on the other
took up yoga—

they don't know
how much they have
in common.