Shes bi!
Polar or ******?
Not sure if a genius or schizophrenic.
Have you considered both?
She can't get a man as her son is Autistic.
You mean she can't be bothered with judgemental fools like you.
Keep away from her she's a man eater.
Are you jealous because you are not on the menu.
You just don't know
So keep quiet.

Never date anyone looking for a lifeboat.
The problem is lifeboats are for the short term until they get picked up by a ship or find land. You're then left up **** creek without a paddle!
And I ain't paddling it for anyone elses ***!

Buddha said
"You think you have time"
There is always something.
An event
A target
A deadline
Always something
Then one day you look over your shoulder and the times up
No pause, replay, no going back to edit.
You get one shot at it in this life
Maybe there is another.
Are you willing to take that chance?
Kick the leaves
Paddle in the river
Eat the cake
Take chances
Tell people you love them
Do things and don't have a bucket list
Take the time to live and love
Don't just exist
Because you don't have time
You just think you do
I wish I had

For me there was never a time I felt alone.
Lonely sometimes but never alone.
Even when left and treated harshly I could always find solace in music or a hiltop to watch the world go by and lick my wounds.
But the day came when I was truly alone.
The day I saw her face

When we look into a crowd, how do we know what's real?
Until we physically touch one of those people, how do we know they even exist at all?
Some people say they "see" spirits. Be they dead or from another reality, they believe they see the crossover from one  existence to another.
But what if they do? What if all that we see is as Poe said "A dream within a dream"

I bid you!
Step back and look at relationships.
Love
when did it become a taboo word.
When did actually working for something become so so hard?
Do we fall in love or has it now become a matter of social engineering based on salary and position?
Or has it always been that way?
Has love become an asset?
Is it obtainable or disposable?
Have we become the embodiment of Barbarella?
Dial 9 for ***?
Do we even know what love is anymore?
We place so many restraints upon ourselves.
Date sites read like you want to build your partner from Lego!
"Must be tall"
"Must be athletic"
"Must be blonde and have blue eyes"
Hell it reads like the 1930s Aryan manifesto!
What changed?
What did we lose?
Granted we were never taught how to love.
Just steered by examples around us and the media.
We get no guide.
For a relationship is a series of events.
A partnership of compromise and putting others first.
That is love
The actuality of giving freely
The fluidity in being of more than ones self.
As with no guide to success, there is no guide to what works.
So giving up before we start has become so so easy.
Not even giving someone a chance as they are an inch below you.
Not meeting her because she is a size bigger than the cover of a magazine model that is an airbrush fake in any case.
Mankind has become a species of apathy.
If Neil Armstrong was born now he would be sat in a bar not walking on the moon.
We don't nurture anything.
We lost our way.
We have lists.
We no longer know who we’re looking for.
Maybe if we worked backwards.
Ask the couple in the park on the bench in their 80s what made you love?
Not how did you meet or where.
What made you try?
With millions of people what made you special.
We now write of sitting watching DVD s on the couch and growing old together, must love cats, why? Do you want an individual or another pet?
A lap dog.
You can party with anyone.
Friends family hell even the cat.
But finding someone who knows us, who understands us even on a bad day is what we need.
The excitement and thrills will come in any case with all of lifes ups and downs.
But only if "You" are prepared to take a leap into the unknown.

Humour
Cynicism
and
Satire
These are the three corners of the intellectuals outer triangle
The angles define their distance apart.
That distance defines them.

My heart is overgrown with climbers and ivy of lovers gone.
My heart is overgrown with the leaves and branches left behind
As they grew and rooted themselves inside
But when they left, they left behind rotting roots and voids of black and damp
For whenever a love that grew so withers nothing good remains within us

Karma......
Karma comes in many forms
From a simple breeze to a tropical storm
From a gentle nudge
To hearty push
But when it comes it doesn't rush
**** on folk and scream and shout
Karma is always taking notes
So build an empire and declare yourself queen
Nothing karma hasn't already seen
But to get to the throne you used those who cared
Then when your needs fulfilled you cast them away
Then karma after taking notes, came to call to rerurn it all.
The throne now challenged, the empire at war
You really really should have known.
But when your ego is all you have
When others love is cast aside
When all you have left is the world outside

Ask yourself was it worth it all?
To be the empress is to be alone

Rain falls like tears
So many they are indistinguishable.
Yet tears fall one by one, masked by the rain.
Does it make them any less, shrouded by the whole?

I began to make mistakes the first moment I saw her face

There are thoughts that become questions in every mind.
Some must remain thoughts.
Others are spoken, but not for all to hear.
Such thoughts can be enlightened to the receptive.
Or simply noise to the unhearing.
There is always the postilion where no driver is there to speak.
No ears to hear
Just a lone traveller
Alone with their thoughts

Buddha said
"You think you have time"
There is always something.
An event
A target
A deadline
Always something
Then one day you look over your shoulder and the times up
No pause, replay, no going back to edit.
You get one shot at it in this life
Maybe there is another.
Are you willing to take that chance?
Kick the leaves
Paddle in the river
Eat the cake
Take chances
Tell people you love them
Do things and don't have a bucket list
Take the time to live and love
Don't just exist
Because you don't have time
You just think you do
I wish I had

Tonight I was painting my dads garden planters. I built them for him last year. At 85 he is too old to bend down to ground level. So I decided to raise his garden up three feet. Now he has immense pleasure in being able to garden again. While I was painting away listening to music he came out with a cuppa. I was listening to Rachmaninoff. His 2nd piano concerto. I love it. Dad used to play it to us when I was a child. Brings so many good memories back. He stood listening and said that's beautiful who is it. At that point I thought how cruel growing old is. One of his favourite pieces of music and he didn't recognise it. I was about to say come on pops you must know this then I saw the look in his eyes. As though he was in his youth hearing this masterpiece for the very first time. His mind decades in the past. At the end he raved about it. I said what it was and he processed the thoughts and said yes I have it played by the man hinself on an LP. Then tells me John Barry used it in the Movie Somewhere in Time. His brain now full speed ahead.
We have good days and bad days in lifes journey. Dad and I have had to many bad ones of late.
But I learned something from him again tonight. Always remember ..
We are all just somewhere in time.
Use that time wisely.

I sat drinking wine
The world oblivious to our presence, save for a curious Fox.
He stood watching little red ridding hood and the wolf.
They missed the sunset, yet the moon's rise over the twin towers and laughter seemed far more precious.
They watched a lone star over a village and joked that the three wise men wouldn't turn up there!
I looked in her eyes and saw so much love.
I also saw so much sadness.
It was as though I had known her a lifetime yet met a stranger.
I just wanted to tell her it would all be ok.
I doubt she would have believed me.
Then as though they had done something wrong they  packed up the remnants of a feast and headed for Home
That was a night to remember

I asked her to sleep with me
But I wanted her to stay awake more than anything

Roses are red
So is the blood of your enemies
Always carry a shield and a sharp sword

Throughout history the wolves have always been at the door
Always waiting for an opertune moment to strike
Be they wolves disguised, or in plain sight
Always there
Always waiting

But there have always been men and women who step up to face them
without question
Shepherds in another way

A thin blue line stood between all that we cherish and those who would take that away, one attack at a time.

One of that blue line stood and did his duty.
He stood where others ran
He looked into the eyes of the wolves and did not falter
He stood fast to protect his sworn flock
He died in a battle for good.
Keith Palmer
The Good Shepherd

Sometimes vulnerability comes through in a person's character as strength or determination to succeed.
All to often it becomes the portrayal of weaknesses and past failures.
Yet in a minority it shapes them, it gives life to their dreams and ideas.
It's easy to sit back and say it's "destiny" but are we the victims or the stewards of it?

They say if a writter falls in love with you they will forever show it in their words.
What if you fall into the heart of a writter?
Do you tumble falling from word to word as the lexicon of their being shrouds you?
Or do you become like two stars colliding?

For what one admires and respects in the events that lead a soul to a point in time and space, is all we have of them.
A signature of sorts,
their comets tail in the universe.

From that point all that we do entwines in each others script.
I had never thought of life as a script, written daily with characters passing in and out of the storyline.
But it seems true!

If you look at it that way it is simple.
The question is...
Will a character be given a leading roll next to the star.
Or simply a walk in part for a few episodes.
Who knows
Only
The writter.

You thought of saying it to her today, but decided to wait until tomorrow, but someone just said it now, having thought of it yesterday.
The time is always right
The words may not be

That's ok to say mate.
I know the feeling well.
Sadly those we love seem not to love us.
Sometimes think they have no idea of what indeed a relationship really is.
Just a flag of convenience for emotional pirates.
Like knickers up a flagpole

I can say with up most confidence, that I knew not what love was, till I knew what love wasn't

I have heard many people use sayings to comfort in loss.
They were brighter and couldn't burn as long.
It was for the best or it was meant to be.
No I don't buy into that!
It is hideously wrong for a child to die hours old in a parents arms. There is no solace or words of wisdom as it is being cheated.
I cannot imagine my friends loss tonight or the love they had for their baby girl trapped within them. Unable to share it.
I seldom cry, but tears rolled down my cheeks.
I know not what to say to them.

Both ends of the scale darling x!
Love isn't something you can purchase
It is only ever a gift
Sometimes unwanted
Sometimes dreamed of
But only true when given selflessly

I may make that a poem

Strange the way your laughter once filled the room
Now I only hear you in silence
For once a soul leaves your life
Only their echoes remain

If someone is late
Does it mean they disrespect you?Their child may have needed reassurance before they left.
Clearly more important than you needing it when you meet.

If someone is late to a date.
Were they late because they tried so hard to make a great impression because they like you?
Yet all you can do is see a flaw.

If a woman is late doing her make up think yourself lucky.
If she isn't happy with it the evening will be strained.
What's 20 minuites?

If someone is late meeting someone. Maybe it is because they stayed too long with you.
Because you needed them.
Never complain then do you?

So explain late to me?
Because late seems to be the full use of their time as far as I see it.

There was a moment in my day.
The day of rebirth.
The darkness will fade and the light will shine brighter each day from today.
It was coincidentally a friends birthday and without plans aforethought I ended up meeting her and her boyfriend, whom I introduced as fate would have it.
They had been there an hour before me and wine had flowed well.
Then the strangest of things occured.
For I was with strangers.
In that moment I saw something I had not seen for a long time.
I saw hope.
I saw two souls I had known over two decades, yet who only met a month ago.
I saw a difference.
A growth.
A comfort in each others character.
Peace as it were.
It was as though I was an observer, stealing a peek into their lives to a place I had never seen in eithers.
Today of all days.
We all laughed.
We drank and we simply existed in a strange way separated from all around us.
But all I could think of where the words of Alan Watts who defines the pagan path though not intentionally in his narrative, asking who we are.
Challenging all we were imprinted with from birth.
For a couple of hours I saw that question answered with crystal clarity.
I watched it unfold.
I saw who they were.
All that remains is finding
"Who am I?"

Goodnite fellow travelers

As I age it seems to you that I forget the things I need to do.
Names and time, places and meals as each day to you becomes more surreal

All those words on Facebook
All the lines on twitter too
Undying love for someone
It just wasn't to be you
But that isn't such a bad thing
As most of them are frauds
Keeping florists going
And cheap Chinese imports

By Saturday the wifebeater will have forgotten all he wrote
The psychotic wife will be throwing things
Back to the status quo.
So why do people do it, as in spend an arm and a leg?
Valentine's was for strangers, an anonymous way to vent.

If you were right and they knew it the courtship then commenced
If you kept it up you're a stalker and the courts dealt with it

So look forward to pancake day covered in dietary sins
By then the garage flowers will be rotting in the bin.

In youth we never understand just how the smallest deeds are bound.
We look for a place that doesn't exist with Disney princess and horse drawn coaches.
Then as life lets us down in different ways we learn it's hard.
We learn to see those that care and those whos greed is all they're worth
Then as we come to lifes end we reflect upon all and try to understand
What was right and what was wrong and why we had to be alone

Every xmass some celebrity writes a book on how to slim or how to cook
Tells the world about their life in an autobiographical pile of *****
Bought by sons for mums and dads
Just to sit and gather dust

In the great scheme of things it's the moments not the minuets. It's the stolen moment not the protracted chore. It's the thought you leave with, not the views of others.

You may not Have been their first choice but you may be their last hope
You may think you are an afterthought
But could be their only one
So look at all that you have not all that you may have

Time travel love
I would just like to say how much I love you.
Have an amazing Yule/Christmas.
To the most amazing, beautiful and incredible woman in the world.

So
One day I hope someone will look back at this and read it and know it was for them alone, even though they didn't yet know

Even though they were not known
Never met
Never kissed
Never touched their finger tips

Had never laughed like lovers do
Never knew the others view

They spent today all alone
They never called them on the phone

They went to bed and fell asleep
Their ying and yang didn't meet


So is this all about me and for another I may never meet
Or it could be for you and others
Who never met their time travel lovers

So share it!
Tweet it
Instagram or shout
Let the world know you're about

What do you have to do?
I've writen the hard part down for you.
A lonely Farts production

Posted for my mad buddy who I swear has peed reading it. If you think it doesn't fit here. Don't read it I guess.

Cindersfellas

When Cinderella lost her shoe, the Prince did all that he could do!
Night and day he gave his all to re unite it with her smelly sole
So many that he tried it upon, yet none could hold the slipper on.
To fat to thin or athlete's foot and what a stink he had to sniff up

But as he thought his quest was fraught, a delicate foot he came upon
Pedicured and delicate, all his foot ferishes desired!
Like fingers into a silken glove, her tootsies slid into its glass a perfect fit he's found his wife

All ended well her sisters thrashed and cinders got the Princes heart
She also got the princes cash, his castle horses cars and thrones, all the maid had dreamed upon.
That as Disney is same in life, when you marry a gold digging *****

But.. Cinders is simply just a tale to make kids think that lifes a rainbow
With unicorns an Bambis too with multi coloured marshmallow poos

It ain't that or nothing near, because there ain't no Prince or footwear here!
Often a fool who does there part to show their love to another's heart
Yet used and abused and taken for granted, often hit and always shouting

Ringin bells? And not in church? You're a victim of the Disney curse!!
You ain't Snow white more like the prisoner, locked inside a nightmare before Christmas
No glass slippers no carriage either, all they sold you is wedding fever!!

So be your own Princess or Prince or knave or whatever else you think
Your life, your choice your one and only
Don't waste it with unworthy causes.

For in the end you're a long time dead
Don't let them **** you inside as well
Your heart beats and it beats for you
Sometimes in time with another's too

So there you have it, all that is
No glass slipper no magical dream
But if you think the one for you
is out there in lifes foggy world
You may be right and find them there
I hope it's all that you deserve

But remember now just these things.
Cinders never got a ring !
Maybe Shrek was not a Prince
But Fiona didn't get beaten up

Never fall in love with an equestrian girl
Because she always dreaming of something between her thighs and it aint you!

Never love a woman with more than 2 cats, because she's already half way to the asylum and you don't want that!

Never buy a car, one owner, from new from a woman who can't show you where the oil goes too.

Never argue with a woman. You think you're discussing, she thinks shes telling you and you won't win that.

Never go to bed angry. You don't need to. Because she will always remind you first thing you wake in any case.

Never date an old friend. Because she will remember everything even if you don't

Never fall for a foreigner in a far away land. Because you're just an option
One of many they have

Netflix tonight!
The man of the house said
She said "Lets watch a chick flick"
  But he wasn't having that.

"Let's watch Brando it's a classic"
was his next idea,
Last Tango in Paris!
Have you never seen it my dear?

They sat together watching with smart price popcorn and cheap wine
Then came the scene where the old boy grabbed the butter and suddenly it was all in the gutter

Engrosed and engorged or a mix of the two, he shouted get some butter,
"I'll try that with you"

It looked fun at first till she got to his fridge
She opend the door and no butter could she see.
Smart price lard was all that was there, this wasn't Chester oh what a mess

We have none she said in a voice of relief
And headed for bed without a buttered rear seat

Half an hour later then came the shock
The cook came to bed with dripping on his ****
Naked and ****** and wanting a bunk
She fled the bedroom before he could mount

In a nighty like a wigwam caught in the breeze and her funbags unbridled
Down to her knees

She screamed to the neighbours he's trying to **** me with a lard coverd **** and an oversize belly

The police came quick, just like he did
They couldn't stop laughing at his melted dipstick
Take him away the Sgt said
That's the last Tango in Noctorum
He'll have with her!!

My eyes closed
The day began to play back
In monochromatic, no colour, no pause
Overlapping days and the drama replayed
Accusations in anothers battle
A fight I have no place in

The smell of a womans freshly washed hair
When a woman leans back knowing you are there
The scent of perfume on her neck
When she has dressed to go out but has dressed only for you
When she cries and smiles at the same time
Hugs you and melts into you
When you watch her sleep and pray to a god you don't believe in that she wakes tomorrow
When she touches you in a crowd as though you are the only two people in the universe
When all you imagine all day is comimg home to them as much as they do you
Feeling bad because you said something you didn't mean because you both had a bad day
Wishing you were somewhere else
All these little things

Valentine's day for a feminist?
Is it really taking the pish?
She's far too busy burning her bra to bother opening her cards.
Send her flowers, if you dare and hope they aren't Nigerian
Fields of blooms tended to, by oppressed enslaved women you stupid fool.
Chocolates is another risky venture because she's environmently friendly!
She likes orangutans more than you and palm oil harvests just not good.
So think before you send her flowers, you could end up disembodied or at best like Morrisey
and not daffodils shoved where the sun ain't been.
Chocolates are far to risky and cards could lead to fists of furry.
As for **** underwear or things that buzz that are just for her?
Send her them if you dare and god forbid don't ask her to wear them.
She will tie you up with pantyhose ram the tickler up your nose
The handcuffs may become of use, to keep you still as she gets her shovel!
So on the 14th don't take a risk
Say **** all and just play safe
Just smile and don't go anywhere near
Where other fools once tried and paid dear
For under her patio there is still space, that puts a smile on the feminists face.

If I disappear after this you know where to look

It was so cold there nothing could live
It hasn't always been that way
Before, there had been long summers that never seemed to end. Nights when all around danced and sang until they were played out and watched the sun rise
The sound of laughter filled the air and love was in over abundance.
That was then, before.
Now the seasons have no definition. No spring comes, no bird song. No buds promise the beauty of a flower. Just night.
Cold dark apocalyptic night.
For when they left, the seasons left with them.
The sun never rose
Night and darkness was all that remained in
Aleppo
For love had gone

Fools walk the earth while demons watch
Angels above follow their paths
Like pawns in chess each move is made
Good vs Evil in a poor charade

Tricks or treats
Was all it was
It was never really love

Never shook me to the core
Just a ***** diy man *****
Always at her beckon call

Always wrong and never right
Never would apologise

Till the day it all went bang
Face first down stairs and a face slam

Sorry, sorry forgive me now
I didn't mean to really hurt you

That day I should have got my coat
After A and E of course

So don't be a mug and stay for love
Because that isn't there

I have the scars to prove it
Please learn from my mistakes

Morning came, Monday again but not as cold as yesterday
She shuffled like a caterpillar emerging for the spring
Tucked up in her onsie, a safe place to hide, all toasty warm inside

She spent half the night stary eyed, gazing into the sky
The first cup of coffee like a jump start to the soul as she silently screamed "AHA"
The game was afoot!

A poem to read from her friend and co conspiritor, but just hold on a mo, "Oooh Ladyboys" it isn't what she thought!

So Sherlock Shaw was on the case to try and find the truth, not like the BBC and Cumberbatch their "Bitter *******" sleuth

She smelt a rat or was mistaken was it someone else?
Too early in the investigation to shout " let battle commence" it was more like "Deputy Dawg" in Sherlock Shaws defence

So Google this and Google that in a bid to find the truth.
Skip past Sonia and Fernando and Lyn if you must, focus on the detail.
Who is Micheal Wolf?

A name is but a name like
"Bang I'm James Bond"
The devil is in the detail
Like many other things!

So this time lets have laughter as you read, as tears were my last wish
As Alan Partridge said:-
"Smell my cheese you mother"
I'm exactly who I said
Not Spartacus or Michael Wolfe
Just a bloke on the tinterweb

Write words down that you can't say on paper each and every day.
Drop them into a great big jar
Read them months later and release them and cleanse the soul
Or depress the **** out of yourself
They did burn well though

Caught by chance upon a tree
Now a jewel for all to see
Trapped in a moment for evermore
That's how Amber creates a jewel

Like a first glance for eternity
The unsuspecting didn't see
Was simply passing on their way
Didn't mean for them to stay

But once touched by all that Amber is
Your whole life changes in a flash
For you there is no turning back

A drop of liquid gold
She has you in fateful hold
For you can never be the same
Trapped inside till your last breath
And you haven't realised it yet

Her golden warmth like liquid love
Surrounds you as you feel its touch
By now it's far to late
For Amber now has sealed your fate

You cannot resist
You cannot move
It's over now
At least for you

I think my words simply became orphans
Much as I imagined they would be adopted or fostered in anothers mind, they simply driffted without patronage into the ether.
It never starts that way does it? I mean we comment on something or pass compliment not always knowing who reads or hears.
Nor do we expect in any great measure that our daily mumblings will be life changing.
Yet sometimes, after great thought or torn emotions, we let go to a few words we expect will make the ground shake beneath a soul.
Or close doors behind them we no longer want open.
Then sometimes they pass together.
Words so powerful and yet devastatingly silent.
I loved you, goodbye

They say say it with flowers
Or shout "I Love You" in German to scare them.
Actions speak, words don't!
A drunken text means they miss you.
Is there a guide to this ****?
Because there needs to be!!