It is but a fool, traitor, and swine
That would trade love
That would trade kindness
Or friendship so true
For paltry treats
Like 30 pieces of silver

Draw your tribal ring
And watch it become forcefield
As you sleep face-up
And jilted friends bide time
For your 30 pieces of silver
May form a blade in your spine

I live every day in a self-inflicted wound
With self-destructive tendencies, my insides are festooned
I fill my lungs with nicotine to keep me calm
Adderal to keep me going as the day drags on
Alcohol to slow my breath and make me smile
Caffeinated beverages push me through each mile
Streaming television at all hours, night or day
To forcibly make vicious thoughts of self-loathing go away
Painkillers are administered every night for sleep
Behavioral modification so crazy thoughts won't make a peep
I drank, I smoked, consumed, and used
Altered, Changed, Rewired, Abused
Danced in the streets, a wistful fool
Clearly a vagabond, with pharmaceutical tools
     Can't I stop?
Dance for us you idiot, give us delight
     Why can't I stop?
Stand up like the stupid puppet you do each night
     I'll stop!
Make merry like the fiend you are
     ...and it stopped
With the screeching brakes, horrible crash, and flipping of a car

Oh for a poor vagabond like me
My only drug now is the long road of recovery

I thought of cool lines with hard angles
Sliding fingers across steel burnished bright
The touch felt solid under rapt enraptured fingers
Heavy to the hand, but built so very light

This gun was my protection
It shimmered in the moonlight, built for feel
Blurring hard angles into smooth curves
Steel gave way to flesh, earthly appeal

Lubrication turned to sweat, slick with desire
This power is intoxicating, it makes me free
Silky hair took place of polymer coat
My lover was my gun
Pointed right at me

-------To My Wonderful, And Growing Hello Poetry Family-------
Your kindness lifts me like a broken bird
So gentle I lay in your strong hands
Which bandaged me, and saw me through
Nursing back my strength and will
And with you, I now fly

Your kindness guides me in my infant ways
Showing me what's right from wrong
Taking me to greater understanding
Molding my youthful mind
And with you, I now learn

Your kindness pulls me in, your broken-hearted friend
Gentle fingers caress my hair
Your smile encourages my expression
Never a barbed judgment against me
And with you, I now write

Explicit......  uh....  sort of*

I have wanted you all day,
Dreamt of you all night,
As my skin is flush,
And smells of hard days' work,
Sawdust, sweat, and leather,
My hands rough against you,
I yearn and you give way,
Slightly melting at my touch,
As I tear aside your covering,
Exposing you,
To the warm afternoon air,
You glisten,
As I lean in,
The heat of my tongue,
Caressing you softly,
And you fully melt away,
I will never love,
Another rocket pop,
The way I loved you,
A cold treat after a long day.

I couldn't help myself
Addicted to the taste you gave
The way you held my hand
Your fingers through my hair
I felt you
You felt me
You said you'd hold me
And I felt you
Drift away

The mountains of Colorado,
Are tall and lightning jagged,
With high passes of ice and snow,
Broken glass breath run ragged,
When I happened upon a snag,
A slip and slide and ankle pang,
Losing bearing and losing bag,
I heard a sharp click, snap, twang

On my back in heap of snow,
With burning ache of broken bone,
Crimson pool began to grow,
And with my pain, I was alone,
But a greater pain was coming through,
A sorrowful knell, my heart sang,
Fear sunk in of not seeing you,
My heart then broke-
With a click, snap, twang

Note:  This is some random crazy stuff an old dude said to me on a bus and does not constitute an opinion of the artist.  I just wanted to share.

"Boy, never run backward
Through a cornfield
Without your overalls on...
Unless you have a *** of warm butter."

For all the lies you told
          While laying in an empty bed-
          You were never so good
          As you were,
          The night you floated away

                    You were like a stone,
                    Hit upon another stone,
                    Echoing through an empty hallway-
                    Your broken soul
                    Was only good
                    For breaking souls
            
                                              ­              You hurled glass-heavy bricks
                                                          ­  Through my empty windows,
                                                        ­    Tied on with love-notes,
                                                     ­       Penned foul with fetid ink
                                                            A­nd left-
                                                           ­ Only to confuse the masses
                                                          ­       Of sad, stupid, people

                                        You built a paper-tiger army-
                                        Made to rush through flames,
                                        At the Chicago Fire battlefield
                                        You set in my heart,
                                        While children sold a solemn pitcher
                                        Of kerosene-laced gasoline-
                                        For every thirsty watcher

You bled out oxygen,
And complained,
When you nor I
Could breathe.
My bandage never had a hope,
Or chance to adhere

                                                         ­                You spoke a tragic song
                                                            ­             Like a caged bird-
                                                           ­              Beating wings ******
                                                          ­               Against a solid freedom
                                                         ­                That you would rob from me

                                           You swung away from truth-
                                           Only the harshest reality
                                           Was a gift worth giving to me
                                           Much like an orphaned child,
                                           Handed a tattered box,
                                           Unwrapped to find a broken toy
                                           Who would never find a use

You stare at my parted lips
Preparing for my kiss
Thinking everything is fine
But you should read between the lines

such a thing
a little kiss
my lower lip
sandwiched between yours

no small occurrence
as your lips
drew me in
and I lost

my grounded inhibitions
my smooth resistance
my very soul
drawn into yours

Do you feel
what I feel
when I touch you?
              Are you lit
              by a fire
              of intensity?
                            Or do you
                            feel that spark
                            of blue electricity?

As I feel you
I wait for you
to answer
with your fingertips.

You're a ******* fool
If you bite a lemon
And pray for the taste-
Of rosemary and sage

build me carefully
life brought so powerfully
structures of rigidity
extreme specificity

you built me so sinewy
and made me free
deep voice for my decree
echoing over the sea

you made me
you made me free
and you might disagree
but,
now you can't make me

Who are you to light fires
Among dry weeds and felled trees
Spread your wrath elsewhere
Lest someone with more heat
Comes to cool you off

If you were a knife,
I couldn't cut through -
Warm butter or soft bread,
As your wit is so dull

Heart - may lead us down broken paths,
yet allows us to see the true beauty
within each other

Oh I can't stop these words
tumbling and falling
from empty spaces in my head
as they ride the wicked helix
from here to hell and back again
on fettering wings like bats
that get caught in angel hair spaghetti
that gets flushed down the toilet with all the other
goldfish crackers

Each shouting head
surrounds me in rings of fire
with one desire
to watch me burn
as they hula-hoop with rubic's cubes on boomerangs
set for mars or maybe Seattle

Sometimes it's just this way for me
with my mind floating free
like butterflies in nets
or sickly flies in butter
waiting for the spread
but you know it's 10 to 1
and I'm about to get knocked out
I hope you didn't place your bets
on me

I wish the endless stream of consciousness
didn't feel like emptiness
with the only ears that listen
are glued to my head
like Halloween costumes
when Jason stole my candy, called me a dandy,
and ran the hell away

It's really hard to describe
when words won't take logical form
like being gaslighted by my own brain
who wears red ribbons
and plays with ***** of yarn
on rolling farms
as the cow jumped over the moon

But if you think that the cow
was a sight to behold
my imagination's untold secrets
got something for your mental circus
I just saw purple hydras on amino acid trips
riding unicycles
wearing diapers
hanging out with Picasso
who said
"What does this poem even mean, bruh?"