On a Wednesday morning, clear and calm,
                     I went to Astor Place
and had a gypsy read my palm
                     or maybe just my face.

She said my heart was heavy
                     and my head was stuffed with lies.
But things like that weren't on my hand,
                     they hid behind my eyes.

The room is dull and dank and cold but at
least I have a hand to hold.

I want to kiss you all day.
I want to start at dawn.
I want our mouths to dry out by breakfast.
I want our jaws to start cramping by noon.
I want us to question our decision to kiss all day by hour five.
I want to have *** really quickly then seriously stop all this kissing ******* because you need your personal space, apparently.

I am an architect,
I am a lawyer,
I am an accountant,
I am an engineer,
I am a surgeon
I am pharmacist,
I said,
I made you all,
I
Am
A
Teacher
28/7/2025

Last night I opened the door to a fear I do not know,
a stranger from the street.
Its overwhelming silhouette now casting over my feet.

It greeted me like a neighbour,
tightly gripping at my hand,
a warmth not becoming of the spectre I did not understand.

For my life I've carried this scar.
A symbol of my mother's mercy,
A blessing of a life for which others have been thirsty.

I quietly parade it in defiance,
that slender crescent moon,
rising from my skin so as not to be forgotten.

Now I stand at the doorway of my conscience
and warily make acquaintance,
with the helpless fear that long feasted on my mother's patience.

last night
I dreamt
that I got into
a fistfight
with Copernicus
because
he wouldn't agree
with me that
the universe seems
to revolve around
your smile

his palms are wide and his fingers square
his skin is so pale that you can see veins pumping blue underneath
& it makes the red torn skin on his knuckles stand out that much more

Don’t you dare go back to her—
After I walked through endless doors,
Searching for her shadow
And never finding more.

Each door I opened led nowhere—
No clue, no trace to hold her hand.
Yet you—
You get to touch her once again?

I waited through seasons,
Gathered petals just for her.
You walked her aisle empty-handed,
Still gave the smile I was breathing to deliver—
And failed.

I polished her silhouette each night,
Lit it in gold so she’d walk with pride beside me.
You brought her barefoot,
Only your hand raised in air—
And she came.

I dressed myself in ornaments,
Coats and suits—
You wore cotton and caught her gaze
Like it was meant for you.

I slicked my hair with layers of foam,
Wished her fingers through it just once.
You, with your effortless strands,
Felt her touch like it belonged.

I earned these four wheels
To show her the world.
You needed none—
She walked beside you anyway.

So maybe—
Maybe I didn’t mean it
When I told you not to go back to her.

It’s just—
My world shook.
My heart sank over
All the small things I couldn’t do.

I’m not angry.
Just jealous.

Jealous of you—
Who could break her heart
And still keep her soul.

While I—
Who mended it—
Was never chosen to fill that space.

I hate how many words I've wasted
Just thinking of you
How many poems pile
The washed away blood
In my bathroom tiles
Which have haunted me
Since I first spoke your name
A title so mistaken
It has a different ring to it
Nowadays

God I miss you; I miss every bit of you
But I have to let you go
Goodbye to the boy with soft fluffy hair and golden eyes
Goodbye to the boy I would’ve stayed up to any hour to be with
Goodbye to the boy who made me feel more than I ever have before
Goodbye to every piece of you that cared and every piece that ran from me

Goodbye to the boy with the angelic voice
Goodbye to the boy with the strategic mind
Goodbye to the boy who always knew how to hurt me
Goodbye to the boy whose smile made it better
Goodbye to the boy I cried for
Goodbye my love who never quite was “my” love
I’ll see you again one day